Ha! In a case of mistaken career, Dita Von Teese, the woman who strips for a living but gets pissed if you call her a stripper, was asked by Prince Charles to perform for his son, Prince Harry, at Harry's birthday party in September.
Charles unwittingly hired the stripper after they met at the Cartier International Polo Tournament and she told him she was a "dancer," forgetting to add that her routine closes with her breasts slick with soapy water and topped by glittery pasties. Oh, won't the Queen be pleased!
We don't know what's sadder: The fact that some of these famewhores (Mekhi and Dita not included) were invited to the PokerStars.net Burlesque Party last night in Vegas or the fact that we can name most of these people.
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Scarlett Johansson wasted no time in debuting her engagement ring from fiancé Ryan Reynolds at last night's Costume Institute Gala at NYC's Metropolitan Museum of Art. Pretty much every celebrity you can imagine was in attendance (except for Reynolds), and 95 percent of the wardrobe choices made our heart cry.
Click through for more pictures than you could have ever asked for. CONTINUED »
Just as liquor sells sex, sex sells liquor. Such is the reason one hires Dita Von Teese to shill tipple despite the fact that it looks like she hasn't had a hot meal or stiff drink in days.
Last night in New York, Von Teese and alcohol brand Cointreau held a party to celebrate booze and Von Teese's sexuality; the results were predictable.
After the jump, Von Teese performing her martini glass routine for the millionth time. (Possibly NSFW.)
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Say it ain't so! Her dude is a heart breaker!
…at Clive Davis' pre-Grammys bash at the Beverly Hilton…Love was definitely in the air all night…Dita Von Teese was caught getting snuggly with Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean.
Queen of Pilates Madonna partnered with Gucci last night to host a UNICEF charity dinner and auction. Celebrities came out in droves to wear Gucci clothing, fatten themselves on rich cuisine ("tart of goat cheese, foraged mushrooms, truffled mashed potatoes") and bid on extravagant leisure opportunities, all for the benefit of those who can't afford such luxuries.
Tom Cruise bid $100,000 for the opportunity to convert play sports with Alex Rodriguez and David Beckham, but was summarily outbid by more than 200 grand. "But how will he write a check with no fingers?" an insider heard Cruise whisper. The action star was then quiet for the remainder of the evening.
Later, an attendee paid $600,000 to take a dance class with Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow.
Stand up straight, all you lanky ladies! Accept and find joy in your oddities the way your paler, shorter sisters have. You're just as beautiful as them (and richer)!
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This upsets us for reasons we can only feel, not describe:
…as he browsed at Kari Feinstein's suite at Social Hollywood in LA last week, [Jeremy Piven] was forced to come clean about the identity of his "brunette and curvy" lady friend because he didn't know her size. He finally told the clerk the dresses were for [Dita] Von Teese…Von Teese's lawyer, Keith Fink, told us Piven has seen her performance and he shyly said hello to her when he ran into her at an LA newsstand right before he bought the dresses. "She is single, and she's not dating, so he should step up to the plate because there's a lot of guys interested," said Fink.
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Who is keeping The Tyra Banks Show on the air?
In this clip, a characteristically overeager Banks has rapper Bow Wow sit on her lap for the sex talk he never got during his fatherless childhood. She makes a joke of it and tells him that when a man loves a woman, he "puts his flower stem all over her petals."
Banks then asks the young man to reveal his crush. It's on musician/actress Eve (who, it just so happens, is there). Banks gets excited before making guest Dita Von Teese, now a third wheel, trade places with Eve so that she can sit next to Bow Wow and dish.
It's very awkward to watch, and it's very frustrating to know that many people must like that feeling, as the show continues its daily frenzied press into American homes.
Eve, you made your point and the rap thing's now over. These days, you're going to black tie charity functions in shimmering frocks. Get thee to a laser technician.
After the jump, many more from the 7th on Sale Black Tie Gala Dinner.
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• A gross amount of guns. [SH]
• Steven Tyler's gross throat. [DListed]
• Josh Hartnett's gross movie. [PS]
• Heidi Montag's gross pleas for attention. [HT]
• A gross leg grossing around after years of its owner being grossed out by food. [INO]
• Nothing gross here. [ICYDK]
• Any number of gross things here. [Yeeeah]
• Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard being gross and copping a feel. [CityRag]
With Frenchmen losing their baguettes over the election of Sarko the America Lover, it's good to see Dita Von Teese over there serving as an ambassador for our country. It's like, "Alright, France: Granted she's got fake tits, but she covers them up with an impeccable wool suit that goes past her knees. See? It's vain materialism, but it's also humble refinement. America's not that bad. What? Pamela Anderson? Oh, no. She's dead. Don't worry about her."
After the jump, more of an American stripper in Paris.
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Nice mom-over, Bore Vidal! Where's the corset and the thong and the lubricious bosom and the pasties and the jumbo Martini glass? The curtain has been torn asunder; the Wizard is in flats!
The UK edition of Elle looks to have wasted four perfectly good pages in their magazine to talk brooding with Evan Rachel Wood, who has become noticeably Dita-ish after coupling up with "Manson." Quick nugget of truth: People who are constantly telling the press how deeply in love they are aren't deeply in love, even if that love is blessed by Satan.
Full article under here.
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Spectrophilia is the paraphilia involving sexual attraction to ghosts and spirits. It may include looking for the appearance of the ghost or spirit in a mirror. People who have this fetish may stimulate themselves against mirrors and have sexual fantasies of ghosts. They often leave windows open and imagine ghosts when they masturbate.
Erm…
Not that it's not honest work, but do you ever get the feeling that this woman could do a whole lot more with her life than just stay out of the sun and hold up tubes of lipstick?
More wasted talent after the jump.
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If those anthropologists are correct, and the reason women wear lipstick is in order to make their mouths look like engorged labia, then a burlesque show in which a woman strips down and grinds her crotch into a giant, phallic tube of lipstick is intensely odd; because it's like she's arousing herself on a penis made of vaginas.
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Dita Von Teese's act is starting to get as stale as the bedroom behavior of a Mormon accountant. If she's not careful her fans might start getting their burlesque from their younger, wilder secretaries.
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