• What really matters in this presidential election: The ability to grow a beautiful mullet. [CityRag]

• Britney Spears shows some self-awareness: "My father saved my life. I probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him." [INO]

• Dog the Bounty Hunter or his wife Beth: Who would you rather do? [DListed]

• Oh, phew. Christina Aguilera's red lipstick is back. [PS]

• Madonna's tour minions are threatening to quit. At least Madge still has her crotch. [Yeeeah]

• Spencer Pratt's problem with John McCain: "Not picking Heidi for the vice president. It’s just cold." [ICYDK]

Dog the Bounty Hunter, fan of Hawaiian sunsets, capturing human beings and using the word nigger as often as possible, is returning to television next month. Cable network A&E will begin airing reruns of Dog's show on June 25 and new episodes a few weeks after that.

"It's not about ratings," said a liar from A&E, totally lying. "We know his heart. We know him and know he's not a racist."

Dog the Not-Bigot is just glad to be back doing what he loves: stalking and arresting destitute brown men for the enjoyment of people watching television.

Dog the Bounty Hunter, the mulleted, ex-con-cum-manhunter naïve people were shocked to discover was a little racist, is getting back his reality show.

A&E, the network that had aired the exploits of Dog as he pursued of some of Hawaii's hardest criminals, yanked the program in November of last year when a tape surfaced of the hunter casually using the word "nigger" while speaking with one of his sons.

Though probably more ashamed of being caught than being bigoted, Dog took his time away from television to grovel at the feet of blacks and black organizations around the country, which apparently is all anyone wanted from him: "…network execs were 'very pleased' with Dog's attempt to make amends and his reaching out to members of the African American community."

Wonderful! Now we can all get back to feeling fine about watching a poor, uneducated white man hunt and proselytize to poor, uneducated brown men.

REALLY GOOD RACISTS Sister blog Stereohyped has compiled a list of the top celebrity racists of the year. (We smell a new reality show!) Though Dog the Bounty Hunter was a strong competitor in the racist races, we think the awesomest bigot of 2007 was the Nobel Laureate who said people whom have dealt with black employees must certainly realize that blacks aren't equal. Sorry, Hauslaib!

Hip(pie?) parenting site Babble has named Britney Spears 2007's worst celebrity parent. Her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, was chosen as the second worst.

The former couple's childrearing skills were considered worse than those of known drug addict Bobby Brown and vehement bigot Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Congratulations, guys!

• Amazing screen graphic: "Don't know what Nas' new album is called? Check out our Dog interview." HA! [SH]

• Who are we to say Heidi Montag will never win an Oscar? Sentient beings, that's who. Now cut the shit, Montag. [DListed]

• This gruesome twosome is still quite a bore. [EBG]

• Television show Chuck was honored last evening. Presumably for even existing. [PS]

• Models modeling. Do you care? [HT]

• If it'll make you feel better about things, you can dress like Cameron Diaz. It's pretty easy. [INO]

• Uncle Jesse involved in a mile high scuffle. [ICYDK]

• Le Call: Le nuevo novia de Owen Wilson. [Yeeeah]

• How do women not know when this is happening? They must know, right? [CityRag]

The merry little dance the media does around the word "nigger" has gotten truly nauseous with this: CNN is now using the term "N-BOMB"!!!!!!! N-BOMB! Good god, is everyone five-years-old? How is anything getting accomplished? AHHHHHHHHHH!

Anyway, now Dog is saying his racist tirade is partially due to his limited vocabulary, which has long prevented him from purely expressing himself. And who knows? With a little education, he might soon be able to banish his sons from dating spooks, jigaboos, golliwogs and spear chuckers.

Dog the Bounty Hunter, the not-racist whose lexicon relies so heavily on the word "nigger" that he would rather not be around black people than stop saying it, appeared on Fox News last evening to change his explanation for his perceived enthusiasm for bigotry from "I was angry" to "I was using it the way black people use it."

CONTINUED »

Who let the Dog's racist bombast out? Who, who, who, who? "His nigger-loving son," that's who. And for a pretty penny. Thanksgiving's gonna be awkward!

Hawaiian man hunter Dog, seen here either preparing to choke a dark guy or demanding he shut his black mouth, has issued an apology today for his n(igger)-word laden tirade against his son's new black girlfriend. The racist rant was secretly recorded and then released to the National Enquirer, thereby shaming the ex-convict who had spent his post-prison years making a name for himself by stalking and capturing indigent human beings. Somehow, many people were shocked to hear he's a little racist. Here's his explanation to those innocents:

I am deeply disappointed in myself for speaking out of anger to my son and using such a hateful term in a private phone conversation. It was completely taken out of context. I was disappointed in his choice of a friend, not due to her race, but her character. However, I should have never used that term. I have the utmost respect and aloha for black people…

"I have the utmost respect and aloha for black people…"? Hey, Jossip Initiatives, I think we just found a new Stereohyped shirt.

• This is the best thing we've ever seen on YouTube. That's not hyperbole. Ever. It's perfect. [Queerty]

• Dog the Bounty Hunter doesn't hate niggers, he just don't want his kids dating no niggers because he's afraid one of them niggers might hear him saying nigger, and then they'd go running their nigger mouth to the Enquirer and he loses his business. See how that's not racist? [DListed]

• More charity balls for Africa! I hope they appreciate all the hard work everyone's doing for them. [PS]

• Celebrity fairy tales (besides their real lives). [INO]

• Woman sues Paris Hilton for "stealing her style." We're watching the world fall apart, people! Ain't it exciting? [ICYDK]

• Milk still hasn't come up with a better marketing plan? [HT]

• Owen Wilson finding reason to live with Jessica Simpson. [Yeeeah]

• Hollywood monster Photoshop. [CityRag]

• Dude, she just wanted your extra time and your kiss. [DListed]

• Bruce Willis confusing "putting a price on someone's head" with "metaphor." [StarPulse]

• That's why you're not supposed to bring Dogs on flights. [Glitterati]

• Akon's mock sex partner lied, people thought it was acceptable to dry hump her. [Yeeeah]

• A literally corny Paris Hilton story. [CityRag]

• No more secrets. [ICYDK]

• Martha Stewart giving Lohan the judgmental third degree you'd expect from a matronly, bitchy ex-con. [Gawker]

• Fergie getting celebrity fit. No club. [HT]