IN CRISIS, THE RETURN OF GORDON GEKKO "As Wall Street continues to capture headlines due to market volatility, 20th Century Fox is moving forward with a 'Wall Street' sequel. Allan Loeb ('21') has been tapped to pen the screenplay, which is being fast-tracked by the studio as a Michael Douglas starrer, though the actor is not formally attached. The modern-day story will again center on Gordon Gekko, who has recently been sprung from prison and re-emerges into a much more tumultuous financial world than the one he once lorded over. The Bud Fox character, played by Charlie Sheen in the original, will not appear in the latest incarnation."
Paris Hilton confuses us, because 90 percent of the time she is an insufferable twit who puts out crappy music and perfume — but then there's that other 10 percent where she's actually slightly funny and seem to be in on the joke. The clip above, courtesy of Funny or Die, is one of those times. Ah, Paris. Why can't you just let us hate you?
Good god, the rumors are true! Charlie Sheen is in fact the highest paid actor on television, commanding a mind-boggling $825,000 per episode of his sitcom Two and a Half Men.
Serious question now: Who watches that show? We don't know a single person – not one – who watches Two and Half Men. Are you a fan? If so, please explain why Charlie Sheen is worth almost a million dollars a week.
Britney Spears showed up to the Generation Rescue event hosted by Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy to make her first red carpet appearance since having her meltdown back in January. We have to hand it to her — she looks semi-decent and appears to have bathed and put a little thought into her outfit. The hair still needs some help, but Ken Paves will work his magic in due time. He is only one man, after all.
WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN REALITY TV CAMERAS? "Denise Richards went to court this morning, asking the custody judge for an emergency order restricting Charlie [Sheen]'s access to their kids. … We're told they told the judge there's a serious issue in Charlie's home that could have an adverse impact on the kids."
New research calls into question a study suggesting circumcision halves a man's chances of contracting HIV, a claim detailed at length in 2006 in this former "Most E-Mailed" New York Times article. According to one expert, the latest data shows the 2006 findings to be "spurious and unsupported" and more related to behavior than physicality. Whoops.
Sorry you got such a bad rap, hooded friends. To make you feel more included, after the jump, we've made a list of all your ALLEGEDLY uncircumcised brethren in Hollywood.
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Charlie Sheen has apologized to "all [he] obviously offended" by calling his ex-wife, Denise Richards, a "fucking nigger" in a swear-heavy rant he left on her voicemail three years ago. Despite its age, Richards released the recording, in which Sheen also labels her a "fucking cunt," presumably because she is a spiteful, spiteful person.
Sheen sent out a special acknowledgment to Tony Todd, his black friend, best man for two weddings and THE Candyman. Sheen star offered no message of peace to cunts.
After the jump, a clip of the scariest yet greatest groomsman in the history of nuptials.
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DOES HE HAVE TO REPRODUCE? "Newlyweds Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are eager to take what Mueller calls 'the next step': starting a family. Although the couple are knocking down reports that they're already expecting, Sheen, 42, tells Extra: 'Doesn't mean it's not part of the plan.'"
• Usher's performance on Good Morning America today reminded everyone how not-so-awesome Justin Timberlake really is. [INO]
• We weren't invited to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' cocktail party. Somehow, life goes on. [ICYDK]
• In a desperate ploy for publicity, Supernanny has announced that she would be "more than happy" to help Britney. Um, OK? [People]
• Everything the Lohans touch turns to gold. And by "gold" we mean "stuff nobody wants to see." [PS]
• Charlie Sheen seems to have convinced yet another stupid female to marry him. [DListed]
[Source]
Denise Richards stopped by The View to try and set the record straight about that whole "man-stealing whore" thing. It didn't work, and she even got a little sassy when Whoopi questioned her parenting skills. Call us crazy, but we think these attempts at finding redemption via reality television might not be the best idea. CONTINUED »
• Who knew Barbara Walters said vagina so often? And in so many different ways! [Queerty]
• It's official: Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O'Brien next year. [DListed]
• "Rumor has it that Tori Spelling has just been cast in the 90210 spinoff show that the CW is doing." [INO]
• Famous john Charlie Sheen and his fiancée, Brooke Mueller, are asking for donations to charity in lieu of wedding gifts. [ICYDK]
• Lindsay Lohan has been dropped from the cast of another film. It's sad now. [Yeeeah]
• Do these people look like Muppets or do these Muppets look like people? [CityRag]
• Dina Lohan's TV show is finally here! Kill your flat-screen before her voice enters your home and controls your children and pets. [PS]
If you thought horndog sitcom star Charlie Sheen had sworn off hookers many years ago, you're wrong, according to a former Los Angeles madam.
-From where else but the New York Post
• Demi Moore has a great new beauty treatment: Allowing leeches to prey on her. Which works out nicely, since she's with Ashton Kutcher. [PS]
• Amy Winehouse cleaned up her act! Just kidding, she looks like hell. [DListed]
• Priscilla Presley's face is all messed up because it was injected with "silicone used to lubricate auto parts." We're going to pretend that's also what happened to Jocelyn Wildenstein. [TMZ]
• Genealogists believe Hillary Clinton is related to Angelina Jolie and Barack Obama is related to Brad Pitt. You know who else they say Barack is related to? George Bush. [Yahoo]
• Britney knows talent when she sees it: American Idol contestant Kristy Lee Cook, this season's Sanjaya, was signed to Spears' label many years ago and was even mentored by the pop star. We can see that worked out. [INO]
• Denise Richards legally dropped Sheen as her last name; still no word on what she did with her dignity. [Us]
Ashley Youmans, the Jersey prostitute so enticing she made Eliot Spitzer forget he could maybe one day be President, was once also a plaything of famed whoremonger Charlie Sheen, according to a report out of the UK.
Pimp Jason Itzler, 41, claims he sent [Youmans] under the name of Victoria and another girl, Cheryl, to Sheen more than two years ago …
He claims Sheen paid $20,000 for a threesome with the girls dressed up as cheerleaders.
"Sheen got the girls to dress up as cheerleaders and chant his name while performing sex acts. They loved Charlie. They said he was a great guy. A great lover. One time he had them dressed up like cheerleaders, chanting 'Charlie! Charlie! He's our man. If he can't do it, nobody can!'"
Sheen's publicist says that even if the "alleged cheerleader incident" did happen, it happened 15 years ago. Translation: "The cheerleader incident did happen, just not with Youmans."
A Los Angeles judge has ruled to allow Denise Richards to have her children on her reality show, despite the fact that her ex-husband and the children's father, Charlie Sheen, does not want them to participate. If you think this sounds dangerously close to granting Richards permission to use her kids, you're right. The silver lining is that the children are becoming accustomed to court battles, which, for them, will continue for years.
• Adnan Ghalib speaks (with a cute little accent). [INO]
• "SERIOUS IMPLICATIONS!!!!!!!!" [MG]
• Denise Richards wants to pimp her kids, Charlie Sheen doesn't. For once, sheen looks like a great father. [Yeeeah]
• Brad Pitt does ads for jeans in Japan, but not America, because of a fickle public that both rewards and punishes stars for exposure. We don't fully get it. [PS]
• "Baby Polar Bear!" Try and resist. [CityRag]
Today, new allegations charge that impulsive e-mailer Charlie "Mean John" Sheen was once the owner of a $6,000 sex doll. A proud owner, in fact, for he once brought the thing – clad in a cheerleader outfit – to the set of his old show, Spin City. On another occasion, Sheen even tried to convince two women to have a foursome with him and the doll. Surprisingly, his request that the ladies have bisexual sex with him, each other and an inanimate fuck doll did not go over well.
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Editor
