Clips from the Britney: For the Record documentary are being leaked on YouTube, prompting Perez Hilton to be all, "EXCLUSIVE!!! WE CAN REVEAL EXCLUSIVELY THAT BRITNEY SAID THIS!!!" even though it's all over the Internets. Anyhoo, there's a big fuss over Brit's admission that she probably married Kevin Federline for less-than-ideal reasons. Gasp!

This earth-shattering revelation overshadows the clips of Brit recording "Womanizer" in the studio — and she sounds just slightly less tone deaf than The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim. It's a good thing she's a pro at lip-syncing.

So we're pretty fascinated by Kim, the resident singer on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Of course, we use the term "singer" pretty loosely, because this woman can't carry a tune to save her life. No, seriously. My dog can sing in a more pleasant manner than Kim. If you need proof, remember that painful trip Kim took to a recording studio, where she created the No. 1 hit "There's a Tyrone Between Me and You"? And if your ears aren't bleeding yet, check out the clip (at left) of Kim traumatizing NYC karaoke bar patrons.

Lesson: Everyone has a gift. Some are better than others.

Washed-up has-been Vanilla Ice has fallen so, so far. Yet, when he promised to show up at a bar down the street from my apartment, I couldn't help but make an appearance to check out the inevitable circus show. Hundreds of other sad drunks were in attendance, so here's my findings of the type of person it takes to show up at a Vanilla Ice event:

CONTINUED »

The great thing about all these Real Housewives series is that every city is home to a different breed of women. The Orange County ladies are botoxed and over-tanned into an orange oblivion, the New York City women are sophisticated and pretentious beyond belief — but the Atlanta housewives are truly glorious specimens to behold.

In the clip above, meet one of the delusional stars, Kim (not Anderson Cooper's favorite, NeNe, unfortunately), who genuinely thinks she is meant to be a professional singer. We can't say much more than that — just watch the scene and cover your ears.

A sampling of the playlist at last night's Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee party:

• "We Are the Champions"

• "Celebration"

• "Let's Go Crazy"

• "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough"

• "Born in the USA"

• "Movin' on Up (The Jeffersons theme)"

• "Gettin' Jiggy wit It"

Dina Lohan has displayed plenty of bad judgment in the past: She married Michael Lohan, the crazy famewhore who likely puts the latest issue of OK! magazine next to the Bible on his nightstand; she steered daughter Lindsay down the worst path possible, which led to arrests and multiple stints in rehab; then she paraded her youngest daughter, Ali, on reality television in an effort to score a record deal. It's quite sad, actually.

To aid her latest project, Dina went to the media with claims that music manager Johnny Wright is desperate to steer Ali's career, much like he has done with Justin Timberlake and the Jonas Brothers. Dina's rep issued a statement saying she was "interested and would take the meeting" with Wright. One problem: Johnny hates her guts and has no problem admitting it.

His rebuttal (Sherri Shepherd's word of the day) after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Paris Hilton, the original reality TV queen of bad music, released a new single on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, where bogus artists go to debut their latest travesties. The song, titled "My BFF," is basically another way to hawk her terrible new reality show, which we will be watching only for the good of Reality Bytes (and to warn our dear readers of the monstrosities we will surely face).

Interested in how terrible the new song is? You can listen here or just sample some of the genius lyrics:

Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)
Could you be the one I neeeeeed? (My best friend)
All of my life, don't you know I've been waitiiiiiing (For a best friend)
Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)

Yep, it's that bad.

[Source]

For those of you wondering what Miley Cyrus' new boyfriend, Justin Gaston, is like, here's a lovely clip of the underwear model attempting to launch his singing career via YouTube. The problem is, he should never open his mouth. To further prove this point, he starts out the clip with some nonsensical mumblings about how he's in LA and it's cloudy and that's why he's pointing outside and OH DEAR XENU why is this guy allowed on the Internet? Shouldn't he be off somewhere looking pretty?

Say hello to Miley Cyrus' new boyfriend and church buddy, Justin Gaston. Justin is the ripe age of 20 while Miley is a mere 15 years old, but age is just a number, right? This strapping young lad was on Nashville Star, where he looked good but sang horribly (proof here). But that's not his day job, which you can click through to admire (slightly NSFW).

CONTINUED »

Heidi Montag isn't a typical singer in that she can't sing in any way, shape or form, she doesn't tour the country with her music and she feels the urge to release a new single every few days. The latest is titled "Party's Wherever I Am," which we can only assume is another song about Christianity and Jesus. It's gotten to the point now where we can listen to an entire Heidi song without feeling the urge to stab our eardrums — it's like our body has developed a defense mechanism in which it tunes out the "music" and makes us numb inside. This can't be good.

Deafen your children, dutiful parents! Jessica Simpson's new album is upon us, and boy is it terrible. Hahaha; just kidding. We'd rather have dental work done with sharpened chicken bones than listen to modern country music – yes, even Rascally Fats or whatever – so we have no idea how Do You Know sounds. (Maybe it's like Bowie!)

We can tell you that the last track is a duet between Simpson and Dolly Parton, which saddens us greatly. Oh, Dolly, what have you done?

Listen for yourself here.

Remember yesterday when we were perplexed over the new Heidi Montag video? Someone with too much time on their hands matched up the video and audio, so now every American can exercise his or her right to watch a horribly-produced clip of a horse marching around in spandex. Our reaction to the masterpiece is similar to the guy at right, which disproves Spencer and Heidi's argument that the last video sucked because they didn't put any money or effort into it.

After the jump: Four minutes' worth of vomit-inducing madness.

CONTINUED »

OK, so Heidi Montag just released her new music video, "Overdosin," for our enjoyment, but there's something wrong with the clip. And not just the usual "I think Heidi is mentally unstable" stuff — the audio and video are completely off. The tape lasts over 10 minutes but the song is only three (yes, we sat and regrettably listened to the entire song), and the whole thing is in major slow motion. This makes our head hurt, and we shouldn't ever put this much thought into a Heidi Montag creation, but everybody else was acting like this was no big deal. Which, compared to that "Higher" monstrosity, it's a small issue.

Heidi Montag chose the monstrosity "Overdosin" to be her newest video-worthy single, but unfortunately she and Spencer Pratt actually put some money into this production. That means no flopping around awkwardly on a random beach — but not to worry, because this video is sure to be just as offensive.

Also: It's good to see Heidi has been taking dance lessons from Madonna. As Madge says, you can never have too much crotch.

Too much time has passed since Heidi Montag's latest assault on music, and luckily for us the "singer" decided to release a new single just in time for tonight's season premiere of The Hills. The new song is called "Overdosin" and makes us want to follow the title's lead. Between this and that other travesty, "One More Drink," we're a little confused as to what Heidi is trying to tell us. We can only hope it involves some sort of death — and yes, we are aware that it's unfortunate how this famewhore has driven us to wishing that upon a person.

• Jessica Simpson attempts her best "sexy" face. [HT]

• "Ali Lohan is ready to follow in big sis Lindsay's musical footsteps" is not a compliment, Ali. Sorry. [INO]

• What the hell happened to Jake Gyllenhaal? [ICYDK]

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got matching tattoos, because that's what BFFs do. [Yeeeah]

• Sacha Baron Cohen's daughter: A mini-Borat. [PS]

• The next classic Hollywood has decided to destroy: The Witches of Eastwick. We give up. [DListed]

Here's the music video for Ali Lohan's "All the Way Around." Some creative genius decided that the 14-year-old brat wasn't worth a big-budget set, so instead we're treated to a bunch of clips from Living Lohan. The reality show was bad enough the first time around, but now that it's set to this travesty of a song it's officially unbearable.

The greatest Internet-related threat to our children is not sexual predators — it's YouTube. There's just so many things wrong with this clip, which features an 11-year-old belting out Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body," that we don't even know where to begin. The kid's also got an official MySpace page, which confirms our suspicions that the parents either aren't paying any attention to him at all or they're banking on him to become the family cash cow.

Either way, it's disturbing.