As you'll recall, this year's Grand Theft Auto IV: Liberty City was a huge, violent, crime-ridden success, much like the town on which it's based: New Yawk. So, in today's creatively bankrupt Hollywood, it was only a matter of time until someone started talking about a movie based on the title.

Because we'd like to get our hands on some of the bloody lucre that digital hooker-kicking has amassed, we've taken the liberty of casting the possible Liberty City movie. Thank us – with a lucrative back-end deal – when it's a hit.

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During last night's BET awards, Alicia Keys reintroduced the youth of America to three amazing girl groups: SWV, En Vogue and TLC. Some of the ladies still have it and others (SWV, we're looking at you) do not. But even at their worst, all of these groups put The Pussycat Dolls to shame.

Let me preface this by saying that I love Gavin DeGraw with all my heart. He is my all-time favorite artist in the world, and he is one of the few people (see also: Lance Bass) for whom I would torture myself in this inhumane manner.

I got an e-mail a few nights ago alerting me to the fact that Gavin would be taping a TRL appearance Monday at 10 a.m. (Don't even get me started on the fact that TRL is no longer "live.") Naturally, I signed up right away and spent the days leading up to the show mentally preparing for the screaming teenagers I would encounter. Unfortunately, no amount of preparation could ready me for the hell that was outside the MTV studios.

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There goes our Alicia Keys crush:

… KEYS has bizarrely claimed the US government invented ‘gangsta rap’ to convince black people to kill each other.

Keys, 27, said the violent hip-hop style was an anti-black conspiracy. The American, who has sold 25 million albums worldwide, believes the government encouraged the 1990s murders of rappers TUPAC SHAKUR and NOTORIOUS B.I.G.

She told a magazine: “The murders were fuelled to stop a great black leader from existing.”

• Here's the song that's convincing impulsive hipsters to part with thousands of dollars for a computer that won't even play a CD!!!!!!!!! [Queerty]

• Bigotry thrives again in Mississippi. [DListed]

• Britney Spears' dad now temporarily controls all her assets. She is 26. [PS]

• Kirsten Dunst is now also on the verge of a breakdown. Would you please remind us why people want to be famous? [Yeeeah]

• Fact: Alicia Keys is the most underrated beauty in entertainment. [INO]

• Lindsay Lohan's in traffic school! Hellooooooo, sitcom writers? Are you listening? Something for after the strike. [ICYDK]

• We're skeptical about the benefits of aerobic striptease. Sorry, but it seems ridiculous. Prove us wrong. [HT]

• Interspecies love connections. Cutest link ever! [CityRag]

• Scared yet: "The economy lost 17,000 jobs in January, the Labor Department reported on Friday, the first monthly decline in four years and the most striking evidence yet that the United States may be slipping into a recession." [NYT]

• Food for thought on Super Bowl weekend. [Jezebel]

Holy cluster fuck, Pap Man!

I haven't seen such a hodge podge of celebrities since May of 1988: the last Battle of The Network Stars. Last night's post-VMA party at TAO wasn't a battle, but there may have been some casualties.

See what happens when Jermaine Dupri, Nelly and Travis Barker are picked to host an MTV party and celebrities stop being polite - and start getting drunk.

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Kid Rock punched Tommy Lee in the face during the MTV Video Music Awards ceremony last evening, prompting a minor scuffle that ended with both men being escorted by security guards from the event. Presumably the fight had something to do with Pamela Anderson, an ex-lover of both men, who had taken the stage to introduce Alicia Keys immediately before the fight broke out. Still no word as to why the security team didn't let the idiots kill each other.

[Source]

Besides being a gallows for Britney Spears to hang herself – for now, just figuratively – last night's MTV Video Music Awards also proved to be a boring, insipid and massive forum for rewarding mediocrity. In short, Miss Teen South Carolina was there. Bravo, MTV!

After the jump, many, many more.

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The worst joke in that torturous one-trick pony Zoolander ("OK, I get it—he's stupid.") was Blue Steel. Aside from being not funny, "the signature look" thing was repetitive and completely absurd. That is, until I saw this photo, which makes me think that people actually do have signature looks. And just like that, dry bit becomes sad, surreal reality.

More signature looks under here.

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Vanity Fair's July issue, an Africa-themed edition guest-edited by Bono, will feature 20 different star-studded cover photos taken by Annie Liebovitz. The goal of the shoot, Bono said, was to "bring some sex appeal to the idea of wanting to change the world." Here's a thought, Bono: try bringing some money to the idea of wanting to change the world.

To be sure, what this whole pitiful—surely catered—charade amounts to is nothing more than rich people with the best of intentions exerting very little effort in the hopes that it will make a difference. But despite their aspirations, the fact is that this gesture will probably prove to be relatively meaningless.

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Whoa! Right after wanting to fly the friendly, vintage skies with Paris, I get kicked in the eyes so hard by this Guardian Panther (Black Angel sounded racist) that it makes me rethink my lust for atavistic chic.

Granted, Alicia's much prettier and more talented than Paris, but the beret is to accessories what overalls are to general clothing; practically nobody can pull them off because they're both so dependent on context. To really do the beret you've got to be in France, kinda tipsy off red and taking fun photos with your friends. When all that you're doing is waiting on the world to change at a John Mayer concert, it's really hard to pull off.

• Factory pants look different than regular pants. [Egotastic]

• I'm going to try to ignore this bit of information and still crush on Alicia Keys. [INO]

• Nic Cage. Just look. [DListed]

• Mike Myers' version of Borat, and you can only see it in New York. Sorry, Tennessee. [CityRag]

• I'm not surprised she's still complaining. But I am surprised Tyra types "y'all" when addressing fans. [HT]

• Harry Potter getting pretty close to exposing his wand. [IDLYITW]
•

• Federline turned down 25 mill that would have forced him out of his kid's lives for good. Dude turned it down. Are you ready to admit that he's a decent guy? Or do you think he's just holding out for more? [TMZ]

• A pretty frightening, educated estimation that civilization's got only a 50 percent chance of reaching 2100. [NYT]

blows some cool smoke rings until it makes the very un-cool mistake of overstaying its welcome

Now, is that referring to the movie Smokin' Aces, or the party for its premiere? Well, technically speaking, that's how Variety describes the movie. It'd be hard to say as much for the party, where the likes of Alicia Keys, Ben Affleck, Andy Garcia, Common, and Chris Rock showed up at the Roosevelt to celebrate the flick starring those first three. Wherever stars Ray Liotta's snarl and Ryan Reynolds' six pack were, were, perhaps we'll never know. But wasn't it Ryan's ex Alanis Morissette who always told us that we "oughta know"? Damn that woman and her incomprehensible lyrics!

• Get off their lawn, kids. [JustJared]

• Listen guys, Travis Barker really didn't want to have to tell everyone in the wolrd this, but he was totally forced, and, well, Shanna is a lying cheating whorebag. Oh, and a horrible mother. [US Weekly]

• Nick Lachey thinks people's fascination with his life is "surreal," ya know, cause it's not like he had anything to do with the public knowing what goes on with his everyday shit. [A Socialite's Life]

• Victoria Beckham might be pregnant again, meaning she may double her body weight in the next eight months. [DListed]

• Waiting a year to have sex is important to Alicia Keys, especially when, after all that time, she still refers to it as being "violated." [WWTDD]

• Little did you know that Cory Haim barters using only punches in the mouth these days. [Junkiness]

• Nicole Richie carried around that prop pizza all day, and apparently it left her with little time to fix that camel toe situation. [BWE]

• No more weddings, Pam and Kid are settling down in Malibu. Which is good, because I'm not sure Pam would be let on a plane with those things these days. [Teddy & Moo]

Looks like someone didn't get the neutral colors memo, Janet.

Last night all these fashion-conscious beauties played it lame, I mean safe, at the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) Awards. Maybe they're just so sick of being noticed that they wanted to camoflauge into the backdrop. If so, success! Even Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan, whose red carpet photos from the event were posted here earlier, stayed away from colors (though not from daring cuts and styles). If these dresses are any indication, I assume the event was as fun as a barrel of monkeys.

On another note, doesn't Scarlett Johansson look like Geena Davis in this picture, and not in a particularly good way? Yikes.