• Nicole Richie is the saddest girl to ever wear a white satin party dress. [Hollywood Rag]

• What has long legs, a beak, and shows off its tailfeather? Paris Hilton, Shamlessae Hussius. [Gallery of the Absurd]

• At least she's sexier than Rod Stewart, right? Right? [DListed]

• Keira Knightly's scowl might give me nightmares tonight. [Teddy and Moo]

• Surprise, surprise, Lance Bass has been acting totally gay for years. [BWE]

• Do you wish that you were on Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley's honeymoon with them? Well, thanks to the wonder of paparazzi, you can feel like you are. [Celebitchy]

• Despite teaming with Reebok, Scarlett Johansson's idea of working out is walking to get pizza, and thanking God for being naturally smoking hot. [OAN]