NO WORRIES, NEONATAL HERPES IS VERY RARE "'She’s not drinking. It’s the first time I’ve never seen her do that.' Above source is a firsthand, regular and up close observer of Paris Hilton and her horniness, hotness and sometimes tankedlicious goings on. Said insider’s been posing and preening right alongside Ms. H at a few recent T-town soirees. Gosh, is this the new, freshly domesticated Mrs.-Madden-to-be Paris or Paris the teetotalist, perhaps (for whatever reason)? Or, to get very National Enquirer about it (as if there were any diff here at A.T., I mean, really), could this possibly be the new preggers Paris?"
• Yeah, this girl is definitely a Lohan. Poor thing. [ICYDK]
• According to foreign stalkers, Angelina Jolie hasn't popped out the twins yet but she is in the hospital preparing for labor. [PS]
• Blake Lively doesn't want to be compared to Paris Hilton: "I don’t go to clubs, I don’t party, I don’t dance on tables and I don’t like sex tapes." We knew we liked her. [INO]
• Speaking of Paris, she says boyfriend Benji Madden won't let her get a tattoo because he thinks she looks "pure" without. So it's safe to say he's officially delusional. [DListed]
• Why you should believe the Madonna rumors. [Jossip]
The MTV Movie Awards were held last night, and I admittedly couldn't bring myself to sit through the hours-long crapfest. Just by looking at the pictures (after the jump), it's obvious I didn't miss much.
Anyone care to share exciting stories from the show (if you decided to punish yourself last night)? CONTINUED »
Good news, everyone: Paris Hilton's new reality show has started production, and nobody has died yet. The heiress posted a new MySpace bulletin to tell us how "cool" and "fun" the whole process has been so far. She also proudly mentions that this show had more applicants than any other in history, proving that she just doesn't get the joke. At all.
Paris Hilton attended Sober Day 2008, an event hosted by the Brent Shapiro Foundation for Alcohol and Drug Awareness, this weekend in Beverly Hills. We're guessing she has a different take on the meaning of "alcohol awareness."
[Source]
You would think after the media overload of all things Hills-related, WireImage could get Lo Bosworth's name right. It's not like we don't see the cast more than our own family members.
[Source]
Paris Hilton, who has been described as "wife material" by boyfriend/STD twin Benji Madden, took to a pet shop yesterday in LA to spread the clap to innocent animals.
[Source]
• Leather daddy will forever be a good look. Well done, Travolta. [CityRag]
• "Scientology boot camp is probably filled with a bunch of suppressed homos that are just aching to get their jaws around any cock and ass." [DListed]
• Another Spears girl is on the way. And this one will have many more issues than the first two. Huzzah! [PS]
• Patrick Dempsey is campaigning to win the title of "Sexiest Man Alive" this year, which is not the least bit sexy. [INO]
• Benji Madden wrote Paris Hilton a love song entitled "Shine Your Light." It's probably not very good and definitely not original, but Paris only knows what's in front of her, so she loves it. [ICYDK]
• Is Mariah Carey really engaged to Nick Cannon? Thank goodness those two are out of the dating pool! [Yeeeah]
Paris Hilton is due for some new legal troubles, and our wish has been granted: She and boyfriend Benji Madden are facing a hit and run charge after driving over a photographer's foot last night in LA.
The accident happened as the two left Foxtail nightclub. Benji drove over the photographer's foot and stopped to assess the situation after hearing the pap cry out in pain. Naturally, he then sped off, because the two famewhores have no consideration for others.
The photographer is likely not in any pain, but he went ahead and pressed charges because he's not as stupid as Paris and Benji.
[Source]
Now that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are dating the Madden brothers, the natural next step is to have a double wedding for both couples. Nevermind the fact that Paris and Benji have only been together a little over a month compared to Nicole and Joel's relationship of a year and a half (complete with child) — these two romances are both ready to see the altar.
And wouldn't you know it, the former Simply Life ladies are planning the wedding in an effort to "make millions" from all the publicity. Because if anyone is hurting for money, its those two.
[Source]
Paris Hilton's new MySpace rant — in which she rambles about being on tour with Good Charlotte and South Africa and such as — has attracted responses from classy 13-year-olds and old men who prowl the Internet looking for sex. Enter our new favorite sexual predator, Ronald (at right):
Hi Ms Hilton. sounds like you are have alot of fun. if any of your g/f's need an older guy as a boyfriend or just a guy to pal around with, I am available. LOL.
Sounds like a mass murderer to us, in which case we can only hope she gets back to him.
Paris' full MySpace bulletin, complete with smileys and double exclamation marks, after the jump. CONTINUED »
Evil partygoer Paris Hilton recently accompanied boyfriend Benji Madden to South Africa, a country historically known for its abundance of unwelcome whites. While there, Hilton treated the nation the way a child does a toy store, sporadically pointing at things and demanding to know if she could own them:
"Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman's dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, 'If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'"
Thank God Paris was born after 1865, huh?
• Madonna's new album cover reveals that she still believes the world wants to see her crotch. [People]
• Snoop Dogg takes the next logical step and appears on a soap opera. Because middle-aged cat women have major street cred. [PageSix]
• Paris Hilton swears her relationship with Benji Madden is not a joke. Her entire life, however, is still debatable. [Us]
• Anyone free — and desperate — next Friday? [PITNB]
• Edward Norton decided the best way to get us to remember him is by acting like a complete tool. [IDLYITW]
• We can tell where former American Idol contestant Danny Noriega got his sass. [DListed]
• You would think after this week the media would learn how to spell Eliot Spitzer's name. [Jossip]
Jenna Jameson, seen here at the Night of 100 Stars Awards in Beverly Hills, really needs to bathe. Or at least find a dress that completely covers her back.
[Source]
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, the skankiest BFF duo of all time, do everything together. And apparently they decided it would be hot to date the Madden brothers of Good Charlotte at the same time.
Benji Madden, Joel's brother, spent the weekend "canoodling" in St. Louis with Paris. Here's the good news: Since Paris and Nicole likely share the same STDs, the brothers can get vaccinated together!
Above: Paris and Benji, the latter of whom is in "disguise," which is a pretty clever way of making sure he doesn't catch anything.
[Source]
There's a tiny human being out there who sees this every time she poops her pants. We're not certain this will be a hindrance to her development, but, if it is, nobody can fault her for it.
[Source]
It was our understanding that one wore either clear, corrective lenses or sunglasses. But, as usual, the fashionistas have defied our logic, proffering to the world a dizzying pair of half-clear, half-darkened eye-things. They look almost dangerous, but perhaps that's the point. Do you get it? We're tired of thinking about it.
Editor
