What better holiday than Christmas to exclude people based on their sexuality?

Joe Simpson is reportedly forbidding Pete Wentz from attending the Simpson family holiday festivities with oft-sutured girlfriend Ashlee. Sources say Joe became upset with Wentz after reading an article in which Wentz confessed to once kissing a boy! (How camp!)

“Joe was skeptical about the relationship from the start,” said an insider, “…but with the news of his possible bisexuality, Joe blew his top.” (”…blew his top”? Again: camp!)

With all the reasons one could muster to hate Pete Wentz, why go after his bisexual proclivities and look like a stupid zealot?


Dec 5, 2007 · Link · 19 Responses
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Comments (19)

No. 1 playla says:

He was NPR the other day talking masculinity in “Rock” music today…

I know, cord, how camp.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 4:14 pm
No. 2 sammboo says:

Papa Joe is cut throat, he doesnt want anything to ruin Ashlee`s presidential bid in 2035….

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 4:19 pm
No. 3 maria says:

This is the only reason Ashlee’s dad could come up with to ban Wentz? How about his face sucks and his music sucks and his club is stupid. I’ll bet this is all Jessica’s doing, she’s depressed and wants the whole world to be unhappy too.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 4:22 pm
No. 4 janice says:

If she wants the whole world to be unhappy, she should be encouraging Ashlee and Wenzter to mate.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 4:26 pm
No. 5 jujubees says:

Can I also add that his pants are stupid guy liners is fucking ridonculous and he looks like a hamster that got punched in the face. I wouldn’t let him in my house for those reasons.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 4:30 pm
No. 6 deimos says:

i’d like to add the his stupid hoodie should be set on fire and somebody should cut his stupid hair. pete=douche…true story.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 4:37 pm
No. 7 jujubees says:

Put Britney’s green bow hoodie on that bonfire. There must be some special douche bag hoodie store.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 4:40 pm
No. 8 Frowny McBeard says:

Anyone who talks about his own (other) daughter’s chest like that shouldn’t be throwing stones.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 4:48 pm
No. 9 deimos says:

let’s just throw all of pete’s, britney’s and paris’s hoodies in the fire, we’ll be doing the world a favor. then we’ll go burn the douche bag hoodie store.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 5:03 pm
No. 10 Cait says:

I would ban Hoodie McSkinnyjeans from my Festivus celebrations sheerly because there’s a good chance he’d try to steal my MAC eyeliner.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 5:06 pm
No. 11 janice says:

Why don’t we just cut out the middle man, and throw pete, britney and paris on the fire, period? Cut off the hoodies at the source.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 5:08 pm
No. 12 stopthemadness says:

i wouldn’t let him in my house because he is stupid enough to take pictures of his cock ‘n balls and allow them to miraculously appear on the internets.

if you’re taking pictures of your teener peener, you better photoshop those bitches.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 5:08 pm
No. 13 jujubees says:

I think everyone has made some very good points on why Pete should be kept away from all holiday celebrations.

The thing is, he’s going to show up somewhere and ruin it for someone. Better Joe simpson than someone good.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 5:24 pm
No. 14 Luz says:

I’m offended by the amount of time he spends flat-ironing his hair.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 5:27 pm
No. 15 jujubees says:

I have a feeling they flat iron each others hair.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 5:43 pm
No. 16 janice says:


Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 5:45 pm
No. 17 blah says:

His tube of eyeliner, mascara, and nail polish should all be thrown in that fire too.

I have a feeling they both sleep with teddy bears. Just looking at him, I can totally imagine that he’d rather be sleeping with Paddington than Ashlee.

Posted: Dec 5, 2007 at 5:56 pm
No. 18 southiejpd says:

fuck joe simpson, fuck ashlee simpson & fuck jessica simpson. Pete Wentz rocks!

Posted: Dec 6, 2007 at 8:18 am
No. 19 SAMBA MAMA says:

Ummm, Ashley Simpson looks like a man and has a friggin Adam’s apple.. Trust me, The way I see it, they are STRAIGHT!! He’s the girl and she’s the boy!! No problem man!!

Posted: Dec 7, 2007 at 12:29 am
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