Would it have been too much to ask for something big to fall on Paris, Heidi or Spencer?

Are my goat sacrifices doing ANY good?

I hate earthquakes! i live about 45 minutes away from the epicenter and it scared the bejesus out of me! I need a bejesus transplant!

Yea, that woke me up. I didn't even get out of bed. My husband was yelling for me to run out of the house, but I was naked and lazy.

I'm on the phone with someone who just went through it. She's giving me an interview (not related to the earthquake) and driving her mom to the dentist. Life goes on, I guess. Me? I'd be driving home to change my poopy pants.

I live in the northeast - land of no earthquakes but snow up to yer tits 8 months of the year - Kate, I'm sorry you lost your bejesus, If I see a spare I'll send it to you, YerMom, I appreciate your laziness and Keeblerkahn, please continue with the goat sacrifices, they're helping somewhere, we just don't know where yet.

I find it hard to believe that with all the earthquakes in/near LA that we don't lose more useless trash list "celebrities". Is there no God? Or does he just like to watch the chaos?

damn Keebler…I'm sorry. I didn't realize those were sacrifices and I told my in-laws they could cook them. I figured the goat looked to be in better shape than the time they bought one for a discount because someone had hit it with a car. And that, my friends, is a true farking story - you can ask my mexican if you don't believe me.

*Disclaimer: I do NOT eat goat, nor do I participate in their roasting of the head underground. They invite the mexican over and tell him to warn me to stay home. Same goes with menudo Sundays.

The band or the tripe soup? I'm not sure which leaves behind a worse aftertaste.

Kate. I heart people who measure distance in minutes.

i was in downtown la when my building started swaying and shaking. damn thing is built on rollers. what should have been a few second jolt turned into a 30 second "what in the name of bacon (the meat, not kevin) is going on?"

You know, I been through a bunch of earthquakes in California.

Also, my neighbors have a superb stereo system but they rarely put on their subwoofers. It rocks the block.

I never can tell, are we having a 5.8 earthquake right now, or did the neighbors put on their subwoofers?

Well that explains a lot, AA. I guess it's really my fault. I'll be sure to leave a sigh on the carcass next time. PLEASE DON"T EAT THE PAGAN SACRIFICE. THANK YOU. The management. I'll leave some Sonic coupons on the sign to sweeten the deal.

Sonic coupons? where's this sign exactly?