• Show us all the side boob you want, Mariah Carey, but wearing a little pink dress sill merits comparison to a certain Muppet. [DListed]

• You may not remember high school biology, but this diagram of Nicole Ritchie shows that perhaps you retained more information than you think. [Gallery of the Absurd]

• Finally an official statement from Lindsay Lohan’s fire crotch. [Best Week Ever]

• If Access Hollywood keeps giving away juicy gossip, especially nuggets like this, I may just have to start watching. [The Jay]

• Colin Farrell is officially the manliest dude ever to star in a Woody Allen film. Like, by a longshot. [A Socialite’s Life]

• Who knows whether Clay Aiken is welcome at tonight’s ‘Idol’ finale, but it sure is fun to assume that he’s not. [Queerty]

• Since we're always looking for a new reason to hate Paris Hilton, catch a load of how much money she makes just to look vapid and wave. [The Superficial]

• Nothing like a good "Cease and Desist" to prove what was written about your client is absolutely positively untrue. [The Malcontent]