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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Cannes Ad Lovefest: Making deals on beauty

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You’ve heard about the big advertising orgy held at Cannes. All these Madison Avenue types crossing the border to show who’s campaign is bigger. AdAge ditches its usual method of “reporting” and instead provides us a Star-like photospread, which is great because otherwise we wouldn’t bother looking at it.

So with all these mock headshots, what else were we to do but decide who we’d do business with, based on pure aesthetics alone.

On the left we have a Chelsea and Bill Clinton look-alike, but really it’s Matilde Delhoume, P&G’s director of advertising development for global baby care; A.G. Lafley, chairman-CEO of P&G .. and some other people on the right. We totally dig the faux father-daughter action, so we say yes to biz. On the right are just a few hostesses decked out in Pierre Cardin-designed dresses. Normally we’re just crazy for dots, but we don’t make deals with women pretending to look pregnant.

On the left we have Leo Burnett, Worldwide’s chief creative officer, whose balls are probably much smaller than the sphere around his head. And who likes small balls? No thanks! And on the right we have Jean-Paul, manager of the Gutter Bar, who we’d totally make a deal with, but only if it involved a free case of Fris.

On the left we’ve got a trio of men asking the same question Adam and Eve did: Why? From L to R, it’s Grey Worldwide London executives David Alberts, chairman and executive creative director; John Lowery, European planning director; and Mike Read, business director. So would we shake hands with these fellas? We’ll answer that question in a theme taken from their T-shirts: “Why the fuck would we?” And on the right it’s John Montgomery, executive vice president and creative director of Leo Burnett USA; Charlie Bell, McDonald’s president-CEO; Ronald McDonald; McDonald’s global chief marketing officer, Larry Light; and Dean Barrett, McDonald’s senior vice president of global marketing. So many names when the selling point is the redheaded guy in the middle. And we’ve worked with him plenty of times in the past, but usually it involves stumbling down First Avenue after our seventh dirty martini.



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