In high school, one of my best friends since childhood made the poor decision to briefly date an oft-medicated raver. He's since told me about lots of really bizarre things she did during the course of their relationship – the ecstasy, the crying – but the story that's stuck with me is about the time she wore edible underwear to prom, edible underwear that was sweaty, sticky and stringy by the time they got back to their hotel room that night. My friend's cringing face is the only thing I could think about while reading the following blind item.
Which pervy cad about town has yet another weird penchant … for edible underwear? He makes all of his ladies wear a specially made licorice thong that he likes to slowly chew off of them.
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I don't know, but that is a lot of licorice to eat in one sitting. I would be way too full for sexy time after that.
It could be worse, it could be black licorice.
I hate red "licorice." IT'S NOT ACTUAL LICORICE.
OK, you may proceed now.
Wow, I love that story. I'm on a diet and I just decided to skip lunch, thanks Cord!
People book hotel rooms for their prom night? There was none of that at our "banquet." That's hoity-toity, yo.
Lemme break it down ilz, you rent a hotel room and lose your v-card (if you still have it) Prom nite, it's the reason Prom was invented.
I know, but the people I know did it in their backyards or in their cars or in (!!) playgrounds. Hotel room? That's fucking organized. Even if it's too share with a raver. It almost gives you back your dicknity.
*to
Fuck you. Typos are human.
There's no fucking point when I go to prom, then. Har har, maria.
Losing it in a car must be very uncomfortable. A playground after dark makes sense (actually a playground after dark is a great metaphor…for something).
I'm kind of uncomfortable with the idea of a child going on a slide and coming home with semen on their trousers.
I was babysitting this kid, and he picked up a condom (a packaged one– PHEW), unwrapped it, and started chewing it. That was one awkward "that's not candy, baby" conversation. Especially since he was in grade 7. Seriously. This happened.
*his trousers
Again.. fuck you.
I guess I'll start the bidding at Clooney.
Oh wait I didn't see the "another" part. I'll outbid myself with Terence Howard.
No way. Not unless he could find some licorice made by Purell. Plus then they'd be all sticky and they'd have to stop for a baby wipes break.
I'll go with Clooney too. Or, I'll throw in one Mr. Bruce Willis.
"another weird penchant" It's gotta be Terrance Howard. Remember when he talked about the baby wipes?
Yes but Clooney was also looking good for coprophagia.
"Looking good" and "coprophagia" are not allowed in the same senctence.
I don't think it was Clooney. Larson probably would have sold this information to the tabloids. (It wouldn't even be low of her. He made her fucking eat poop.)
I still like Willis. Clooney seems like he'd be a little vanilla during sex. Willis seems like he'd be down with some crazy and illegal stuff.
GCLTC. Without a doubt in my mind.
I forgot about his other nickname, Clooney the Poo.
Clooney the Pooh.
Clooney the Pooh.
He's handsome and his movies are stuffed with fluff, he's -
Clooney the Pooh.
Clooney the Pooh.
He wants you wear candy down theeeeeere
I agree with the Terence Howard nom…he immediately popped into my mind. His whole cleanliness thing would completely fit into this so well.
I read that as, "he immediately pooped into my mind".
You know what they say, "A poop in the mind is worth two in the bush."
I don't know.. When I think cad, I think Jude Law..
I think I'm having a poop in the mind right now.
janice said:“A poop in the mind is worth two in the bush.”
I think bush poop is a Japaneses fetish.
Jeremy Piven? He's not A list or anything, but he's skeezy enough to try that.
You wordy meanies made me look up "coprophagia" - now its pretty hard for me to justify avoiding my homework by hangin' with you and reading all your comments if you just send me out to the store to buy toilet paper.
I'm going to say Jeremy Piven aka The Pivert
The Vince Vaughn came to my mind. Don't know why.