If you haven’t been keeping up with the Anderson Cooper-Lohan family feud, then we’ll give you the shortened version: Anderson insulted Dina and Ali on Live with Regis and Kelly, then Dina told OK! magazine something about cruelty and karma, then Anderson responded on 360 by basically laughing at the idiocy of the entire family. Caught up? Good.
We knew it was only a matter of time before Michael Sr. threw his hat into the ring, and he didn’t disappoint with his statement to Access Hollywood:
I think Anderson Cooper is an opinionated, hypocritical idiot who should be an adult and keep his opinion to himself. He is the last person to judge anyone, when he and his own family have their own issues.
Because if anyone is in a position to talk about keeping your opinions to himself, it’s Michael “I sell my statements to the tabloids” Lohan. Well played.
Anderson, rebuttal?
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On yesterday’s Live with Regis and Kelly, guest co-host Anderson Cooper launched into an attack on the Lohan family, offering up his great Dina impression and nothing this lovely observation: “The only thing I’ve seen her actually do is sit around in an office reading stuff about her daughter online and then calling the people up like, ‘You gotta take that offline.’” Which is perfect, because this is exactly what Dina did — by the end of the day, she had called OK! magazine with an “exclusive” quote about how Anderson has bad karma (we don’t even need to go into the pot and kettle introductions). But Anderson has won yet again with his latest opinion on last night’s 360. Dina, honey, you’re out of your league.
After Anderson Cooper’s anti-Lohan rant yesterday on Live with Regis and Kelly, we knew mom Dina would be quick with a rebuttal. For a quick refresher, here’s part of what Coop had to say about Ali, the family’s littlest famewhore:
Allegedly a 14-year-old girl, looks to be about 60. … I say that with concern and love. She allegedly wants to be a singer and/or actor-slash-performer of some sort, striptease person, I don’t know.
Dina disappointed us in the statement department, simply offering up: “People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him.” Well, she would know about bad karma.
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Our apologies for posting a second Anderson Cooper video in the same afternoon, but this moment is made of such greatness it deserves to be shared. Anderson shares with Kelly his reality TV viewing habits and then goes on to bash Dina and Ali Lohan, but the best part is where he references Joel McHale. The fact that Anderson Cooper watches The Soup just made our entire day.
On the season finale of Living Lohan, Ali showed off her terrible acting skills at an audition for some movie involving trolls. Unbeknownst to her and Dina, however, is the teensy little fact that the director, Peter Davy, used to work in the porn industry and is responsible for such classy films as Voodoo Lust and Dreams in the Forbidden Zone. Dina reportedly “went nuclear” when she heard about Pete’s former profession — but we highly doubt that would have stopped her from pimping out Ali for a leading movie role.
Click through for the video and Peter’s creepy vibe. CONTINUED »
Despite the fact that Dina Lohan is an executive producer of Living Lohan, her influence over the editing process can’t hide the fact that she is a famewhore first and mother second. During last night’s episode, Dina was “surprised” by her son Cody and “forced” to perform at the Pearl in Las Vegas in a totally spur-of-the-moment routine with some So You Think You Can Dance hasbeen. It’s all too much, and the sooner this show comes to an end, the better.
It seems like only yesterday the Internet was freaking out in response to pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson blowing kisses to each other in LA. But while we weren’t looking, LiLo and that wretched mother of hers turned up in NYC to celebrate Sephora’s 10th anniversary. Because that’s a good reason to travel across the country. Anyway, the Lohan ladies also dragged along Lindsay’s poor brother Michael, who quite obviously hates his life.
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Villainous mother of four Dina Lohan took her 14-year-old daughter Ali (aka Plan B) to CBS’ Early Show yesterday to drum up some viewers for the family’s tainted reality show, Living Lohan.
With her forked tongue, Dina said without laughing that she only agreed to do the reality program to “diffuse the rumors,” presumably the ones that say she’s a money-hungry loon who will do anything to be famous. Then Ali spoke and demonstrated just how deeply she’s repressed her memories:
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The newest Lohan spawn, Ashley Kaufmann, made her first Entertainment Tonight appearance with her greedy mother by her side to talk about how much she hates her alleged father Michael. It’s like watching Lindsay all over again, except way more annoying. Her mother claims she’s so sorry for the way everything has played out — hence the reason they’re pimping out their story to ET.
Today Lindsay Lohan celebrates her 22nd birthday — a day that, at one point, we were unsure she would live to see. So here’s to you, Linds, and your goal to get your life back on track. Let’s hope 22 treats you better than all of those other years … and if not, then at least we’ll have something to write about.
Above: Lindsay’s Parent Trap screen test, back when she was as pure as a child can be under the wrath of Michael and Dina.
Michael Lohan couldn’t resist stopping by Chelsea Lately the other night to respond to the latest allegations that he fathered yet another Lohan while married to Dina (but they were on a break!). Chelsea put his skeeziness on hold to discuss more important matters: Camel balls. Apparently such a thing exists, and the former inmate suffers from it.
Click through for the video if you care to throw up your breakfast.
WHAT?! THERE’S ANOTHER ONE? “[Linday Lohan]’s father, Michael Lohan, has admitted to OK! that, while married — but at the time separated — to now-ex-wife Dina Lohan, he had a relationship with another woman which resulted in a pregnancy.”
The reasoning behind Living Lohan, according to Dina and Ali, was to show America that the Lohans are just like any other typical family. Luckily, the project has instead turned into a showcase of the repulsiveness of Ali. I specifically remember having this exact same conversation with my mother — I wanted a cat of my own, but I didn’t show responsibility for the other pets — except things ended a bit differently. Now I understand why Dina won that parenting award: She has yet to kill Ali.
Click through for the clip from last night’s show. CONTINUED »
Good news, everyone! (And by “everyone,” we mean “Dina Lohan.”) Lynne Spears will be releasing her memoir this fall after a minor setback that included her 16-year-old daughter getting knocked up and her other daughter having a very public mental breakdown.
The book, which will be called Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, will not be a parenting book, but instead it’s “her story of what it was like being a mom and raising two very famous people.” Sources say that, even when it was put on hold, Lynne never stopped writing, because “she wants to express her love for her children and tell their stories through a mother’s eyes.” Also? She needs a paycheck now that both daughters are out of work.
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• Please pass along the memo: Five annoying phrases are being retired from television. [MTV]
• Jessica Alba’s brother has the same feelings we do when it comes to babies. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are still flaunting their obvious relationship in public, likely to Dina’s dismay. [PS]
• A lucky little baby was born with a special present on his back. (Slightly NSFW) [DListed]
• Anne Hathaway on Michael Scott: “Making out with him is like the yummiest lollipop, dipped in sunshine and wrapped in a masculine wrapper! That’s the only way I can think to describe it.” [ICYDK]
On last night’s Living Lohan, 14-year-old Ali was “tormented” by some classmates who said she needs to stop trying to be like big sister Lindsay. (Well, they have a point.) Naturally, mother bear Dina was appalled, because apparently she forgot about what’s said in all those tabloids she reads every morning over coffee.
Click through for video of the worst bullying in history (except not). CONTINUED »
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. “We have to educate him in this whole tabloidism.” — Dina, Living Lohan
We already knew Joe Simpson was the main reason behind Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo’s breakup, but now more sources are coming forward to reveal exactly how bad things got with Papa Joe. Rumor has it he advised Tony to drop his agent so Joe could take over his NFL career and contract worth almost $70 million. How Tony managed to turn down that offer is beyond us. But it gets better: Joe then informed Tony that if he proposed to Jessica, Joe could “do the same that [he] did with Ashlee.” Meaning he could whore out their precious memories.
But media-savvy Papa Joe fired back, releasing a statement that just makes him sound as ridiculous as ever:
It’s unfair to criticize me for what every manager does for his or her clients. And in this business, where people can quickly turn on you, who better than a parent to be working for his children?
Preach it, Joe! Parent managers are definitely the way to go, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Just look at Dina Lohan.
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