Sad Days
Today is Victoria Beckham's 34th birthday! Can you imagine hating yourself for 34 years? If you want to celebrate another boring annum the way Posh would, heave your breasts skyward, be cold, get taken advantage of, flush money down the toilet on so many things and buy into bullshit gender roles while laughably maintaining that you're actually a feminist icon. Don't have fun, kids.
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I’d like to take this pathetic biatches birthday to express my growing annoyance of birthday cards or greeting cards in general. Because nothing says you care like going to the drug store and spending 4.50 on an effing card with a crappy manufactured note. Didn’t Hallmark invent Mother’s Day or something? Here’s an idea; get the person a magazine instead! For about the same price you can give something that is useful or entertaining. Or make a card from scratch. Or you can use an old picture and write something on the back of it (if the picture is already digitally saved of course)
End Rant
i've been hating myself for almost 28 years, that's pretty good right?
I'd like to argue that the Birthday Girl here loves herself quite a bit actually. And is laughing–all the way to the bank.
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Vicky
….oh fuck this, you know I don't mean it , i hate insincere greetings nearly as much as Maria.
I wonder if she gets to break her 900 calorie a day diet on her birthday? Shiiit, I definitely would. She needs to start eating more if she wants to get pregnant again.
Oh look, someone gave her two balloons for her birthday…wait…whaa..oh! Nevermind.
shit, maria, i would never spend 4.50 on a card. i shop in the 99 cent section.