Britney Spears is rapidly attempting to get her career back on track, what with the promise of a new album and her recent stints on How I Met Your Mother — but news that Quentin Tarantino has cast her as a lesbian killer in his next film, a remake of 1965's Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, is a bit of a surprise. Brit's potential role is that of stripper Varla, who murders a man with her bare hands and then takes his girlfriend hostage. Oh, and there's sex scenes with another female. Of course.

Quentin reportedly thinks "Britney will be brilliant," which would perhaps be the slightest bit believable if Crossroads hadn't already exposed the pop star's lack of acting chops. For those who need a reminder and want to watch scenes from the worst movie ever, click through.

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On the season finale of Living Lohan, Ali showed off her terrible acting skills at an audition for some movie involving trolls. Unbeknownst to her and Dina, however, is the teensy little fact that the director, Peter Davy, used to work in the porn industry and is responsible for such classy films as Voodoo Lust and Dreams in the Forbidden Zone. Dina reportedly "went nuclear" when she heard about Pete's former profession — but we highly doubt that would have stopped her from pimping out Ali for a leading movie role.

Click through for the video and Peter's creepy vibe.

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We weren't even aware Repo! The Genetic Opera was actually going to the movie theaters, but some quick research confirms it's still set to release in November. If anyone actually has a desire to see Paris Hilton sing and act, save yourself $8 and just watch the clip above. And then you should probably look into seeing a therapist.

Pete Wentz's latest venture, FNMTV, was tainted by Ashlee Simpson and Snoop Dogg in a hilarious sketch where Snoop gives the couple parenting tips. Oh, did we say "hilarious"? We meant "uncomfortable." Or, you know, any other adjective that comes to mind when you think of a root canal.

Are you ready for the worst 30 seconds of your life? Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt and Pete Wentz teamed up to shoot a commercial for some new Friday Night MTV thing (called F N MTV), but for the first few seconds we thought we really were watching an episode of The Hills. If this is the couple "acting," then that should clear up any confusion in the minds of the slower MTV viewers as to whether or not the Speidi relationship is authentic.

STRAIGHT TO DVD "[Audrina Patridge] confirmed on Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio show Thursday that she landed a part in an upcoming film. … Patridge said she'll play 'the girlfriend of this cocky guy who think he's the s–t … and I kind of have him wrapped around my fingers. It's cool.'"

Mariah Carey's new music video for "Bye Bye" has been released, so now the entire world gets to see the beginnings of her relationship with new husband Nick Cannon. It's probably more touching if you can sit through the scenes where Mariah "cries," and by that I mean she just wipes her face repeatedly in hopes of inspiring a tear; unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?) for me, I couldn't make it past the first 30 seconds, so feel free to review it yourself.