• Your first look at Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. Needless to say, this movie is going to be awesome. [ICYDK]
• Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson's baby refuses to come out. We don't blame him. [PS]
• The Kardashian sisters and a washed-up Laguna Beach star posing for pictures on the beach. If that's not newsworthy, we don't know what is. [HT]
• Vivienne Westwood must be really desperate. [INO]
• The Victoria's Secret fashion show: Because there's nothing sexier than 50-pound wings attached to a 90-pound girl. [Yeeeah]
• Courtney Love spent her Sunday writing up 60 (60!) posts for her MySpace blog in a matter of hours. [DListed]
• How long until Paris Hilton gets herself one of these monkey servants? [DListed]
• The hardest working dog in Hollywood is also likely covered in STDs, poor thing. [HT]
• Miley Cyrus' dad approves of his 15-year-old daughter's 20-year-old boyfriend. But if we've learned anything, it's that Billy Ray doesn't exactly exercise the best judgment. [INO]
• You were right: We can no longer tell Mary-Kate and Ashley apart. [PS]
• The Brangelina children love Cheetos, y'all. Britney would be proud. [ICYDK]
• Courtney Love had gastric bypass surgery. Um, did she need it? [Yeeeah]
The photo agency behind this picture describes its subject, Courtney Love, as "pale and confused." It's brief, yes, but quite thorough, we think.
Click through to see how thorough.
CONTINUED »
It shouldn't surprise you to learn that Courtney Love hangs out with thieves, but perhaps you'd be shocked to know that the stripper-cum-maniac stores late husband Kurt Cobain's ashes in a pink teddy bear-shaped bag, a neat little package that was recently nabbed by thieves.
[Love] was horrified to discover them gone, along with thousands of pounds worth of clothes and jewellery.
Courtney said: "I can't believe anyone would take Kurt's ashes from me. I find it disgusting and right now I'm suicidal."
We could offer our four cents, but we think Kurt said it best:
Load up on guns and
Bring your friends
It's fun to lose
And to pretend
She's over bored
And self assured
Oh no, I know
A dirty word
VIRGIN SHUNS LOVE "Courtney Love is the latest celebrity to be banned from flying. The singer and her daughter Frances Bean Cobain were headed back to London on Monday … when she decided that her need for nicotine outweighed the consequences of breaking the airport no smoking laws. The smoking violation took place in the first class lounge of Virgin Atlantic at LAX. A spokesperson for the airline confirmed that Love was prevented from boarding her flight and was not allowed to fly out until the next evening."
In 2001 Courtney Love contacted Anthony Pellicano about making her problems to go away. At the time, the woozy singer was tied up in legal woes, losing money and worried that her former assistant had hacked into her computer and stolen personal information. Pellicano, "PI to the stars" (especially Chris Rock), said he could help her. After all, it's what Italians Sicilians do.
After the jump, highlights from the Love-Pellicano conversation.
CONTINUED »
Spacey enabler Courtney Love is facing financial woes after a group of con men opened hundreds of credit cards with the stolen identity of her late husband, Kurt Cobain. According to Love, the men have been profiting off the scam since 2003, and have since gotten away with $72,000,000(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Love says she tried numerous times to warn people of the fraud, but nobody believed her. Because that's what happens when you're Courtney Love.
• 50 Cent is going to interview Paris Hilton for some MySpace commercial disguised as journalism. Let's hope the notorious racist doesn't call him a nigger to his face. And if she does, let's hope he cares. [SH]
• Pretty sure Gwyneth Paltrow is seen here wearing what the kids call locs. Awesome! [DListed]
• Rachel Bilson's passport photo shoot finds her looking better than ever. At least she looks like a woman and not a victim. [HT]
• Go ahead and dress lie Catherine Zeta-Jones; just promise not to also be a calloused snake like her. [INO]
• Johnny Depp would like to be considered for the lead in Tim Burton's remake of Alice in Wonderland. Yes: Alice. Shark jumped. [ICYDK]
• New day, new Britney Spears diagnosis. [Yeeeah]
• She's finally given up, then? We thought she would never learn. [EBG]
• Margaret Cho won't cross the picket lines for BFF Ellen DeGeneres. Yay, principles! [Queerty]
It's an interesting thing how Courtney Love's appearance will fluctuate from demure to batshit to anywhere in between and yet her mental faculties remain so decrepit. Try to parse this gem from her latest illiterate ramble:
all i can say is ive seen it happen so many times fuck with me as litmus?
i dont know why it sjust a real bad streak seems to come peoples way, eitehr immediatly or eventually/im this case i let it go and letthe universe do the work.
so onto LESBIANS viva! contracts that i write zAnd create and if not obeyed there are built in penalties.if ethics are breached then i automcatrucally get to take money from your account tp the amount you took from me and its all legal.
Terrible as that is, the idiot fans are worse!
CONTINUED »
• "Scott Baio Upstaged By Two-Headed Turtle." That's what it is, and it's gross. [BWE]
• Lohan's out of rehab! Let the countdown begin. [DListed]
• Where's her racket? She has a skill, right? [HT]
• No more moping, now it's moped-ing. [PS]
• Courtney Love, you look lovely. [INO]
• She doesn't know how many bathrooms she has in her house? Where does she keep all her bullshit, then? [ICYDK]
• I bet you'll think this is stupid. If you don't, you should. [Yeeeah]
• Hey, twinsies. [CityRag]
• Hey! What'd you do with that vomitous guttersnipe to whom we've grown so accustomed? [DListed]
• Justin talks about Britney on Oprah! (That sentence is so fucking famous it doesn't need last names.) [INO]
• Does the word "upskirt" give anyone else the chills? [HT]
• Vanessa Hudgens: Before her vagina was also famous. [Yeeeah]
• "Westminster Dog Show Tickets on Sale!" Be sure to get good seats for the loneliest show on earth! [CityRag]
• So I guess this guy didn't get the memo regarding putting the kibosh on bragging about dating Britney Spears. [ICYDK]
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is eeks:
If two losers fight
in the ring and one falls down,
does a loser “win”?
Well done.
There's a new one just beyond the jump.
CONTINUED »
Sure, she's terrifying, but we can all find solace in the fact that her daughter’s no longer young enough to believe in the Boogie Man, thereby eliminating any confusion. Then again, the realization that one's mother is a drug-fueled scarecrow beyond repair is probably more frightening than anything that could be hiding under one's bed.
After the jump, more of this phantom.
CONTINUED »
Of course, not everyone has the luxury of being able to step over Fashion Week as if it were an errant mess on a city sidewalk. Occasionally, notable people are present for – and even active participants in – the clamorous, glamorous hubbub. To these precious few (or is it gullible many) we briefly offer our attention and pity.
A creep, a newly single father and a gay rock icon walk into a fashion show…
More of this joke after the jump.
CONTINUED »
• I'm going to wager this woman's not married. [BWE]
• Crimes of fashion. [DListed]
• That one college dropout is now a slightly less powerful dick. [NYT]
• Does this woman have a bikini trench coat? [DS]
• Heather Graham's attractive, but still usually unemployed. [HT]
• Better bra! [CityRag]
• Isla Fisher says her Australian roots make her unworthy. Aboriginals go, "Uhhhhhh…" [ICYDK]
• Trump takes aim… [Yeeeah]
• I'm more confused by what "NO REAL THAN YOU ARE" could mean. [Yahoo]
• Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital to be treated for cocaine and liquor induced exhaustion. [DListed]
• Who is Olivia Munn and why was she trying to eat this hot dog like that? Eating hot dogs the regular way is life threatening enough. [HT]
• Akon will never not be a total fucking loser. Sorry, I blame it on him. [ICYDK]
• Courtney Love eats cupcakes, drugs. [Yeeeah]
• The Hoff's still got it, and he doesn't mind if you touch it. [CityRag]
According to LA folklore, Courtney Love used to work at a strip club called Jumbo's Clown Room. It's less seedy than you'd think, but it's still quite a far cry from her current routine of shopping sprees in Beverly Hills. Courtney's living the American dream: Girl meets boy, boy gets rich, boy gets jaded, boy kills self, girl gets rich.
Courtney Love adorning herself in sequins is like putting flares around a bus accident. It's a double-edged sword because though it makes the roads safer for everyone by warning drivers to avoid the mess, it also draws one's eyes directly to the carnage.
Lots more underneath.
CONTINUED »
Editor
