Chinese import Bai Ling says her recent arrest in a Los Angeles airport for shoplifting was just a misunderstanding. According to the exotic powder keg, she didn't mean to steal $16 worth of batteries and magazines, it just looked like she did when she picked them up and walked out of a store with them while using her cell phone. "Then the police come. All the lights," Ling told PageSix.com, sounding like a caricature, "And they took me. I had no intention to take." The DA agreed with Ling's version and reduced her charge to an infraction, the consequence for which is a $250 fine.

It has nevertheless been a trying time for BLing. Thankfully, matronly Englishwoman Helen Mirren helped her young friend cope with the pain of this damnable shoplifting mix-up while on the set of their new film, Love Ranch: "Helen Mirren just came to me, and held my hand, she said, 'Bai Ling, we understand. Use this for the film.'"

In Love Ranch, Ling plays a top-earning prostitute.