AMERICAN PRICK SELLS GAUDY MONSTROSITY TO RUSSIAN PRICK "Real estate mogul Donald Trump closed the sale of a Palm Beach mansion to a Russian billionaire Tuesday for the blockbuster price of $95 million. 'I love breaking records,' Trump said Wednesday, 'and this is a record.' It's believed to be the most expensive single-family home ever sold in the United States."
Donald Trump always likes a good feud, especially when the matter at hand has absolutely nothing to do with him. His latest victim is Anne Hathaway, who we imagine has enough to deal with at the moment. Evidently Donald is offended by Anne's lack of loyalty to con artist Raffaello Follieri (who spent the majority of his weasel-y time holed up in one of Trump's residential buildings), and he's telling everyone about it:
She hasn't remained very loyal to him, has she? So when he had plenty of money, she liked him, but then after that, not as good, right?
Well, you would know all about women only liking men for money, wouldn't you, Donald?
[Source]
Dubai government developer Nakheel hopes to sell a penthouse in Donald Trump's towers on Dubai's first artificial island for more than $30m, which would smash the emirate's record for its most expensive apartment.
The two towers of the Trump International Hotel & Tower, scheduled for completion in 2011, will form the gateway to Palm Jumeirah, the offshore development that will host a permanent residence for the Cirque du Soleil and the retired QE2 cruise liner, along with hotels, apartments and villas.
…
Mr Trump has reserved one of the development's 399 residences for himself. The project has already received bids as high as $3,270 a sq ft in pre-sales before yesterday's launch. The $1.1bn development, a joint venture with Nakheel, is the US magnate's first foray into the Middle East.
[Source]
• John McCain believes bringing troops from Iraq is "not too important." But does he have a cute biking outfit? [SH]
• A plethora of celebrities took a break from being photographed outside LA nightclubs to be photographed at an LA sporting event. [PS]
• George Clooney reportedly broke up with Sarah Larson because she decided to get a boob job. Fair enough. [INO]
• Country singer Taylor Swift will attempt to steal the spotlight from Miley Cyrus in the upcoming Hannah Montana movie. [ICYDK]
• Donald Trump's headpiece actually moves. [DListed]
It has descended upon us: The Sex and the City movie premiered last night in New York City, much to the delight of … Eli Manning? He was one of the guests in attendance, for reasons unknown, at the type of over-the-top shindig that should only be reserved for stuff like the second coming of Xenu.
The pictures (and there are many) are after the jump. CONTINUED »
There are two sides to all celebrities: The squeaky-clean images forced upon the public by PR reps and their actual personalities. To provide you with a glimpse into the real Hollywood characters are Mollygood's very own readers, telling tales of celebrity encounters big and small. Up this week: Reader JoAnn's sighting of greasy Brandon Davis. CONTINUED »
• Best "Afternoon Aural" in a long time. [Queerty]
• Heather Mills will be a contestant on next season's Celebrity Apprentice. Because a $50 million divorce settlement can't buy a person the common sense to not be on a reality show. [DListed]
• When in Rome, film commercials you'd be embarrassed to film in America. [PS]
• "There was a definite shift in my life when I decided to [dye my hair red]." Amy Adams, an actress, actually said that. [INO]
• Ashton Kutcher says he is not opposed to adopting a child. We certainly hope adoption agencies are opposed to letting Ashton Kutcher adopt a child. [ICYDK]
• Teeny-tiny girls in high heels! Thanks, Beyonce, you maniac. [Yeeeah]
• Mickey Rourke has a posse. [CityRag]
OJ Simpson, slippery with so much blood, reportedly wants to be a contestant on the new season of Donald Trump's celeb-reality show, Celebrity Apprentice. Ratings whore that he is, Trump is said to be considering the idea, despite the fact that most people agree Simpson stabbed two people to death and then lied about it. Silver lining: a fired OJ Simpson might mercilessly beat the everloving shit out of Donald Trump.
Part of country singer Trace Adkins' task during the Celebrity Apprentice's final showdown is dealing with the Backstreet Boys. The boy banders seem to think they're still relevant, as witnessed by their list of outrageous demands at a charity event. Somehow he managed to not kill them, and for that alone he should win the title.
It's confusing to see Carlos Santana, legendary guitarist and "activist," stumping for Macy's; it's downright depressing to see that, for the commercial, he's got to both appear to be a hustling busker playing in a mall and hang out with Mariah Carey.
Barron Trump, with his supermodel mother and supertool father, attended the 17th annual Bunny Hop in NYC. Where's his combover? What about the awkward pursed lips stare? That kid is going to shame the family.
[Source]
SCROOGED "Donald Trump…didn't tip a Santa Monica waiter $10,000 on Monday. The tycoon says he wasn't even in California…'This was done by the stupid restaurant to get publicity,' he said. '…It's not my signature.'" You may now go back to hating him unconditionally.
• Ha! [YouTube]
• Donald Trump leaves a $10,000 tip! "A buck for every pound of lard in Rosie's fat ass," he's heard to proclaim. [DListed]
•l Punk'd! [PS]
• Despite the rumors, after seeing these pictures we wager the implants have not been removed. [HT]
• With Harry Potter over and your 18th birthday approaching, get ready for the real sharks, young thing. [INO]
• Hollywood blackmail! [ICYDK]
• Maybe lots of surgery will solve life's woes. Worth a shot if one's a sad maniac, right? [Yeeeah]
• Welp, then there's this. [CityRag]
Contrary to early speculation, Paris Hilton will not be a participant in Donald Trump's newest foray into prime time mediocrity, Celebrity Apprentice. Contrary to good taste, the show will go on. Beyond the jump, the participants.
CONTINUED »
Author, rich kid and all around bad person Donald Trump felt it necessary to stammer out this blind opinion about Angelina Jolie's physical attractiveness:
"Angelina Jolie is sort of amazing because everyone thinks she's like this great beauty. And I'm not saying she's an unattractive woman, but she's not beauty, by any stretch of the imagination. I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she's not — I do own Miss Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."
If you've ever looked – to no avail – for a saying that is indicative of every single thing that has gone wrong in the world, you've finally found it.
Iraq: "I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."
Racism: "I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."
School Shootings: "I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."
You get the idea.
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is eeks:
Thank God for that “r” -
“Crocker” does not need any
encouragement, geeze!
While that one was well done, had the syllable count been correct, iwishiwasbadass could have been the clear victor.
New one under here.
CONTINUED »
Trump Vodka trumped Grey Goose in recent reviews in the Spirit Journal, the bible of the booze business. Trump's hooch received four out of five stars because it "finishes elegantly, oily/creamy, and snack cracker like." Grey Goose, which 10 years ago also received four stars, has now been downgraded to just two.
So expect to see a new brand in the hands of all the conspicuous half-wits with gelled hair who demand bottle service every time they go out. If you see that "T," you'll know to avoid that guy.
[Source]
Page Six is reporting that Rosie O'Donnell will use her new book, Celebrity Detox, to be released October 2, to once again berate Donald Trump, rekindling a months-old feud nobody ever started caring about.
O'Donnell writes about the Tara Connor scandal - in which Miss USA was caught drinking underage and tested positive for cocaine but was allowed to enter rehab and retain her title - "It is Trump's falseness that angers me more than anything . . . I spoke my mind. People found it funny.
"I honestly did not anticipate the malice of his response . . . I assumed Donald believed he had money. I did not assume Donald believed he was money. But apparently he does . . . The stuffing of his self spilled out - think of a torn scarecrow, only instead of hay, it's crisp $100 bills blowing through the cornfields."
Trump reminded O'Donnell of "garden slugs . . . I could write one small comment on my blog, and Donald would predictably distend, flowing forth with a torrent of insults . . . Then he'd appear on some talk show looking wrinkled, old and empty, with a Jell-O orange combover.
Expect a calm, dignified and mature response from Trump; one that's indicative of his age and success.
[Source]
Editor
