The only thing missing in this post is the MS Paint with "FUG" written over the dog's face. Good job, Cord.

Yeah, that's gotta be the worst joke in the history of Nicole Richie jokes.

Something I've always wondered - why is "preemie" an acceptable spelling when it's short for premature? The logical spelling would be premie.

Where are the pee sprinkles?

Cord must be out sick today, because I refuse to believe he would do something so lame.

He has been quiet lately. I wonder if those Scientologists finally caught up with him.

Maybe a blue haired fat smurf has him tied up in his basement?

Someone subbing for him would explain the double-ham wallet posting as well.

Or he's just REALLY hungover and has given up trying.

Hair of the Dog, Cord. We'll wait while you go get yourself a bottle of wine.

Or a Pink Squirrel.

i don't know if i could live without cord's snarky comments. come back to us bunnieballs!

He's pulling a Britney. I expect he's just walking around with a frozen margarita and zanex.

Or Xanex, Zanex is another fine Tom-Ba product that will eradicate the rampant glibness I'm sensing.

Stumbling around on a broken stilleto heel with a dazed look on his face.

Flashing his junk.

I wonder if the Jossip staff is remembering to hug him every day at noon.

that must be the problem. he finally went bonkers.

that's it evil, he's acting out because he's not getting enough hugs. poor bunnie.

Come on Cord. I know you get knocked down, but you get up again, they're never going to keep you down.

Oh, Danny Boy, Danny Boy…

Unless the headline refers to Joel and not the dog. Then it's kinda funny.

I would not want to push my head out of my ham wallet.

juju, I really think you should try your best. Your head will thank you later.

Well, that's just crazy talk. How will I sit down without suffocating?

Breathe through your ass.

What is going on with me? This is the second time this week Cord has cracked me up with a joke that everyone else thought was lame.

I'm getting married in less than two weeks, so I blame it on my "wedding brain" (which has turned to mush).

anyone else think she and the dog are making the exact same face

They do have the same hair do.

litterally. Anorexia will make you bald, luckily those dogs shed like crazy

"the bitch sheds like a sheep dog"

i love that old feeling

At least she'll have the hair for new extensions.

Hey Nichole is known for making her dogs hair look like hers so who knows maybe it was styled like that on purpose. I think it is a cute dog though.

It's relying on pretty.

Just wait till it's teets fall.

Cord must not be enjoying his hangover, you old hags.

"Breathe through your ass."

Possibly my favorite mollygood comment of the week.