If you interrupt Kanye's concert, he will humiliate you and then get on with the show. Akon, are you taking notes?
It’s absolutely no surprise to any of us that Akon is full of shit, right? It’s just sort of crazy that the people at The Smoking Gun, which is really on a roll these days, are the first ones to officially call him on it.
With a little digging, they’ve figured out that Akon’s famed backstory — that he was in jail for 4 1/2 years for being “ringleader of a notorious car theft operation” and wrote songs, like his famous “Locked Up” while he was in jail — was false. And the name of his company, Konvict Music, was more wishful thinking than it was based in reality. In his lifetime, he has spent only a few months in county jail.
The celebs came out in droves for UMG's Grammy Celebration; among them was renowned musical genius Lindsay Lohan. Where was her Grammy? "Rumors" is still one of the most beautiful songs of all time. She spent the evening hanging out with the great influences of Hollywood at a venue that was sure to be alcohol- and drug-free.
[Source]
• I'm more confused by what "NO REAL THAN YOU ARE" could mean. [Yahoo]
• Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital to be treated for cocaine and liquor induced exhaustion. [DListed]
• Who is Olivia Munn and why was she trying to eat this hot dog like that? Eating hot dogs the regular way is life threatening enough. [HT]
• Akon will never not be a total fucking loser. Sorry, I blame it on him. [ICYDK]
• Courtney Love eats cupcakes, drugs. [Yeeeah]
• The Hoff's still got it, and he doesn't mind if you touch it. [CityRag]
It's being reported that Akon, the crooner behind the tender ballad "I Wanna Fuck You," is interested in producing Paris Hilton's rumored new album.
He says, "In my mind I was thinking now Paris Hilton is an official convict, I think I'm gonna get with her and put a record out."
"I would definitely sign her to my label 'cos she's a character. You give her the cutest record, something that's just for women, an anthem; I think it will be outta here!"
And when he says "sign" he means "fuck," and when he says "to my label" he means "on my desk."
[Source]
• The Onion wins! [BWE]
• Akon is back to violating young people, and probably his parole. [DListed]
• Megan Fox: in. Lohan et al: fuckin' out! [HT]
• Celebrities with such little imagination they go to The Ivy in London, too. [ICYDK]
• Details once again loosens up its loafers and gets gay. [Jossip]
• Stop worrying about Gigli. Affleck's a mensch. [Glitterati]
• Heigl stabbing to death all your My Father the Hero crushes. [Yeeeah]
• LaChapelle is an oracle and a gimmicky artist! [CityRag]
• Dude, she just wanted your extra time and your kiss. [DListed]
• Bruce Willis confusing "putting a price on someone's head" with "metaphor." [StarPulse]
• That's why you're not supposed to bring Dogs on flights. [Glitterati]
• Akon's mock sex partner lied, people thought it was acceptable to dry hump her. [Yeeeah]
• A literally corny Paris Hilton story. [CityRag]
• No more secrets. [ICYDK]
• Martha Stewart giving Lohan the judgmental third degree you'd expect from a matronly, bitchy ex-con. [Gawker]
• Fergie getting celebrity fit. No club. [HT]
• Marky Mark getting a handful. [ICYDK]
• Great celebrity math from BWE. [BWE]
• Would you believe that a star of Sons of Hollywood is an asshole? [IDLYITW]
• The Post has Scarlett fever! [Jossip]
• Akon says he didn't know she was 14, says she looked at least 16 and a half. [ASL]
• Bloated pig less bloated, still pig, but a well dressed and heeled pig. [Gawker]
• Here's Oprah showing off that Oscar-winning-actress skill. [BWE]
• Margaret Cho chimes in with a Korean perspective on the VA Tech shooting. [JJ]
• Whoda thunk that the man behind "I Wanna Fuck You" might be sexually aggressive? [DH]
• Maxim's still around? Just get Cinemax. [HT]
• Aguilera getting swarmed. [CityRag]
• Baldwin says his wife made him call his daughter a pig. [TMZ]
• Heather Mills with an act of foxtrot on an intercontinental flight. Where was security? [Yeeeah]
• Photoshop Awards. [ICYDK]
• America's Got Talent boots Brandy, proving that at the very least America's got common sense. [ASL]
Eminem and longtime love and muse, Kim, are reportedly engaged for a third time:
His best pal Akon, who is in London to promote his dancefloor hit I Wanna Love You, exclusively told us: "Eminem still loves Kim.
"He can't live with her, and he can't live without her. But they are meant for each other. They are engaged again."Eminem confided his feelings to Akon, 25, when they recorded Smack That, the first single of Akon's album Konvicted.
Akon went on to say that Kim was wooed back when Em showed up at her house in a trench coat, held a boom box above his head and blasted "Kim," the song he had written specifically for her. As Akon remembers, "By the time it got to the part when Em's screaming 'Bleed, bitch, bleed!, Kim was already in his arms." Awwwwwwwwww!
[Source]
Tara Reid's publicist got lazy following her most recent minor victories, and he foolishly let down his guard last night at Sundance. Next thing you know, it's the bad publicity nuke: "Hey, isn't that Tara Reid on stage getting dry humped by all the rappers?" Uh oh!
Nelly hosted the Budweiser Blender session at Tao and brought in a special performance by Akon. Akon rocked the crowd and even brought up three ladies from the audience to teach the crowd how to really “Smack That.”
Moments later, they stopped the song and Tara Reid was being led on stage by Nelly. Nelly asked Tara if she wanted to get the smack down from Akon. Tara kindly obliged and immediately began dancing to Akon. At the point, Akon grabbed her and literally humped her in front of hundreds of partygoers and continuously smacked her booty.
As Akon was humping her, his DJ thought he’d join in on the fun and they both sandwiched her while still humping and smacking her booty.
Dear Tara Reid's Publicist,
It's pretty obvious she can't be trusted. You need to go third-grade-style buddy system. Hand holding everywhere and waiting for her outside of the bathroom.
Best,
Cord
[Source]
Editor
