Whitney Port, Lauren Conrad’s sidekick on The Hills, seems to have found herself a new boyfriend. We thought we were underwhelmed by Trainer Jarett, but this new guy exceeded our expectations. And not in a good way.
The two had dinner at Katsuya in Hollywood last night, where they presumably discussed how on earth a guy like him scored a date with a girl like her.
I know, right? Cause the Hills girls are all so smart, loyal, and down to earth. And talented. You can’t ever forget that kind of talent.
That’s what I was thinking Janice… that conversation would not last long. “Because we are both SUPERFICIAL AND EMPTY!!! What the fuck is an hors d’??uvre?? Waitress, can we have an English menu?!! Jeez.”
“I think horse dooves are something they eat in Paris. Lauren told me about it. They’re like little cream cheese things or something with stuff on them. Am I pretty?”
I don’t know if you guys have watched the hills, but thats about as much dialogue as they have in an entire episode. Mostly its just cuts back and forth between two or more characters looking at each other awkwardly. I love it!
“Whitney, there is always room for improvement. Baby, baby, don’t misunderstand. I love you. That’s why I will pay for all of the procedures. And, here, you can have some hor dooves, as long as they make them with cream cheese with 75% less fat.”
“You’re so nice… what’s your name again? It doesn’t really matter. What sounds good with Whitney? You could be Chris, so people could call us Chrisney, or we could be Steveney or Jackney. You choose, that was hard.”
“How rude is it really to masturbate in public?”
“Are there paparazzi watching? Cause like, totally, like if they’re watching, like, do it.”
Hey, let’s all go to Le Deux and stare at each other there. Funners.
What’s with the Charlie Brown sweater? Did he wear that on a dare?