Coldplay singer Chris Martin once equated boobs with eternal damnation:
…Martin revealed that he used to worry that he might be gay until he discovered he loved boobs. The 31-year-old stated that his strict Christian upbringing had caused him a lot of worry about his sexuality in his teens, as he was made to think that sex was wrong.
NO SHAME FOR OLD MEN If you click here, you can see some pictures of Rod Stewart sucking his wife’s right breast in public. They’re both dressed completely in pink. It’s quite odd.
MR HOLLAND’S LAP DANCE “Richard Dreyfuss … spent several hours at Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club in Hell’s Kitchen the other night, happily ogling the bare-breasted talent. ‘He came in with a friend and was enjoying himself so much that when the friend left, he stayed on,’ a spy said.”
New rumor: George Clooney dumped cocktail waitress girlfriend Sarah Larson because she got a breast augmentation. If this is indeed the case, was Clooney’s reaction acceptable? We say yes, because the surgery reveals an insecurity that can be hell on relationships. What do you think?
Good news for pig-headed men across the world: In an effort to keep her post-pregnancy rack, Christina Aguilera plans to continue breastfeeding her son, Max, until he has celebrated his second birthday. Xtina evidently “loves her fuller cleavage” and “wants to keep it as long as she can.” Except replace “her fuller cleavage” with “all the male attention.”
[Source]
You’ve got to hand it to jocks—they’re very consistent bastards:
Yankee A-Rod drowned his sorrows over the team’s loss to the birds last week at Baltimore’s Hooters, and must have been so bummed that he dismissed a young fan who wanted his autograph.
“Excuse me, Mr. Rodriguez, may I please have your autograph?” the excited 10-year-old said to him.
The third baseman just mumbled, “Beat it.”
He had two different words for the chesty waitress he bumped into as he left.
“Nice ass.”
• Ha! The balls are the legs! He’s walking with the balls! Jeez, why isn’t Amy Sedaris more famous? (By the way, totally NSFW) [Queerty]
• “Christina Aguilera or Transvestite?” [CityRag]
• Mariah Carey demands bodyguards stand watch at bathrooms she uses. Gather from that what you may. [Yeeeah]
• Madge’s adopted baby isn’t hers again. [ICYDK]
• Mischa Barton now lives in Paris, where there’s cheese and butter in everything. Take that, all you mean dipshits saying her legs and butt are “gross.” [INO]
• So, that little kid on American Idol is unstoppable, huh? [PS]
• Paris is in London being a real Antwerp. (YES!) [DListed]
QUITE THE CASANOVA “Jesse Metcalfe reportedly paid for his Playboy Playmate ex-girlfriend’s boob job when they were dating. The former Desperate Housewives star … is said to have been so desperate for curvy Colleen Shannon to increase her breast size that he paid for the operation.”
Trista and Ryan Sutter met, “fell in love” and got engaged on a TV show, so you just know they’re fake fucking idiots. But, according to a recent interview, Ryan’s a gross, misogynistic bastard, also.
“Even when you’re about to breastfeed, we get turned on because we’re guys and we just see boobs,” he told parenting Web site MomLogic.com. Ryan also said he fakes not knowing his 8-month-old son has messed himself so that his wife can “discover it.” Keep in mind that this fuggin’ guy beat out thousands of others to win Trista’s heart.
Oh, and ladies, not all of us get turned on by breastfeeding.
You had to know this was inevitable: The Diablo Cody n00dz have arrived, and they include pierced nipples, acrylic nails and multicolored dreadlocks! Because the Internets like to humiliate people who are doing well for themselves.
When will art directors realize that overtly concealing nipples doesn’t make for a purer public, just one wondering more than ever what color Heidi Klum’s areolas are?
[Source]
• Here’s Amnesia Sparkles – the drag queen responsible for making Cord “Cordless” – explaining how this Sunday’s Oscars will be like sex with a black man. As you might guess, it’s NSFW. [Queerty]
• Idle Americans are prepared to again fawn over American Idols, many of whom will soon become idle Americans once again. [DListed]
• That’s not the breast place for a tattoo, Christina. [HT]
• A silvery Rihanna awaits your approval here. [INO]
• “I’m the Hillary Clinton of the Oscars.” [ICYDK]
• Go organic! It’ll make you feel like a new person filled with alien spirits! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [CityRag]
• Hey! More and more people are discovering that we have too many goddamn golf courses in this country. Cacti of the American Southwest, we’ve made the first step. [NYT]
THE WEIGHT OF LINDSAY LOHAN’S BREASTS “…New York magazine’s nude shoot with Lindsay Lohan generated so much web traffic, it crashed the website. But how much traffic is that, really? For starters, more than 20 million page views on both Monday and Tuesday, a 2,000 percent increase over the same time last year…The print magazine is also getting a boost from all the excitement. A spokeswoman says New York has sold 500 more subscriptions this week than in an average week.”
In her most recent interview with giddy talk show maven Ellen DeGeneres, singer-cum-infant pimper Christina Aguilera talks about the bigness of her breasts, the bigness of her dog, the bigness of her home’s backyard and the bigness of her new DVD. It’s ironic considering the compass of her interests is obviously so very small.
Legendary photographer Bert Stern, perhaps most famous for shooting a soon-to-be-dead Marilyn Monroe in 1962 for a collection he titled The Last Sitting, has called on Lindsay Lohan to recreate his depressing but iconic masterwork. The outcome is nothing special and the comparison is flimsy, BUT: Lohan shows her boobs!
After the jump, some NSFW excerpts.
CONTINUED »
DOLLY’S BIG PROBLEMS Country star, literacy charity founder and all around amazing person Dolly Parton has been forced to postpone her US tour due to an aching back. Apparently not one to sulk, the famously busty singer spoke cheerily when discussing her condition: “I know I have been breaking my neck and bending over backwards trying to get my new ‘Backwoods Barbie’ CD and world tour together, but I didn’t mean to hurt myself doing it!…But hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don’t have back problems.” WE LOVE HER!
• “…Hilton has been sexually involved with Lindsay Lohan, Kimberly Stewart, Britney Spears and of course Nicole Lenz.” [Queerty]
• Rock of Love 2 is now infecting the airwaves. [DListed]
• Britney Spears is finding it difficult to respect the guidelines given her by a court of law. [PS]
• Here is a purse that resembles breasts! Perfect for the woman who is crazy. [HT]
• Flared jeans are once again in fashion, and yet they’re still not cool. [INO]
• Christina Aguilera has released footage of her wedding to fans. Watch it if you’re obsessive. [ICYDK]
• Drew Barrymore et al were involved in a bar fight. Do tell! [Yeeeah]
• “WTF is up with Bruno from Dance War’s way too tight pants…?” Couldn’t tell you, we don’t go anywhere labeled Dance Wars. [CityRag]
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