• Best “Afternoon Aural” in a long time. [Queerty]

• Heather Mills will be a contestant on next season’s Celebrity Apprentice. Because a $50 million divorce settlement can’t buy a person the common sense to not be on a reality show. [DListed]

• When in Rome, film commercials you’d be embarrassed to film in America. [PS]

• “There was a definite shift in my life when I decided to [dye my hair red].” Amy Adams, an actress, actually said that. [INO]

• Ashton Kutcher says he is not opposed to adopting a child. We certainly hope adoption agencies are opposed to letting Ashton Kutcher adopt a child. [ICYDK]

• Teeny-tiny girls in high heels! Thanks, Beyonce, you maniac. [Yeeeah]

• Mickey Rourke has a posse. [CityRag]