She's got knees that just won't quit.

I have black velvet trackpants! So cosy.

I have them in red!!! At first I thought they were at the bowling ally. But I was hung over at the time.

Beyonce is harder to accept than just about anything.

I think mine are fake velvet. But I wash them in cold water and let them air dry, then fluff them in the dryer so they won't be stiff.

But I never wear them to the bowling alley.
Not that I think that this picture was taken at the bowling alley or anything.

I didn't know Armani made size 50! Anyway, she looks good, but she'd look better minus a couple hundred pounds.

Brendan. Yes dollie, mine are a size 50.

Oops, my bad, you're probably clowing on the picture. Let me tell you she's not a size 50.

Why can't I like her? Her "Diamonds are a girl's best fah-riend" commercial is driving me nuts. She's dancing crazy-like and I'm not sure if I should imitate her or ridicule her.