STARS: THEY'RE JUST LIKE LANDED GENTRY "Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's soon-to-be-born twins will always be considered honorary citizens of Nice, regardless of whether they opt to obtain French citizenship, the mayor of Nice said Friday."
Hollywood press eager for a catfight made no effort to play down the fact that Brad Pitt’s former and current gals were going to face off against each other on Oct. 24, when they both had movies opening. But while Angelina Jolie’s Changeling is still set to open that weekend, Jennifer Aniston’s He’s Just Not That Into You has been pushed back — to February 6, 2009. Not only does the change affect the trades and gossip blogs yearning for a box office receipt throwdown, but it also make’s this month uncomfortable Marie Claire situation — which had Aniston feuding with co-star Jennifer Connelly so much that she reportedly refused to share a cover with her — a moot point. Boo.
Below, some of the headlines carrying the original news of a Jolie-Aniston tete-a-tete.
This week In Touch made Los Angeles Times blogger Liz Snead — who's been calling on Angelina Jolie to SHOW YOURSELF!!! – a very happy woman: At last, since Entertainment Tonight first falsely reported the superstar mom had given birth to her twins, there's photo evidence that … she hasn't.
PUTTING YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS "Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's foundation has donated $1 million to children affected by the Iraq war. The Jolie-Pitt Foundation will provide $500,000 for school supplies and education programs for refugee children in Iraq and $500,000 for American children who either lost a parent deployed in Iraq or have a parent serving in that country."
A story from AskMen.com, the men's online magazine famous for its listicles of hot women, that we sourced earlier today, had Billy Bob Thornton aiming some nasty remarks at ex-wife Angelina Jolie, who's currently enjoying the company of new partner Brad Pitt and on-going speculation about her unborn(?) twins.
According to AskMen, Thornton, speaking at a press launch for his new record, said Angelina "is just going through a high school phase. You know, dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She’ll be waking up from that dream in no time. … Who knows if I’ll be there when she’s ready to come to her senses though."
Dating John Mayer has earned Jennifer Aniston the superlative “cougar,” not the emotion “empathy” she was so used to after her split from Brad Pitt. And while Aniston hasn’t exactly done anything to deserve the growing ire of American women who used to so identify with her, she hasn’t done much to keep it. And that’s a celebrity actor’s job when they’re not filming!
And then, when they’re done filming, it’s also the celebrity actor’s job to keep quiet any reason America might have to hate her, so as not to re-open the scab. Too bad Aniston failed on even that front.
• The New Kids on the Block reunion excitement has plateaued. [DListed]
• Barack Obama: "Any fool can have a child, but that doesn’t make you a father." And the great speeches continue. [SH]
• For Father's Day, Kate Hudson let her kids hang out with new boyfriend Lance Armstrong. Because that's bound to be healthy. [PS]
• How Whitney Houston treated her stepson: "She decided to turn me into one of her security personnel. I was a teenager but I was walking around dressed up in all black with a Security shirt and she’d have me work for her." [ICYDK]
• Billy Bob Thornton is obviously a bit jealous of Brad Pitt. [INO]
Jay-Z might make more money than his new wife, but, according to Forbes, Beyonce is far more powerful a celebrity. Sorry, Jay. Angelina Jolie also bested her significant other in the magazine’s new 100 most powerful celebrities list. Click through to see who made it to the top 10. A million imaginary dollars to the person who can guess No. 1 and No. 2.
At No. 11, Will Smith might not have made the top group, but we still love him.
We feel kind of gross even commenting on this story, but here it is: The newest Hollywood romance involves two 9-year-olds who are likely flirting in the sandbox as we type.
Forget Brangelina. There's a new couple poised to take Hollywood by storm…and they have a combined age of 18!
Kate Beckinsale has reportedly given her 9-year-old daughter Lily permission to 'date' Brooklyn Beckham — the son of Posh Spice and soccer star David Beckham.
Any hopes of these kids having a normal childhood just went right out the window with that story, seeing as how Life & Style staffers are already working on next week's cover: "Beckhamsale: Brooklyn Won't Commit! Lily Walks Out After Finding Text Messages From Other Women!"
[Source]
Good thing the laughable world of media and its brick-dense minions have put such a ridiculous price on the heads of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's upcoming twin babies. Because those movie stars just piss away their money:
Brad Pitt is spending the weeks leading up to Angelina Jolie's delivery of the couple's twins by buying furniture for their huge new French mansion. Pitt made a stop at the Design Miami Basel fair in Switzerland this week and dropped a load of cash. Spies said he bought a hollow white marble rococo-style table by Dutch designer Jeroen Verhoeven from London-based Carpenters Workshop Gallery for $293,000; got two Ron Arad chairs from New York-based gallery Sebastian + Barquet for an undisclosed price; and ordered "Silver Sky," a rug made of aluminum thread from New York dealer Cristina Grajales, which sells for $175 a square foot.
And to anyone that's right now readying their fingers over the keyboard all anxious to bang out, "Hey, if you've got the money …": No, you're wrong. Regardless of one's income, spending $300,000 on a fucking table is idiotic.
The week began with reports that bidding on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s baby twin photos was skyrocketing past a $15 million mark; today brings word the final sum could hit $22 million, as the tabloids feed the human trafficking frenzy. (What’s an ultrasound worth?)
BEST MAN FOR THE JOB OR FREE ADVERTISING? "[Brad Pitt] is part of a team of consultants designing an 800-room, five-star hotel in [Dubai], it was announced Monday by U.A.E.-based property developers Zabeel. L.A.-based architecture firm Graft, which worked with Pitt on developing 150 environmentally friendly homes for families in New Orleans displaced by Hurricane Katrina, is designing the hotel and leisure development. … 'While acting is my career, architecture is my passion,” said Pitt. “Selecting this development as my first major construction project has been a simple decision. You can expect something that is not only stunning to look at but will also be an incredible attraction to visit or stay at.'"
• Katie Couric is thisclose to being out at CBS News. Again. [Jossip]
• Jack Black said Brangelina forgave him for spilling the beans about their fetus twins because they didn't want to hold in their secret any longer. Because they were staying quiet against their will? [ICYDK]
• The world can rest easy: Christina Aguilera plans to produce more babies. [INO]
• In a matter of 24 hours, Cameron Diaz has dropped Diddy and is now flirting with Jennifer Aniston's ex. Hollywood is so incestuous. [Us]
• Shia LaBeouf's healthy reasons for taking up acting: "I thought it could bring me security, it could bring me structure, it could bring me my family." [PS]
FINALLY, BRAD AND ANGIE GET THEIR DUE "The bidding for the Brangelina twins pics has reached a whopping $15 million — and will probably go a lot higher. Our magazine spies tell us only PEOPLE and OK! are left standing in the bidding war. One spy says the pics are so valuable they would 'print blank pages' the rest of year to get them."
Angelina Jolie, on her non-marriage to Brad Pitt:
People have made a lot out of it that we’re not, but we both have been married before, and it’s very easy to get married, but it’s not easy to build a family and be parents together. And maybe we’ve done it backwards, but we certainly feel married.
[Source]
Whoops! Some people at some media outlets are so excited about the arrival of two babies whom they'll never hold, they went ahead and lied about them being born:
Contrary to a flurry of recent reports that Angelina Jolie has delivered her twins, PEOPLE confirms that the rumors are not true. "Angelina has not given birth. She is fine, enjoying her home and her family in France," a rep for the actress tells PEOPLE.
Gasp! A celebrity using their child to fill their coffers? We're absolutely flabbergasted:
Which A-list couple agreed to let a paparazzo shoot their kids, but only after the lensman agreed to give the family half of the six-figure paycheck? Later the duo got greedy and demanded two-thirds of the loot, telling the pap: "We just got new furniture and need to pay it off."
Could Brangelinahaddohpaddox sink so low? Of course they could! But, did they?
Editor
