THAT WAS QUICK "'American Gladiators' stumbled in its return to NBC, while 'House' led Fox to a nightly win Monday. After a strong run during the writers' strike, 'Gladiators' returned to NBC's schedule with an average of 4.9 million viewers and a 1.9 rating/5 share among adults 18 to 49, logging its lowest original rating and finishing a distant third in the 8-10 p.m. time period."

Are you tired of seeing people eat hog shit for money? Forbes says you are:

The genre … has long been reliant on controversy to draw in viewers. Whether it’s gross-out gimmickry (NBC’s Fear Factor) or make-over sensationalism (Fox’s The Swan), the fare has set out to garner publicity and a subsequent viewer base. But if recent history is any indication, the strategy may be fading as a tool for grabbing eyeballs.

Of course, as mainstream media is wont to do, Forbes is ignoring a very obvious counterpoint to its argument: A show in which big people pelt little people with tennis ball cannons is the highest-rated new series of the season. It sounds like "gimmickry" and "sensationalism" are the new gimmickry and sensationalism.

NBC executives may have been juiced over American Gladiators’ stellar debut, but the gladiators themselves were all natural. That’s because NBC Universal subjected the gladiators to steroid testing before they could appear on the show.

The 12 cast members were tested as part of their medical examinations and then required to sign a document saying that they were clean and that they could be tested at any time.

Because what fun is watching a man hurl giant sandbags at opponents clinging to precarious rope bridges if there is a possibility that that man is playing dirty?

Militia, one of America's newest ethnic Gladiators, is apparently well-versed in tussling with other toned men, as he was once a model for gay pornographers Colt Studios.

One fun fact that should keep your eyes situated on his spandex singlet: 11"!

Rejoice: American Gladiators is back! How we've missed the only show in television history to perfectly blend T & A, the ER and sticks.

In honor of the new batch of androgynous warriors filling out Gladiators' ranks – their jutting, indistinct masses thinly sheathed in spandex – we've created a quiz of their body parts. Your job is to guess the gender of the owner of each part. Good luck.

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