These days it's clearer than ever: loyalty and Hollywood go together like boxing gloves and telephones.
Now that we in the Western world are eating fish skeletons out of the garbage like the Heathcliff of world powers, too poor to lavish celebrities with sufficient amounts of money and gifts, our disappointed stars are turning their rhinoplastied noses eastward, to the mysterious, exciting, oil-rich Orient. In Dubai, where oil barons mingle with Russian gangsters in $1,500 shoes, the money flows as plentifully as the region's largest export. And just like that, our celebrities are taking their balls and going to the UAE!
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• The many faces of drunk Christina Aguilera, red lipstick included. [CityRag]
• All Angelina Jolie comments aside, Jennifer Aniston's Vogue interview is a fairly good read. [PS]
• OMG you guys! Joe Jonas has a new girlfriend! Squeee! [Yeeeah]
• Jesse Metcalfe recovered from his Monaco fall just in time to be photographed in a wheelchair by the paparazzi. Stay strong, Jess. [DListed]
• Adam Sandler's a father (again). [ICYDK]
• Lauren Conrad's former Hills flame is creeping down the Hollywood ladder, as all good famewhores eventually do. [INO]
Christina Aguilera, on comments that she steals her style cues from Lady Gaga:
You know, that’s funny that you mention that. This person [Lady Gaga] was just brought to my attention not too long ago. I’m not quite sure who this person is, to be honest. I don’t know if it is a man or a woman. I just wasn’t sure. I really don’t spend any time on the Internet, so I guess I live a little under a rock in that respect.
[Source]
• The world's ugliest dog has passed on to the great kennel in the sky. [DListed]
• Tim Robbins had polling problems on election day, but they were all his own damn fault. [Yeeeah]
• Janet Jackson is way too busy canceling her tour to have children. [INO]
• Brooke Hogan: Still classy. [HT]
• Who in the hell invited Tyra Banks to the Glamour Women of the Year ceremony? [PS]
• Christina Aguilera has some really unfortunate-looking bangs. [ICYDK]
• Christina Aguilera's new Target commercial is 100 times better than that bizarre "Keeps Gettin' Better" video she released. [INO]
• What in the hell kind of outfit is Whitney Port wearing and why? [PS]
• Ten invaluable life lessons from Judge Judy. Write these down. [CityRag]
• Betty Boop is coming to Broadway. Why not? [DListed]
• Brad Pitt says Angelina Jolie is the love of his life. Somewhere, Jennifer Aniston is crying. [ICYDK]
• Zac Efron on Daniel Radcliffe's Broadway "exposure": "Daniel was very ballsy." Heh. [Yeeeah]
Christina Aguilera finally put out a music video for all five fans waiting with baited breath. The song, "Keeps Gettin' Better," is enjoyable enough; the video, not so much. She's been compared to Lady Gaga quite a bit as of late, but it's frighteningly true. What happened to Xtina? Did popping out a child turn her into some weird robot?
Full video after the jump. And yes, she does that (at right). CONTINUED »
• Clay Aiken takes the best pictures. [ICYDK]
• Lindsay Lohan feels like a caged animal. Uh, she's just now figuring this out? [PS]
• Kristin Cavallari is practicing karate so she can stay in shape for her illustrious career. [HT]
• Christina Aguilera and Paris Hilton sink their claws into Prince William. [DListed]
• Christie Brinkley's ex Peter Cook has a sex tape. Doesn't everybody? [Yeeeah]
• Bruce Willis is planning to marry a baby Demi Moore. [INO]
[Source]
• Britney Spears' new single is upon us. It makes our brain hurt, but it's going to be huge, because it's Brit and she didn't shave her head. [PS]
• Pamela Anderson wants to pose nude for Playboy one last time. Um … no. [Yeeeah]
• The going rate for being married to Chris Kattan: $100,000 for less than two months. Not bad. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan took out an "order of protection" against her starved-for-attention father, Michael. Can we do the same thing so we never have to hear from him again? [INO]
• Christina Aguilera is turning into Lady GaGa. [HT]
• 90210's Shenae Grimes is really unlikeable and wants you to stop hating. Duly noted. [ICYDK]
• Have you ever stepped on a cat's tail? That's what Kat DeLuna's rendition of the National Anthem sounds like, except it goes on for two minutes. [DListed]
• Megan Fox in GQ. Men everywhere rejoice. [Yeeeah]
• What happened to Christina Aguilera? [PS]
• Heidi Montag tries on a large cross necklace covered in diamonds and poses for the paparazzi, because that's what Jesus would do. [HT]
• For those of you who forgot, the Jonas Brothers are just teenage boys and not the second coming of Xenu. [ICYDK]
• A couple made in cleanliness heaven: Mischa Barton and Josh Hartnett. [INO]
Taking a cue from both PETA's "objectify your body for a good cause" initiative, as well as the rise in popularity for Eli Roth films, MILFs Jessica Alba and Christina Aguilera teamed up with celebrity photographers Mark Liddell and David LaChapelle to create a BDSM fetishist's wet dream for the Declare Yourself voting campaign. This website will either inspire you to go out and vote, or go buy an extra lock for your door:
The MTV VMAs are finally upon us, and I don't mind being the only one to admit that I'll be watching them from home tonight with my cat and perhaps a cupcake or two. This is good news for you, dear readers, because you can have a life and skip the circus while I liveblog the entire fiasco for your enjoyment. And if you do end up watching, you can suffer right along with me. CONTINUED »
• What really matters in this presidential election: The ability to grow a beautiful mullet. [CityRag]
• Britney Spears shows some self-awareness: "My father saved my life. I probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him." [INO]
• Dog the Bounty Hunter or his wife Beth: Who would you rather do? [DListed]
• Oh, phew. Christina Aguilera's red lipstick is back. [PS]
• Madonna's tour minions are threatening to quit. At least Madge still has her crotch. [Yeeeah]
• Spencer Pratt's problem with John McCain: "Not picking Heidi for the vice president. It’s just cold." [ICYDK]
• The light almost came for Pete Doherty after yet another drug overdose. [DListed]
• Thanks to a misguided notion that America wants to see more of him on the big screen, Tom Cruise announced he is searching for more comedic movie roles. [ICYDK]
• Things we never thought we'd see again: Britney Spears looking good in a bikini. [HT]
• Harry Potter wants to be a drag queen. Naturally. [INO]
• We had almost forgotten about Josh Hartnett, so of course new reports are claiming that he's got a sex tape. [Yeeeah]
• It's a miracle! Christina Aguilera isn't wearing her red lipstick. [PS]
[Source]
• Christina Aguilera's new perfume ad inspires us to vomit. [Yeeeah]
• As of right now Amy Winehouse is back in rehab. Not sure how long that's going to last, but the facility is right next to Blake Incarcerated, which sounds like a bad idea. [INO]
• When Ellen DeGeneres blogs, we listen. [PS]
• Jon Voight has some harsh words for Roseanne. [DListed]
• Heidi Montag is now claiming she's a virgin. Uh, did she forget all those interviews she gave talking about having sex with Spencer — and the infamous Season 2 pregnancy test? [ICYDK]
• The Real World: Brooklyn reportedly sucks, and it hasn't even finished filming yet. We could have told you that. [CityRag]
Rachel McAdams graces the pages of the upcoming issue of New York Times Magazine with some new dark lipstick that will surely be seen on Christina Aguilera in the very near future.
• It's the first picture of Nicole Kidman's baby Sunday. Except … we can't see her. At all. [DListed]
• Shia LaBeouf will not have his pinky finger amputated. That sound you hear is the entire Indiana Jones cast and crew breathing a huge sigh of relief. [ICYDK]
• Ashley Olsen has decided Starbucks is so 2007. [PS]
• Saint Angelina Jolie will build an AIDS clinic in daughter Zahara's homeland of Ethiopia. She really can do no wrong as of late. [INO]
• Jessica Alba popped out her baby and got back on the chair. [CityRag]
• Naked pictures of a 2004 Christina Aguilera would be more exciting if it were, you know, four years ago. [Yeeeah]
• Elisabeth Hasslebeck comes off looking dumber than ever. [INO]
• Larry King fans have too much time on their hands. [CityRag]
• Why this Sunday will be more blessed than usual. [DListed]
• Christina Aguilera couldn't stay away from that obnoxious red lipstick. [PS]
• Adam Sandler runs errands in the same outfit he wore to his movie premiere, which lets you know how much he cares about You Don't Mess with the Zohan. [ICYDK]
• Miley Cyrus' handlers need to tell her to just stop talking. [Yeeeah]
Behold Christina Aguilera's new ad celebrating department store Macy's 150th birthday. We honestly can't come up with anything bad to say about the photo — it's stunning and doesn't involve any red lipstick. But, admittedly, our standards have been lowered quite a bit as of late.
Editor
