Yeah, I'm still watching The Hills. Despite telling everyone it's for work, I know I am completely addicted. It gets worse — and less realistic — by the episode, which sends me into a blind rage in which I am forced to remind myself that my time would be better spent watching milk curdle, but I always come back for more.
So on last night's episode, Heidi's sister Holly (whom Spencer kicked out of the couple's apartment) decided to crash at Lauren and Lo's house after Audrina moved out. Shocking, right? Except a few of our genius readers totally predicted it. But I couldn't even let my mind shut off during the episode because I was so damn confused by the timeline. CONTINUED »
Good news, everyone! The Hills is coming back for a fifth season! Audrina Patridge confirmed the information to People, and if you're not sold on even more episodes of the "reality" show, just listen to her riveting argument:
At one point, all of us were like, 'No, we don't want to do another season.' I wanted to do more movies, and Whitney moved to New York and she's doing her own spin-off. … We have fun with each other and we've stuck it out this long. We might as well do another one.
Look, nobody loves The Hills more than I do, but even I can admit that it's time to throw in the towel. Nobody cares anymore and the girls are clearly starting to hate each other. This is only going to end badly.
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• Who wants to look like Victoria Beckham? Anyone? … Anyone? [ICYDK]
• What cats do while their owners are sleeping. [CityRag]
• Britney Spears doesn't have to shave her armpits, but she also doesn't have to raise her arms over her head in front of photographers. [Yeeeah]
• The Brangelina army will be adding more soldiers in the near future. [DListed]
• Heath Ledger's ex Michelle Williams steps out with her new boyfriend, Spike Jonze. Good for her. [INO]
• Audrina Patridge seems to have forgiven ex Justin Bobby for "hooking up" (but not really) with her former BFF Lauren Conrad. Naturally, she's still pissed at LC. [PS]
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• Lindsay Lohan is a fan of the creepy Sarah Palin Halloween mask. Is Samantha Ronson going to dress up as a wolf? [Yeeeah]
• Eva Longoria says she's still a size 0, even though she got "fat." [ICYDK]
• Even when he's doing good deeds, Justin Timberlake comes across as a d-bag. [PS]
• Johnny Depp is Cosmopolitan's sexiest man alive, followed by George Clooney and … Jake Gyllenhaal? [INO]
• Amy Winehouse is now making coke-infused cotton candy. Good to see she's using her time wisely. [DListed]
• Innocent little Audrina Patridge is desperately trying to extend her 15 minutes of fame. [HT]
• There's nothing better than LOLCats. [CityRag]
• Lauren, Lo and Audrina all went to an LA nightclub together. This might be exciting for all two of you who have been keeping up with the LC-Audrina feud. [ICYDK]
• Hugh Hefner's new girlfriends have a criminal past. Raise your hand if you're surprised. [DListed]
• Eva Mendes has some harsh words for Jennifer Lopez. J.Lo's going to be pissed. [INO]
• Britney Spears makes us sad when she says things like this: "You’re guarded. You have to be that way, so I’m kind of stuck in this place and it’s like: How do you deal? And you just cope, and that’s what I do. I just cope with it, every day." [Yeeeah]
• Don't worry, everyone: Leonardo DiCaprio's might have saved his relationship with Bar Rafaeli. Because Leo being back on the market would just be terrible. [PS]
• Remember the guy who let his girlfriend live on the toilet for two years? Well, he won the lottery. Of course. [DListed]
• Why is Audrina Patridge's hand a different color than the rest of her body? [ICYDK]
• Lindsay Lohan doesn't understand the concept of wearing a bra. That's OK — baby steps. [Yeeeah]
• Cameron Diaz says she's a spoiled brat. At least she's honest. [INO]
• Birds pooping on David and Victoria Beckham. This makes us happier than it should. [CityRag]
• Dear George Clooney, please lose the mustache. XOXO. [PS]
We would like to start out by apologizing to Ted Casablanca for insinuating that he made up a ridiculous rumor about Lauren Conrad hooking up with former BFF Audrina Patridge's on-again hobo boyfriend Justin Bobby. Turns out Ted didn't start the fire — it was Spencer Pratt. We should have seen that one coming.
On Friday we blew off the entire story, insisting that it was so ridiculous nobody could take it seriously. Soon after, both Audrina and Lauren issued statements — Audrina claiming that she's "not sure what to believe" and "these rumors are very confusing and hurtful" while Lauren insisted she would "never hurt a friend like that." For the record, we believe Lauren. No way would she hook up with JB.
Lauren also went on to confirm that Spencer was likely behind the story — much like he was behind her nonexistent sex tape from last year: "Hmmmmmm. I wonder who it could be? I'm baffled….What kind of person would enjoy watching blogs and the press tear me apart?" Naturally, Spencer had something to say. And it was delusional and ugly. CONTINUED »
• Angelina Jolie has two new tattoos. Alert the media! [PS]
• Guess which two Hills idiots are hanging out again. [HT]
• Amy Winehouse's nose is falling off, but we'd say that's the least of her worries. [Yeeeah]
• Tom Cruise is a decent human being sometimes. Crazy, but decent. [INO]
• Speaking of Tom: He's working baby Suri to the bone, poor thing. [DListed]
• Fashion Week continues to make us scared and confused. Is that lady wearing pantyhose on her head? Is her body backwards? Nobody knows. [ICYDK]
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Time to distract ourselves from the sad state of America yet again: There's a Hills love triangle! Way more important than that stupid bailout.
So Audrina moved out of the house she shared with Lauren and Lo, and nobody really knew why, but A and LC insisted they were still on good terms. Enter Ted Casablanca, quite possibly the world's worst gossip, who decided to spin a tale of Audrina and Lauren fighting over the same man. Believable enough … until he decided to make the Casanova none other than Justin Bobby, the knowledgeable hobo who occasionally creeps onto the show and pretends to like Audrina for some camera time. We love him because he regularly spits out nuggets of wisdom like, "Truth and time tells all." Lauren, however, does not enjoy him.
Ted, who is much like a child making up a bedtime story, said that Lauren and Justin Bobby hooked up behind Audrina's back, but JB later spilled the beans while LC denied it. Don't believe Ted? Here's proof: The girls removed each other from their MySpace top friends. Gasp!
Oh wait, hold the phone: Ted just changed his mind: CONTINUED »
• Because we can't resist adorable animals. [DListed]
• The Brangelina clan has descended upon NYC. Everyone stock up on bottled water and batteries. [PS]
• Something's wrong with Jessica Simpson, besides the usual. [HT]
• Shia LaBeouf injured himself again. This kid has really bad luck. [INO]
• Can we please discuss how cute this celebrity child is? [ICYDK]
• Audrina Patridge's side boob. It's a slow news day. [Yeeeah]
Audrina Patridge, the Hills hanger-on whose eyes are constantly looking up in the sky, is reportedly moving out of the house she shares with co-stars Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth — moving trucks were even spotted in front of her guest house Thursday. Rumors started flying that MTV planned to give Audrina a spin-off in light of news she was cast in the upcoming horror flick Sorority Row, but thankfully those were untrue.
But this still leaves us with an empty guesthouse in The Hills' main residence, so we've decided to play a game: Who should take Audrina's place? (Our votes: Justin Bobby or Kelly Cutrone.)
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• Lily Allen has been taking cues from Amy Winehouse. [ICYDK]
• Jennifer Lopez doesn't understand why Michael Phelps is getting more attention than her. [Yeeeah]
• Victoria Beckham is offended by accusations that she takes diet pills. Would it be better for us to assume she simply doesn't eat? [INO]
• Lance Bass will show up at any birthday party if there's cameras involved. [DListed]
• People only care about Audrina Patridge if she's wearing a swimsuit. [HT]
• Ashlee Simpson would make a cute pregnant person if she would just take off that stupid hat every once in a while. [PS]
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So in case you haven't heard, tonight is the season four premiere of MTV "reality" hit The Hills. Over the last three seasons it's become fairly obvious that there's rarely anything real about the show except for Spencer and Heidi's douchiness, so we've compiled our five favorite fake moments in the history of The Hills. Feel free to add your own if they didn't make the cut.
There are a few things we are able to gather from the latest trailer for The Hills' fourth season: First of all, a lot of the drama has been kept under wraps this time around, meaning the cast is getting better at keeping their mouths shut or the public has simply lost interest. Also, the cast seems to expand every season, and we have a feeling it's not because Lauren and Audrina are simply attracting lots of friends. This show has turned into a famewhoring free-for-all. Oh, and Heidi and Spencer still suck.
• Who inspires you to Rock the Vote: Christina or Madonna (or neither)? [PS]
• This is going to end well: Milo Ventimiglia is planning to propose to 18-year-old Hayden Panettiere. [INO]
• Matthew McConaughey's nephew, Miller Lite, leads a sad, sad childhood. [DListed]
• Everyone can rest easy: The great romance of the century, between Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox, is still alive. [Yeeeah]
• We still have a girl crush on Carrie Underwood. [HT]
• Audrina Patridge gets paid $5,000 an hour (plus free booze) to hang out at clubs. Life's not fair. [ICYDK]
BOOBS OBSESSING OVER THE BOOBS OF BOOBS "Jessica Simpson, who was slammed this week by Pamela Anderson for wearing a T-shirt that said 'Real Girls Eat Meat,' has gotten her revenge on the former 'Baywatch' babe by beating her to the top spot in InTouch Weekly’s 2008 Best Breast poll. Simpson’s chest was followed closely by that of Tyra Banks, Scarlett Johansson, Carmen Electra, Lindsay Lohan and Katherine Heigl. Audrina Patridge’s very own 'Hills' earned seventh spot with Jennifer Aniston, Megan Fox and Beyonce Knowles rounding out the Top 10."
Despite a recent photo shoot gone wrong, Hills frenemies Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad stepped out and took a united stand in the name of alcohol last night at LA's Crown Bar.
Across town, Stephanie Pratt was blabbing to Us Weekly about the feud in which she is not involved, saying she doesn't think everything is OK between the two roommates: "But I'm sure they will work it out — they have been best friends for so long." Just like LC and Heidi, right?
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DRAMA QUEENS "After [Lauren Conrad] came home last week to find a weekly mag doing a photo shoot with Audrina [Patridge] in the house they share, the claws were out! Our spies say Lauren threw the hissy (stomping, the works) because she'd already promised exclusive pics of the backyard to another mag. Never mind that Audrina pays rent to her and had gotten the OK from LC's rep who, apparently, forget to clue their client in."
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