CHAIRMAN MAOSE “Entertainment giant Walt Disney on Monday said it had not yet reached an agreement with the Chinese government to build its first mainland China theme park in Shanghai. A spokeswoman was responding to questions about a report that it was expected to open a 10-square-kilometre (6.2-square-mile) site near Shanghai’s Pudong airport as early as 2012. ‘We have a continuing dialogue with the government about all aspects of our business, including theme parks, but there is no announcement and no deal,’ Disney spokeswoman Alannah Hall-Smith said.”

DISNEY PREPARES A NEW YOUNG GIRL TO BE PIMPED “Disney is in the process of grooming a possible successor to cash cow ‘Hannah Montana’ star Miley Cyrus. Fifteen-year-old Texan, Demi Lovato will release her first solo album on Disney’s Hollywood Records label this fall. The company hopes that by then Lovato will already be a household name in the tween world, thanks to a multimedia blitz that is aggressive even by Disney standards, writes today’s Wall Street Journal. For Disney, there are few more crucial tasks than finding and developing talent that appeals to 8- to 12-year-olds and perpetuating the pipeline of clean-cut Disney Channel stars whose talents can translate across multiple platforms …”

CARTOON MOUSE TO MAKE MORE THAN ZIMBABWE’S GDP “Walt Disney Co. said on Tuesday it expects retail sales of licensed merchandise to top $30 billion worldwide in fiscal 2008, helped by its popular Disney Princess and High School Musical brands. Last year, the company said its sales of licensed Disney merchandise rose to $27 billion, more than doubling from five years earlier.”

• How long til this kid appears on My Super Sweet 16? [DListed]

• Angelina Jolie is upset because Disney has yet to release a film featuring an African princess. Angie should really pick her battles. [ICYDK]

• That Jessica Simpson noise is actually doing pretty well on the charts. Well, at least she’s successful in one aspect of her life. Kind of. [INO]

• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt invade Disneyland. Those poor, poor children. [PS]

• Barack Obama has finally secured the all-important Facebook vote. [SH]

Kevin Federline, America’s scapegoat, assured us again on Tuesday that each one of his many children is destined for the very heights of addiction. This time, Federline lost five-year-old daughter Kori at Disneyland.

Sources told HollyWire that the child, wearing a bright yellow Belle Costume, was left roaming alone near the Finding Nemo ride. When an employee asked her where her parents were, she said she didn’t know.

She was then asked the standard who-what-when-where questions:

Disney employee: What’s your name?

5 year old daughter of K-fed: Kori

Employee: How old are you?

Kori: 5

Employee: What’s your parent’s name?

Kori: Kevin
…
Little did the employee know that “Kevin” meant Kevin Federline! About ten to fifteen minutes after the employee found the lost little Kori, a frantic nanny spotted her and came running over.

Kori went missing despite the fact that Federline, two nannies, two Disnelyand ushers and a bodyguard were present and attempting to keep an eye on the children.

MOVING ON UP “Playboy editor Hugh Hefner says Miley Cyrus will be ‘welcomed in the magazine’ when she’s of legal age. Hefner told Extra that the 15-year-old Hannah Montana star is a ‘very pretty lady.’”

HE SAID, SHE SAID “Miley Cyrus is apologizing to fans ahead of the release of a controversial photograph showing the 15-year-old Disney star semi-topless in the new issue of Vanity Fair, on newsstands this week. ‘I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be “artistic” and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed. … I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.’ Vanity Fair editors were quick to respond: ‘Miley’s parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley.’”

A warrant has reportedly been issued for former Disney star Shia LaBeouf after he skipped out on a court appearance today.

Shia was ticketed in Burbank last month for unlawful smoking — a misdemeanor — outside a gift shop. Smoking? Outside a gift shop? That’s hardcore.

A court appearance was scheduled for this morning at 8:30, but neither Shia nor his lawyer showed up — so a $1,000 bench warrant has been issued for his arrest.

We appreciate the effort, Shia, but you will never be Britney or Lindsay. It was a great attempt at entertaining us, though. Really. Now go back to Walgreens.

[Source]

In her most recent interview with giddy talk show maven Ellen DeGeneres, singer-cum-infant pimper Christina Aguilera talks about the bigness of her breasts, the bigness of her dog, the bigness of her home’s backyard and the bigness of her new DVD. It’s ironic considering the compass of her interests is obviously so very small.

Disney star Vanessa Hudgens is slutting it up for attention again — this time with a sex tape. Vanessa, hon, we understand how it must feel to be used as Zac Efron’s beard, but you’re turning men around the world into pedophiles. It’s weird.

Sources say the 45 second video was taken on a cell phone. Hudgens is shown sitting under a Christmas tree wearing only a red Santa hat and red thong decorated with mistletoe.

‘I want Santa to come up my chimney because I’ve been a good little girl this year,’ Hudgens says.

Leave it to those Disney kids to keep up with the latest sex tape trends. Who knew you could even film that on a cell phone? We’re still trying to figure out the logistics; maybe those young whippersnappers can also teach us how to program that damn DVR while they’re at it.

[Source]

In news for the 13-year-olds, Miley Cyrus, also known as Disney’s Hannah Montana, has legally changed her name. She wasn’t born Miley or Hannah; instead, her parents thought it would be a good idea to name her Destiny Hope. Seriously.

Instead of going the porn route, she decided to change her name to Miley, a play off her nickname “Smiley.” And, in honor of dad Billy Ray Cyrus, she changed her middle name to Ray.

We liked the original name. There was so much potential there.

[Source]

• Black panther is always a good look. [SH]

• Nicolas Cage: “I have never been arrested for anything in my life, nor have I stolen a dog.” [DListed]

• What We Can Learn from Heath Ledger’s Death: Don’t Mix Downs!!! [HuffPo]

• Adam Sandler stands up for Tom Cruise! Read his rant in a weird, screamy voice for authenticity. [EBG]

• Celebrities as Disney characters: Not a stretch. [PS]

• Can you find the irony in this sentence?: “Here’s Kim Kardashian at the beach covering her big fat ass once again. I hate girls that are insecure. It’s the most unattractive quality to have.” [HT]

• Hey, Ashley, where’s your weird sister and her security detail? [INO]

• Two deaths a minute in the new Rambo flick! [ICYDK]

• Celebrity coke dealer talks! [Yeeeah]

• Celeb tats: Don’t do it. [CityRag]

• Oh, that’s why I always cry! [HE]

• Stand by your much more successful friend so that Jay-Z might look favorably upon you when you next need a producer. Right? [DListed]

• Avril Lavigne says she wants to act, clearly forgetting that that’s what her entire persona is. [ICYDK]

• The problems start with the hat and they keep going to the annoyed old lady technique of umbrella-as-weapon. [CityRag]

• Pamela Anderson and that damn magician, again. That goddamn Aryan magician haunts my private moments! [DS]

• Bee Movie does have A-list support. [PopSugar]

• Jessica Alba apparently likes her sex like she likes her film roles: absolutely meaningless. [HT]