Maxim held its Hot 100 party last night in LA, which played host to many horny males hoping to score with desperate women. This event would have been the perfect time to lock everyone in and save the rest of the world from STDs.
After the jump: More pictures of "hot" people than you could ever ask for. CONTINUED »
Last night was the LA premiere of What Happens In Vegas, and Bai Ling decided it would be appropriate to show up in an outfit that might happen in your grandmother's attic.
[Source]
Chinese import Bai Ling says her recent arrest in a Los Angeles airport for shoplifting was just a misunderstanding. According to the exotic powder keg, she didn't mean to steal $16 worth of batteries and magazines, it just looked like she did when she picked them up and walked out of a store with them while using her cell phone. "Then the police come. All the lights," Ling told PageSix.com, sounding like a caricature, "And they took me. I had no intention to take." The DA agreed with Ling's version and reduced her charge to an infraction, the consequence for which is a $250 fine.
It has nevertheless been a trying time for BLing. Thankfully, matronly Englishwoman Helen Mirren helped her young friend cope with the pain of this damnable shoplifting mix-up while on the set of their new film, Love Ranch: "Helen Mirren just came to me, and held my hand, she said, 'Bai Ling, we understand. Use this for the film.'"
In Love Ranch, Ling plays a top-earning prostitute.
Bubbly madperson Bai Ling is blaming her recent arrest at an LA airport on an emotionally unstable mindset precipitated by a breakup. Ling says the stress of splitting with her new boyfriend just before Valentine's Day left a wound in her soul that could only be healed with stolen goods valued at $16. Unfeeling police arrested her brokenhearted ass anyway.
Upon being released on her own recognizance, Ling took to her blog to explain her predicament in the most meandering and oblique way possible:
Delayed the flight, [wandering] again in the airport like a ghost, why can't I just be the sun smile?…Life is a sad song sometime but still sings the beauty for their loved ones…
OH!
WERE THE TABLOIDS THAT IMPORTANT? "[Bai Ling] was arrested at LAX yesterday for allegedly shoplifting two celeb magazines and a pack of batteries from one of the terminal stores."
Travis Barker, shown here with on-again, off-again (on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again) girlfriend (wife?) Shanna Moakler, hosted a party last night to celebrate the opening of his store The Fast Life. One must imagine that when he's not spending 30 minutes on his hair—or sitting around for hours getting tattooed—is when Travis lives his "fast life."
Several more after the jump.
CONTINUED »
If you and your friends are lucky enough to be there and drunk, this is the type of thing inside joke dreams are made of.
It's the first day of the Sundance Film Festival and the photos breaking from the event make it look like a cold and bland assortment of actors with nothing better to do. So far we've got Wilmer Valderamma, James Van Der Beek, Bai Ling, John Malkovich and Winona Ryder. Weird, right? I just reread that list and I crinkled my nose up like, "What the fuck? Bai Ling dancing? Where's Julia Roberts in a parka? Where's Maddox making snow angels? And what the fuck does Bai Ling do, anyway?"
I'm assuming major players arrive fashionably late, and I wish these pictures were better/funnier/famous-er, but they're not.
• Bai Ling's wardrobe is specially made. By insane people. [DListed]
• Lindsay's dad knows the real cause of his daughter's difficult life: Ugg boots. [Jossip]
• Sure, Victoria Beckham's ass looked like that, about 90 lbs ago. [US Weekly]
• Ashton Kutcher is happy to be Demi Moore's Murse. And Moormat. And Mitch. [PopSugar]
• Adrian Brody takes his bag of bones for a bike ride, but none of that wimpy Lance/Jake/Matt shit. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Sounds like Dane Cook made everyone pret-ty uncomforatable at the Teen Choice Awards, and if you missed it, now he can make you squirm too. [BWE]
• Some members of the Hip Hop community say "thanks, but no thanks" to the gift of K-Fed. [Celebitchy]
• Today for Avril: Sc00ter B0i. Tomorrow: S3gway B0i. [X17]
• There is no discernable reason why you shuld be able to see Bai Ling's crotch from the front while she is just wearing a jean skirt. [Splash]
• Christina wants to work with Bjork, the two of whose combined weight is probably 140 lbs. [OAN]
• …Which is about a trillion times better than working more with Paris' lapdog Scott Storch, with whom Xtina is in a full-on fued. [A Socialite's Life]
• Maybe Jennifer Garner didn't collapse from the heat after all. [Glitterati]
• The men in Britney's life: Always a class act. [People]
• Keanu Reeves better be careful that Winona Ryder doesn't shoplift his heart. [IDLYITW]
• An arrest made in the JonBenet Ramsey case?!? Or, not. [DListed]
• Jennifer Aniston and Kate Hudson are fast friends following Kate's break up. This wouldn't be because of Owen and Vince now, would it ladies? [Faded Youth]
• Is it bad that I didn't really realize Gwyneth Paltrow had left acting? [Jossip]
• Dina Lohan is such a wonderful role model, and Lindsay loves herself the Jackie D's. [Perez]
• Okay, lets be honest here, Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong are totally staring at the a-hole cameraman rather than the topless woman right in front of them. [PopSugar]
• Drug addicted rock stars who ritualistically trash their hotel rooms can't hold a candle to Lindsay Lohan and her fircrotch of terror. [DListed]
• Kate Hudson has low expectations for her husband, especially in the grooming and not sleeping with other women departments. [Junkiness]
• Tired of being the only person preserving his sexy, Diddy allows Justin Timberlake to use his word. [Celebitchy]
• Dude, E is such an idiot for wanting any girl other than Sloane. What was that? Entourage isn't real? Oh. [Popoholic]
• The Beckhams must abide by strict no touching rules if they meet Suri. I would've gone more with "you break it you buy it," cause you better believe that bot was expensive. [Hollywood Rag]
• Haircut aside, Menu Suvari is a few (thousand) bottles of booze away from Bai Ling. [Bastardly]
Not content with one arrow pointing directly at her crotch, Bai Ling opts for a giant cardboard one stuck in her bikini and painted directions over her belly button. The thing is, Bai, it would be a lot easier to focus on the main event if you didn't have so many other crazy person things going on.
[Source]
While I should be focusing on more important issues like whether or not Nicole Richie is dating Paris Hilton's ex (side bar: Nicole with Chad Muska Wednesday and Paris with him in 2004), I can't get these pictures of Bai Ling out of my head.
Those eyes. Those bangs. That tongue.
Besides the fact that she looks so wasted that she might just splat face down on the red carpet, she also appears like she may spontaneously start making out with the next object she sets her glassy eyes on (be it human or not).
I'm no doctor, but I think whatever she is doing in this picture actually qualifies as sexual activity. Everyone should probably get tested.
No need for Lohan sugar this weekend–I will not rest for fear that Bai will show her face in my dreams.
Keep it real, bitches.
Dirty Martinis,
Molly
But WAIT, you say! I didn't post my heaven-ordained number of servings for the day! Scandal! No worries, I will be popping in this weekend. That's right, when you are in the depths of your hungover-stranger's-bed-self-loathing, there will be a few MollyGood juicy niblets to remind you that no matter how bleak and crabs-ridden your life looks, there's always room to ridicule others.
[Source]
• Jake Gyllenhaal manages to look entirely uncreepy and pretty endearing touching a stranger’s young son. [JustJared]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are fighting; I guess her brainwashing wasn’t entirely successful. [The Superficial]
• Just as the sun will rise every morning, Bai Ling will provide a nip-slip at every possible moment. [Egotastic]
• Julia Stiles is on the cover of Marie Claire, which is almost as good as Vogue, right? Right? [IDon’tLikeYouInThatWay]
• Goldie Hawn proves that beauty is fleeting. Very, very fleeting. [Hollywood Rag]
• Sienna Miller and Jude Law are back together. I'm all for it if it means they'll both disappear. [A Socialite's Life]
Editor
