• Claymates continue to wear their blinders, think Clay Aiken likes the old penis-vagina. [DListed]

• Vanessa Minnillo and Nelly Furtado are too preoccupied with getting let into the club to notice their personal assistants getting a beat down outside. [TMZ]

• Even Jessica Alba has Cocker Spaniel hair days. [Hollywood Tuna]

• Dating Lindsay Lohan is a pain in the ass, so Harry's just taking a breather. [PopSugar]

• Joe Simpson wants to kick the ass of anyone who gets to legally touch Jessica's lovely lady lumps. [Junkiness]

• The Dirty Sanchez is the most elementary of Screech's bedroom maneuvers. [BWE]

• T.O. did, or did not, whichever, try to kill himself last night. [A Socialite's Life]