I'm almost certain the only way one can actually laugh at Dane Cook's overanimated cunnilingus bits is to watch them with one's mother, thereby forcing the nervous giggles produced in those situations. Otherwise, his show is akin to seeing the school bully act out losing his virginity. And now that he's fuck-joked a stain onto comedy, Dane's trying his fist at music. Seriously.
His first song, "Forward," sounds like it took about one shit to write, and it also sounds like a million other things on the radio. Here's a sampling of the lyrics: "I'm the only thing that doesn't fit in this place/ Who am I s'posed to be/ Falling while I'm standing still/ Do I deal so willingly with the fact that I've lost the will." Ah, trite! It's like someone turned a Zach Braff movie into a song!
The good souls at Best Week Ever were kind enough to match Cookie's beautiful work in music to his adept work in comedy. I think the juxtaposition of the two speaks volumes about this man's talent.
Editor
You have to be kidding. Please, Cord, please tell me this is a joke!
I have to admit 5 years ago, before he was dating Simpsons and making horrible movies, I did find his antics entertaining, also, I love to support local acts, and he's from Arlington, right outside Boston, but I became quickly unimpressed when I found out he stole all his material from Louis CK. Bad Dane, stealing is bad.
Stop ruining Dane Cook for me. I really thought "A Vicious Circle" was funny, and now all I get is a bunch of douchebaggery. I don't want to know, Cord, really. STOP IT.
Great Cord, juuuust great. You induced the mental image of me watching that bit with my mom and having her turn to me and say "Ugh, that's how your father used to do it until I set him straight." Really I should blame my own psyche. Where the hell did that come from? I'm going to go curl up into the fetal position now.
He's so… overpowering. He's like that manager you have who coems by your desk and says loud crap like, "You gonan eat that sandwich? You know it takes 6 hours to burn off the calories in one slice of cheese? Aren't you single?…AAAh I'm just pickin on ya."
*comes/gonna
I want to punch him in the testicles. I don't really hate him that much but I wonder what kind of face he would make?
he doesn't have testicles, just two middle fingers. it's part of his stick - i mean shtick.
I'm ok with just punching him in the neck.
he's a f'ing no talent. his standup can't really even be characterized as comedy. The parody of dane f'ing loser cook done by Ike Barenholtz from mad tv is his only contribution to entertainment.
i realize everyone has different tastes but come on….in dane's case…there's really nothing here.
seriously i wouldn't want to be in his family. i know it sounds ridiculous but i can just see the verbal abuse oozing out of his skin. when I see him, I hear something akin to - GOD MOM I TOLD YOU I HATE GRILLED CHICKEN DAMMIT YOU STUPID BITCH!
Oh, I can see that. She probably tried to reason with him instead of putting him in the closet with no water. Just like good ole mom did.
some parents let their kids walk all over them. i say, walk on your children! they'll respect you, and they won't have back problems later on.
sar, that's why if I have a boy I'll name him Matt.
I think you should go with the French pronunciation, Matte.
i hate him (dane cook, not your future son Matte Lily) but he is filiming The Bachelor No. 2 at my law school tonight
Can you get close enought to "accidentally" head butt him?
the bachelor no. 2, like a sequal to the bachelor starring chris o'donnell and renee zelweiaerwiiger??
It will be this generations, Mannequin 2. Every generation needs one.
No i dont think it is. I think its supposed to be like the dating show.
ill try to get close and accidently kick him in the nuts, but i wont head but him, ill probably get herpes.