Dead Men Tell No Tales?

castrorez

"100 percent" dead Commie Fidel Castro is releasing an autobiography from beyond the grave! Now that's what we call a GHOSTWRITER!

The book, titled Fidel Castro: My Life, explores all the minutia of the late Cuban's unique existence. (He kept the beard because shaving costs a man ten workdays per year! He loved Hemingway!)

Though dead, Castro's mental faculties are being described as "astonishing." (How can that be?)

Related: Perez Hilton is a damaged liar.

Dec 14, 2007 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 79 Responses
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  • Comments (79)

    No. 1 queencrone says:

    Oh boy, this means that we are going to see a lot of crazies here today. And Classy over there
    is commenting to him/her self. Good Lord
    I think I need a beer.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:00 pm
    No. 2 janice says:

    It's totally possible that he communicated the whole book via Ouija board.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:00 pm
    No. 3 janice says:

    I'm with you on the beer, qc.
    Cheers.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:02 pm
    No. 4 Sugar Magnolia says:

    Dear Cord:

    I love you more than ever!

    Always ~ Sugar Mag

    ps… I will not be buying Dead Castro's book.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:02 pm
    No. 5 deimos says:

    castro isn't dead? i could have sworn he was because perez said it and he's a real reporter. ugh, i think i just threw up a little writing that sentence.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:04 pm
    No. 6 playla says:

    Fun Fact: One of my customers goes to Cuba frequently for business and he said that Castro is very much alive AND probably one of the most charismatic men he's ever met.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:05 pm
    No. 7 Sugar Magnolia says:

    Sorry playla… Perez said he's dead. I never bother with CNN anymore. When I want the real news, I always trust Perez.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:08 pm
    No. 8 queencrone says:

    Cheers Janice! It's only 9 am here in California,
    but since I'm on Mollygood time, it's noon.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:10 pm
    No. 9 playla says:

    I know, I wonder what perez' take on Mugabe's recent political victory in Zimbabwe is.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:12 pm
    No. 10 Kitchy says:

    This is probably my absolute favorite Bunnie headline/story of all time.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:14 pm
    No. 11 Trixie says:

    OMGz U guyz, Perez is the bestest. Why don't U likke him? Ur just jelozzzz.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:15 pm
    No. 12 Trixie says:

    Psyche.

    Yes, really, psyche.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:16 pm
    No. 13 Sugar Magnolia says:

    I imagine his take would involve cum dribbles and coke dots.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:16 pm
    No. 14 deimos says:

    don't forget the penis drawing sugar, it's a vital part of his reporting.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:19 pm
    No. 15 LisaNo.1 says:

    Ur all jest haterz! Perez has a real job, not like you loosers. Ha. He is smart and funny. Like any of yous are smart enuf to drawr white spotz on fazes. Not! Go be old and lonely in ur paren'ts bazement. I will say hi to ur mom at Taco Bell be4 I let you wash my car laterz. Loosers.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:22 pm
    No. 16 deimos says:

    it's scary that you're that good at that lisa.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:23 pm
    No. 17 Sugar Magnolia says:

    Shows what YOU know Lisa! It's my brother that works at Taco Bell!

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:36 pm
    No. 18 Kitchy says:

    Yeah. That's scary, Lisa.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:38 pm
    No. 19 Sugar Magnolia says:

    Scary… but funny.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:40 pm
    No. 20 blah says:

    I never noticed what horse teeth he has! Wiilllbbuuuurr!

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:45 pm
    No. 21 LisaNo.1 says:

    There is a simple formula to writing like a moron. For $9.95, now you TOO can learn the secrets to my success. Here are just a few of the revalations:

    - ALWAYS use the cognate (too = two)
    - ALWAYS spell loser, "looser." Use it liberally.
    - ALWAYS equate dislike with jealousy (preferably spelled "jealouse")
    - ALWAYS make a personal familial attack

    and many, many more! Call now, operators are standing by.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:52 pm
    No. 22 deimos says:

    9.95 is a bit much seeing as how i'm a looser with no job and my mom works at taco bell. do you have a cheaper package?

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:57 pm
    No. 23 playla says:

    yeah, lisa, can't you just come over and hit me in the head?

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 12:59 pm
    No. 24 LisaNo.1 says:

    It's is called a prohibitive cost barrier to entry. LOOK IT UP!

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:02 pm
    No. 25 deimos says:

    NO!

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:04 pm
    No. 26 jujubees says:

    I'll just wait till I can rip off Lisa's book from the internets. And come on, she's not even offering a set of free ginsu knives. Whatevs.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:04 pm
    No. 27 playla says:

    YEAH, N SHE DIDNT EVEN MENSHUN HOW U ALWAYS UZE CAPS!!!!!!

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:10 pm
    No. 28 jujubees says:

    GOOD CALL THAT'S JUST shit.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:12 pm
    No. 29 LisaNo.1 says:

    Hello! Just a FEW of the revelations. I can't share all my secrets. Unless you pay $9.95. That is just good business.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:21 pm
    No. 30 playla says:

    Okay, Lisa, but I think you need to go the post about Stella Mcartney and Heather Mills from like a month ago…
    http://www.mollygood.com/paul-...../#comments

    find a commenter named, appropriately, Classy…I think we could all learn a thing or two from her/him/it. Maybe you could hire her.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:33 pm
    No. 31 LisaNo.1 says:

    I think I have found a contributor! S/he can do the chapter on "how about"s. As in "how about you get off your fat ass and get a job." Or the ever classic, "how about you get up on stage and do what s/he did. I didn't think so." Excellent suggestion playla, but don't expect a cut.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:41 pm
    No. 32 lovelee says:

    Oh Shit Playa where was I when all that was going down. Classy is on crazy bitch

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:43 pm
    No. 33 playla says:

    It started awhile ago with Sugar Magnolia, I think, then suddenly it came back this morning…I have a theory that this is that same poster from yesterday that was obsessed with Owen Wilson and had like 4-5 aliases that all agreed completely with eachother and when I called it out (and a couple of us made up aliases of our own that magically agreed with everything WE said) it went back to its happy place…attacking fat jews like me, even though I'm lebanese but whatever, details, details.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:53 pm
    No. 34 queencrone says:

    I think that LisaNo.1 needs to get that book on Oprah's book of the month club. Then you could raise the price to like 14.99 and we could watch you on the show.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 1:59 pm
    No. 35 Sugar Magnolia says:

    I merely pointed out that keeping a thread for over a month was a little obsesive. Somehow, Classy decided that I (and everyone else) were one person changing our names.

    There is one and only one TRUE Sugar Magnolia.

    :)

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:01 pm
    No. 36 queencrone says:

    We will be expecting autographed copies.

    Also, could there be a blurb about calling folks a "cunt"?

    I love it personally when someone calls
    me a cunt. I own it. I say, Yes, I am a cunt, now you know, and you better run.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:02 pm
    No. 37 queencrone says:

    You got that right Sugar Magnolia! :-)
    (Plus you can prove it with your link.)

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:05 pm
    No. 38 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

    Yeah, Classy has been grinding that axe for a month. At least she stopped calling everybody Toots. Only European women over 55 call people that.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:05 pm
    No. 39 playla says:

    Oh, wasn't it you qc that originally raised classy's ire?

    Sugar, yeah, I know you guys had the "tiff" today…I was referring to the original one a month ago and I think, as above stated it was qc.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:05 pm
    No. 40 queencrone says:

    I am the guilty one.

    You know what is fun about this commenter community? We do the "free catch"
    thing like they do in football. If someone kicks something over to you, you can catch it and run with it, you might get tackled by the whole team.

    But if you get ready to catch it and give the "free catch" signal, then everyone has fun with it.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:10 pm
    No. 41 Sugar Magnolia says:

    Classy is just “jealouse” of my perfection playla… if that is your REAL name!

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:15 pm
    No. 42 cooter49 says:

    Good times!

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:17 pm
    No. 43 Sugar Magnolia says:

    And QC is a rabble-rouser, a malcontent, a provoker, a radical and a instigator! (And I'm proud to call her my friend.)

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:18 pm
    No. 44 jujubees says:

    Is it, Embrace your vagina, day again? I just am really angry at mine and don't even want to talk to that thing.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:18 pm
    No. 45 jujubees says:

    Oh, no. Did I miss some rabble rousing again? That's just a highlight in an otherwise bleak week. Wow, bleak week. I like how that rolls off the tongue.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:20 pm
    No. 46 Sugar Magnolia says:

    You didn't see the heather mills debacle this morning juju? She didn't start it today though… and I just happened to stoke the fires.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:24 pm
    No. 47 cooter49 says:

    somtin wrong with ya cooter?

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:25 pm
    No. 48 jujubees says:

    Nothing is wrong with it. Other than it's got a whole diva thing going with the new disco ball and all that.

    I'll have to check the thread. It's just hard since I find Heather so insane.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:31 pm
    No. 49 playlalot says:

    I just want to say that I totally agree with everything playla has to say!
    She seems really smart and it's obvious that she's got an amazingly hot body.

    All you other gals are perfectly swell, too!
    And have celullite-free asses…except you Amanda Lepore.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:35 pm
    No. 50 jujubees says:

    I CAN FIND NO MILLS DEBACLE. LINK ME UP!

    Amanda Lepores cellulite seems especially freaky for some reason.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:39 pm
    No. 51 queencrone says:

    Heehee! What can I say? I just like to give people what they want. You want to have fun?
    I'm down for that. You want some trouble?
    I can do that too. You ask for a roast beef sandwich, I ask, white, wheat or sourdough?
    I can't help it.

    I am a people pleaser.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:40 pm
    No. 52 queencrone says:

    search for stella mccartny-daddys girl.
    I can't link so I'm not that good of a people pleaser right now in this instance.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:41 pm
    No. 53 playla says:

    the link is just south of here. comment number 30

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:43 pm
    No. 55 playla says:

    no, not south, north…I hope classy doesn't see that because then she'll call me stupid and that will hurt my feelings..

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:45 pm
    No. 56 jujubees says:

    Thanks sug. Playla gave me some kind of riddle to sort out and a map of some kind. She should know by now I'm too lazy for that shit. X marks the spot.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:46 pm
    No. 57 jujubees says:

    Denied, hags

    Oops, we can't find what you're looking for
    You've reached this message because you tried to access a page that either doesn't exist or you don't have access to.
    Try returning to the homepage, or search for what you're looking for using the box below

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:47 pm
    No. 58 Tammy says: Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:51 pm
    No. 59 jujubees says:

    Classy and her weird Amy obsession is a clear sign for help. Not to mention her relentless use of, LOL. I have a picture of her laughing insanely alone in a dark room.

    Plus she totally messed with my ho, Janice. That's just go time.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:52 pm
    No. 60 Tammy says:

    I know it looks the same but it works.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 2:52 pm
    No. 61 janice says:

    So I says to Classy, I says: "BACK UP!! JUSS BACK UP! Mind your business, Classy, mind your business." And then juju came out tha back, and killed her in the face with a skillet.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:03 pm
    No. 62 jujubees says:

    That's just how we do it in the mean streets of Mollygood. Killed, right in the face.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:22 pm
    No. 63 chinchoopla says:

    You hags are so funny. I just love lurking here! I like what BB&B said. She's going to take Hater Mills' prosthetic leg and smack Classy upside the head with it.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:27 pm
    No. 64 janice says:

    Mollygood's a tough place. Legs and skillets and Classy, oh my!

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:35 pm
    No. 65 Ashley says:

    I just have to say: I read Mollygood everyday, and it's mainly because all of your comments make me laugh. I mean, Cord is neat and all, but you girls crack me up.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:37 pm
    No. 66 chinchoopla says:

    I'm changing my screen name to Toots.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:39 pm
    No. 67 LisaNo.1 says:

    Especially that LisaNo.1, she has such a refreshing perspective. And a great rack.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:44 pm
    No. 68 LisaNo.1 says:

    Mother Effer! How comes I cain't change mah names?!!!?

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:45 pm
    No. 69 LisaNo.2 says:

    Crisis Averted. Mission Accomplished.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:47 pm
    No. 70 chinchoopla says:

    Gawd! This is a lot of work! That Wilson Owen Family Guy must be working off of 4 or 5 different browsers. I'm too lazy to use anything except Safari.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:52 pm
    No. 71 Lisa#1 says:

    Chinch, may I suggest Firefox. It is more compatible with more site than Safari. Then again, for a while I couldn't view this page on either.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 3:55 pm
    No. 72 chinchoopla says:

    I'll have to download Firefox. I pulled Camino out and dusted it off. Alter egos, away!

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 4:02 pm
    No. 73 jujubees says:

    Whenever I use the mac my husbo tells me to use the camino. And I'm all, nah uhhh, I'm using the safari, as if.

    I just don't lke the looks of camino. My grandpa had a camino and it was kind of a kick ass car. Why do I hate camino so much?

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 4:12 pm
    No. 74 Lisa#1 says:

    For a while in high school, all I wanted was an El Camino or a painted in that chamelion paint. You know it looks like an oil slick. Or a chavelle. Any car that thought it was a truck would have done. Bad ass.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 4:26 pm
    No. 75 jujubees says:

    My first car was a chevette. It was brown like shit and it ran like shit too. I called it a shitvette. I'm clever like that.

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 4:36 pm
    No. 76 Mammoth says:

    I just love walking in on these conversations. Y'all are psycho (in the good way).

    Posted: Dec 14, 2007 at 5:32 pm
    No. 77 CoMeIn says:

    Dejaos ya de meteros con Castro GILIPOLLAS!!

    Posted: Dec 17, 2007 at 6:01 am
    No. 78 Denise15 says:

    FYI the Perez show on VH1 was great!!!!!! OHH and FYI, Perez will once again be at the MTV count down for New Years,…. im sure u guys heard about Perez being involved with Jingle Ball NYC Z100, and Y100 Miami…. right? u gotta love it!!! any other blogger down anything good??? ooppps, im sorry, didnt mean to bring up the failure of other "gossip bloggers"… But TMZ is right up there with success…. hahahahahahaha, Merry Xmas bitch… and maybe the News Years Resolution should be 1. to admit that u secretly love PEREZ… there is a thing line b/w love and hate??? yes?! hahahahahahhahashould be 1. to admit that u secertly love PEREZ… there is a thing line b/w love and hate??? yes?! hahahahahahhaha

    Posted: Dec 20, 2007 at 1:39 pm
    No. 79 Chip Hunt says:

    prodigiousness rheometer bevesselled prorailroad tingidae minkery opprobrium attestative
    Child soldiers freed in Sri Lanka
    http://www.cnn.com/2000/LAW/06/26/scotus.daywrap/

    Posted: Mar 24, 2008 at 3:44 pm
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