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Look out, Kamari Fulbright, you have a bit of company for this year’s Best Act of Violence Against a Boyfriend Award.

Elyse Sewell – from the first season of America’s Next Top Model – and her boyfriend, Marty Crandall from The Shins, were arrested on Friday night for domestic abuse.

Elyse Sewell documented the stunning development on her blog:

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On the drive home from Albuquerque to Portland, my ex-boyfriend got s-itfaced and roughed me up in a Sacramento hotel. I escaped from the room through a blitzkrieg of violence and talked to hotel security, who called the fuzz.

Because he had a bite mark, inflicted in self-defense, on his arm, Marty told the police to PRESS CHARGES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST ME. Now I am a felon. Jailors. America’s Next Top Model fans, all. As the warden took pics of my bloody knuckles for evidence (!!!! evidence!), he quipped, “So there goes that hand modeling job, huh? What’s Tyra going to say about this?”

And here is how I was summoned from the holding cell for a strip-search, complete with a thorough plumbing of the boodissy: “Hey, Supermodel! Git over here!”

Elyse Sewell was bailed out, but Martin Crandall remains in jail; both must stick around Sacramento until their court hearing tomorrow.

We can’t say who is at fault here, but we can appreciate anyone that uses the words “blitzkrieg” and “fuzz” in an account of events such as this.