Bless Lou Pearlman's heart. The musical con artist, who is currently serving 25 years in a Florida prison for conspiracy and money laundering, is truly an inspiration to all Americans — despite the fact that he's locked up, the former manager of the likes of Backstreet Boys and 'NSync is trudging onward and forming a new boy band.

The name of the future group? Biteboy. We're not even going to touch that one.

Hopefully Biteboy's members like being robbed and molested — when he wasn't stealing money from his clients, Lou was giving the boys "creepy massages and rubbing their abs to align their auras." Sign us up!

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SWEAR IT OFF! SWEAR IT OFF! SWEAR IT OFF! "… VH1 is greenlighting a reality series in which eight male teen idols from the 1980s and '90s shack up together and reflect on the highs and lows of heartthrobbery. After receiving mentoring from a life coach and industry experts, each one decides whether to attempt a career comeback or to swear off Hollywood for good."

In a world where Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block are reuniting, why not 'NSync? JC Chasez confirmed that the band will likely never reunite: "I think everybody's really excited about their own projects. Joey [Fatone] is doing a great job hosting these television shows. Obviously Justin [Timberlake] loves what he does and he's super successful at it, and rightfully so."

And who wouldn't be excited about JC's new project? He's the host of that awful Randy Jackson-hosted show on MTV — something about a dance crew? We watch Rock of Love 2 every Sunday night, but even we won't subject ourselves to that mess.

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In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.

Today's Someone Haiku had two winners. cdd and ChoniBaretz share the spoils:

Hair is Harlow gold
She’ll turn her music on you
Pure as New York snow

and

You’d think that with all
the douches she’s had in her
she’d be refreshing

The witty use of the butchered song's lyrics and the double entendre were both very much appreciated.

New one under here.

CONTINUED »

Raz B, the 22-year-old who recently alleged his former boy band's manager had molested him and other members of B2K, is today recanting his statements in a grainy YouTube video. It's the shadiest, most-bought-offiest apology we've ever seen.

TO CATCH A PREDATOR The "mastermind" behind black boy band B2K is being accused by a former member of the group of child molestation. These allegations come only months after Lou Pearlman, the pallid, wet architect of *NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys, was accused of similar crimes. In both cases, if true, the charges are heinous and sad; but what a great step for America's race relations if we were to discover that all boy band czars, regardless of color, are creepy pederasts.