I think Solange wins in the name game. It rolls off the tongue a whole lot easier than "Beyonce."

Solange doesn't have the thunderous thighs that Beyonce has, either.

The older one makes my ears bleed, pretty sure Solange doesn't have a chance.

http://www.ilsvont.com

Maybe she should try falling down some stairs?

Yeah Beyonce's just a regular heifer with those thighs. Whatever. They're both kind of…meh.

I think Beyonce is a smoke show.

Meaning she's smokin hot.

My advice to Solange would be:

1. Lose the baby. Or be more of a mom. Whatever. Just quit pretending he's your little brother until someone calls you out on it.

2. Add an accent to the end of your name. It detracts from any little glitches, like mediocre talent.

3. Stop wearing shit from House of Dereon or however it's spelled. That stuff's ugly. You don't need a t-shirt with necklaces printed on the fabric; just go ahead and wear a t-shirt, then add some real necklaces.

4. If all else fails, there are some celebrity parents/managers that can probably help you, as they have experience in polishing something dull and making it shine.
-Joe Simpson
-Dina and/or Michael Lohan
-Lynne Spears (not technically a manager, but she knows how to whore out a girl and make some buck!)
**I'd advise against the Hogan family, as, despite their best efforts, they just can't make it happen for poor Brookie.

And if you don't get anywhere there, try hooking up with Kelly and Michelle. I bet they'd kill to knock your big sis down a couple of rungs.

Once, just once, can we see Beyonce's REAL hair? Just once? Does she have any anymore? Liberate thyself from the weave, woman! Without all that hair, she's pretty ordinary.