Beyonce, explaining God’s preferential treatment:

I can???t really go to church any more, which is a shame. People have come up to me in church during the sermon and, of course, people watch everything I do. They come up and take my picture on their mobile phones. They???re very nice, but I think God understands if I miss Sunday service.


May 22, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 22 Responses
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Tagged: Beyonce, God, Quoted
Comments (22)

No. 1 Mr. T says:

She left out the part about the collection plate.

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 12:42 pm
No. 2 deimos says:

you’re wrong beyonce. your god is going to be very angry that you won’t go to service because you can’t be bothered with people taking your picture. shame on you.

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 3:39 pm
No. 3 Stoney says:

Yes, but what He doesn’t understand is why your thighs are so big and the obsession with gold lame!

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 3:53 pm
No. 4 playla says:

I’m sure you hurt god’s wittle feewings when you miss church.


Posted: May 22, 2008 at 3:54 pm
No. 5 Wandell says:

Ah yes, it must be hard to be too famous to go to church. And having fans? Pfft that is TOTALLY not something one would anticipate with a career in selling out!

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 3:57 pm
No. 6 lala says:

I hope that fat tub of lard reads these sites and realizes that NO ONE gives a flying f&*$ about her! Are you serious little miss piggy? Maybe they’re trying to take your picture because they thought they just saw chewbacca in the audience.

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 4:06 pm
No. 7 playla says:

She’s not fat. I mean that’s got to be a joke, lala. She’s obnoxiously self important but not fat.

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 4:13 pm
No. 8 Sylvia says:

Pretty lame excuse.

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 4:22 pm
No. 9 admittedlyaddicted says:

because if she was a Christian and pictured in church, it would do NOTHING to help spread the Word of God… Heaven forbid celebrities do any REAL socially respectable role-modeling…

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 4:35 pm
No. 10 whatevs says:

you guys are all such bitches….fucking chill out and quit hating! You got too much times on ya hand! Big thighs, egomaniac, etc like y’all bitches ain’t sitting on your fat asses doing fuck all except hating….how bout you shut up…i don’t even like beyonc?? that much but she ain’t as bad as all that…

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 5:17 pm
No. 11 economics says:

Religion is a disease full of hypocrites that suck up, animals with low IQ’S and child fuckers- that’s what she’s pointing out, I think? No wait- she’s one of them with the gift of voice. Uh huh.

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 6:03 pm
No. 12 Luz says:

I thought she was a Satanist.

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 6:41 pm
No. 13 stopthemadness says:

my fulltime job is sitting on my fat ass doing fuck all except hating.

i majored in hating and minored in disliking.

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 6:41 pm
No. 14 SnackySmores says:

Someon should tell her that animals at the zoo still go outside and handle their business. People are always staring at them and taking pictures, and I don’t see any of them bitching.

Posted: May 22, 2008 at 6:47 pm
No. 15 Talica says:

Haha @ 14
Gosh for someone who claims to be so religious this statement is pretty distasteful.

Posted: May 23, 2008 at 1:00 am
No. 16 Barbiedoll says:

It saddens me to see that so many people dislike her as if she’s offended them personally. So what if she is a little thick. If she likes it then I love it. The world should have a problem with it because it doesn’t affect them.

I also wonder where people the issue of her being an egomaniac has come from. She’s popular…so what. If we really don’t care about her then why go through the trouble of concocting a written response spelling out how much you don’t care. Silence is golden. Otherwise your negativity will continue to fan the fire which is an unfortunate state of affairs for the people that dislike her.

Let’s face it. We ALL have our own issues. NOONE is perfect. Celebrities are human just as you and I are. They’re sh– stinks too so don’t be surprised when you smell it.

Posted: May 23, 2008 at 8:59 am
No. 17 Barbiedoll says:

**The world should NOT have a problem…

Posted: May 23, 2008 at 9:00 am
No. 18 Jaun says:

You don’t have to go to church to worship God.

And Beyonce (as well as Kelly Rowland) are huge supporters of St. John’s church in downtown Houston. They even built a huge teen center for the church that is open to everyone. The preacher from St. John’s is who married Beyonce to JayZ.

Posted: May 23, 2008 at 11:02 am
No. 19 queencrone says:

Dearest God,

Did you tell Beyonce that You understood if she didn’t go to church?

Because I want You to know that it isn’t easy for me to get to church either. We only have the one bathroom, and it takes us all so long to get ready. We just about kill each other, just getting ready. As You know, there are 7 of us here at this house.

So if it is ok, maybe we can just stay home like Beyonce.

(I’ll send in my tithes per usual. I don’t know what Beyonce is doing about hers.)

Most sincerely, with all due respect,

Posted: May 24, 2008 at 12:35 am
No. 20 leaveBEYONCEalone! says:

Look folks,

Beyonce is neither fat nor egomaniacal. And, she is kind of doing the parishoners a favor by not attending church.

Beyonce is healthy- healthy looking and probably healthy feeling- unlike some of these celebrities out there. One thing some of you fail to recognize is the fact that her primary audience/fanbase is young black people. Not only do alot of black girls/women LOVE Beyonce, black men of all ages are in LOVE with Beyonce (yes, in that sick old enough to be her grandfather kind of way).

See, black men love thicker women. Black men also distinguish the term “thick” from “fat,” not even drawing a fine line between the terms. Most black men just don’t like waiflike women, such as Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. As a result, many black women, through positive reinforcement of this healthy body image by black men, are very comfortable being thick, and the black men love the confidence exuded, too. Don’t ever forget the advice of Sir Mix-A-Lot– “You can do side-bends or sit-ups, but please don’t lose that butt!”

When Destiny’s Child first came out, she was thicker than she is now, and she was still in high school. But, I remember hearing black men talk about Beyonce as “just right,” and Kelly as “too thin.” And, she didn’t lose all that weight until her 1st solo album came out. (Remember- her pretty bad movie Fighting Temptations came out at the same time as the Crazy in Love video, and she looks like two different people almost because the movie was filmed long before she went on the rabbit food diet and filmed the music video). And, she caught a little bit of hell when she lost all that weight. Not only did she get the typical eating disorder rumors, but many of her “admirers” had to ask why she messed up such a good thing? I’m sure she only lost the weight because Destiny’s Child had kind of “crossed over” with the Independent Women and Survivor success, and had to “assimilate” into US pop music culture in order to achieve world domination, as I think she has.

Which brings me to my next point. For a woman who has sold MILLIONS of records AROUND THE WORLD, she is incredibly down to earth– not the egomaniacal bitch you secretly wish she was in order to give you a reason to talk sh*t about her.

First of all, if she were egomaniacal, wouldn’t she live in LaLaLand or NYC full time so all the paparazzi a**holes could follow her every move? Don’t mistake her desire to keep her private life private as egomaniacal. I’m far from a celebrity, but I try to keep my business out of the streets as much as possible too. Don’t get it twisted- she don’t owe you no type of explanation about where she was, who she was with, why she was with them, etc. ((three snaps and a neck roll.)) Sure, she dates Jay-Z. But, check him out- he’s quite a private person too. Post Destiny’s Child member fiasco, she rarely makes the gossip rags unless it’s about her being best- or worst-dressed. Otherwise, it is some media instigation/speculation hoping they can trigger a statement from her people confirming or denying a rumor. Egomaniacal, huh? No, she values her privacy like anyone else. She really doesn’t even like the attention, admitting to having to flip into an alter ego (Sasha) in order to perform and be the Beyonce that her fans know and love.

Secondly, just because Beyonce seems to get what Beyonce wants, that doesn’t make her egomaniacal. She has direction and personal goals within that she takes steps toward acheiving everyday, unlike some other pop tartlets out there (don’t get me started on that chick from Louisiana who went crazy and shaved off all her hair, eventually culminating in multiple stints in rehab and (an) attempted commitment(s) to (a) mental institution(s) and resulting in her loss of custody of her children, not to mention putting out a rushed album of crap and giving a piss-poor performance on the VMAs, but I forget her name…) Beyonce is a strong-headed woman who knows what she wants and goes out an gets it and comes back with it! Not an egomaniacal bitch. Fine line. Strong headed woman=Beyonce. Egomaniacal bitch=Hillary Clinton.

My last note was really more a dig at the spin placed on her quote in this blogpost. Can you imagine what going to church would be like with Beyonce as a parishoner? I would stop going to that church and find another church. There’d be paparazzi trying to take pictures. There’d be a line of people coming to church only to see Beyonce, under the guise that they are there for fellowship and prayer. There’d be people waslking up to her just to take a pic on their cell phone cameras. And, chances are that there would be a new batch of people every Sunday trying to get a picture of/with Beyonce. That would drive the old parishoners crazy as they try to find a seat in a church that they may have been frequenting for many years because they’ve all been taken by people getting there early to get the “good seats” to see Beyonce.

Her statement wasn’t very tactfully made, but her point is clear. Her presence in church has proven to cause distractions in getting God’s message across to some parishoners. I’m sure the parishoners are thankful that she recognizes that her presence alone has been proven to cause multiple distractions, and that she has decided to stay home.

And, when was the last time you heard any of these pop tartlets mention a church? Well, let’s see, which celeb last had a funeral?!?! Now, I’m not a religious person in the least, I’m just saying…

Before you go speculating- I don’t work for Beyonce, nor am I related to her. I don’t really care for her music, but I was offended by what some of the commenters on this website consider fat. The irony is, I bet half of you commented on another blog earlier today about how skinny some starlet looked. You wanna holler “FEED LINDSAY” but then holler “STARVE BEYONCE” and you wonder why your children grow up to be like Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Ritchie and Mischa Barton and Tara Reid and Paris and Nicky Hilton and, well, need I go on. Thicken them up like Beyonce and then see what happens. Oh wait, they can never thicken up like Beyonce… with them having Noassatall Disease, they do look fat before they look thick anytime they put on a little weight. Damn, it can really suck to be a white girl sometimes. But, don’t take it out on Beyonce!

Oh, and, I think it’s messed up that her weave is always jacked up when you consider the fact that her mother is a hairstylist.

Posted: May 24, 2008 at 8:41 am
No. 21 Luz says:


Posted: May 24, 2008 at 3:07 pm
No. 22 Crazazy says:

cough, cough, COMMIE, cough, cough…

Posted: May 25, 2008 at 5:35 pm
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