• Gerard Butler is searching for his “dream girl” who he says disappeared during a date a few years ago. OK, fine. It was me. [ICYDK]

• Rich people have problems, too: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel fight over refrigerator space. [INO]

• Blake Lively’s puppy is not above peeing on her owner, now matter how famous she may be. [PS]

• Janet Jackson manages to look both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. [SH]

• Mario Lopez on Eva Longoria: “We never dated. Unfortunately. We met a long time ago, and she was always with somebody or I was with somebody.” Not like that’s stopped him before. [DListed]

[Source]

Eva Longoria, who has done a respectable job of attempting to stay out of the spotlight lately, finally decided she needed attention. So, naturally, she threw on a loose-fitting dress and placed objects in front of her stomach while parading in front of the Manhattan paparazzi in order to fuel pregnancy rumors. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

[Source]

The CFDA Fashion Awards, held last night at the New York Public Library, honored excellence in fashion design but also served as a venue for Victoria Beckham to crash as many photo opportunities as possible.

After the jump: How many Poshes can you find?

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Texan Eva Longoria visited her old stomping grounds, a Corpus Christi Wendy’s, to kick off Father’s Day Frosty Weekend. At first we were confused as to why a 99 cent ice cream treat required the presence of a celebrity, but turns out it’s for charity. It always is.

[Source]

Scarlett Johansson wasted no time in debuting her engagement ring from fiancé Ryan Reynolds at last night’s Costume Institute Gala at NYC’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. Pretty much every celebrity you can imagine was in attendance (except for Reynolds), and 95 percent of the wardrobe choices made our heart cry.

Click through for more pictures than you could have ever asked for.

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Last night was the LA premiere of What Happens In Vegas, and Bai Ling decided it would be appropriate to show up in an outfit that might happen in your grandmother’s attic.

[Source]

In Touch picked up on sister mag Life & Style’s Suri Cruise obsession this week with stalker photos and insider details surrounding the tot’s birthday party.

Tom Cruise reportedly spent $100,000 on the extravaganza, which is so ridiculous we don’t even need to say anything about it. The cost included $17,000 for fresh flowers, $45,000 on catering and $5,000 for cakes. But these weren’t just any pastries: Each guest received a personalized cake and Suri was treated to a four-tier cake covered in buttercream frosting, bumblebees and butterflies. Oh, and Katie received $230 worth of Sprinkles cupcakes. Who knew she ate?

The celebration continued into the evening when Tom and Katie invited their own friends — including Eva Longoria Parker, David and Victoria Beckham, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, and Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy — to a private bash. Because we’re sure that was on Suri’s wishlist.

It’s a good thing they pulled out all the stops for this milestone birthday, seeing as how Suri likely had already forgotten about it by breakfast.

[Source]

According to a couple top 10 lists from the Huffington Post, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama’s bestest, most awesome celebrity supporters are both talk show hosts. Clinton’s got Ellen DeGeneres and Obama’s repped by Oprah. Clinton also has the backing of Eva Longoria and Magic Johnson, while Obama counts Chris Rock and some Kennedys as fans. None of this should matter, but, remember, 45 percent of American adults put stock in the recommendations of celebrities. Which reminds us of a quote from our favorite politician: “The best argument against democracy is five minutes with the average voter.”

In Style magazine takes us into star closets in their latest issue. Inside the palatial walk-ins, it’s an age-old contradiction: such full wardrobes and such empty people.

Jamie-Lynn Sigler laughs that, until she paid to have her closet organized, she would often come across clothes she forgot she had. “With the tags still on them!” she howls. Mariah Carey boasts of owning over 1,000 pairs of shoes, many of which go unused in storage. Kimora Lee Simmons has 500 pairs of jeans in her 49,000-square-foot home.

Even though it is inanely sized, Mariah Carey’s shoe collection could only outfit one percent of the homeless schoolchildren in California.

Ashton Kutcher’s new show, Pop Fiction, was created to turn the tables on the tabloids, but magazine editors aren’t buying it. Apparently Life & Style stalkers staffers are so observant they can spot Ashton’s shenanigans right away, so — unless Britney turns out to have been sane this whole time — the joke has fallen flat.

It’s mostly a lot of D-listers we don’t care about. [We] wouldn’t cover anyone on that show — with the exception of Avril. This show won’t go anywhere. No one is watching it.

In Hollywood, anytime anyone decides to be in on the joke and critique themselves, no one cares. It’s not having the effect they thought it would. No one can sympathize with celebs. They’re always in on it themselves, whether they’re pulling the joke or not.

We’re not surprised by this development, but nobody is believing that the mags don’t care about anyone except Avril, seeing as how Paris and Eva have graced many a cover. Don’t act like you’re above them, tabs. No one’s buying it.

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Eva Longoria’s recent stint on Pop Fiction, in which she poked fun at everyone who said her marriage to Tony Parker was on the rocks, seems to be backfiring. Either she removed the tattoo of her wedding date from the inside of her wrist because she and Tony are seconds from Splitsville, or she actually enjoys making the paparazzi and general public doubt the state of her marriage.

We’re betting Tony has had enough of that laugh.

[Source]

Pop Fiction’s latest prank included Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez, as we originally suspected. But what we didn’t anticipate was Eva’s terrible cackling laugh — if that can’t keep the paps away, no Ashton Kutcher-produced prank ever will.

Pop Fiction, the reality show promoted by our dear Mollygood spammers, seems to have peaked during its first episode. The premiere, which featured paparazzi pranks by Paris Hilton and Avril Lavigne, wasn’t all that exciting, but upcoming episodes seem lamer than we thought possible.

Here is a scene from the latest prank, which shows Mario Lopez presenting pal Eva Longoria with a ridiculously expensive Cartier necklace. Hilarious, considering the paps and media didn’t really seem to care much about it at all. Good one, Ashton.

[Source]

• “Harry Potter’s Gay Kiss” [DListed]

• How was Eva Longoria, who shook us to the core with a dazzling turn as a jealous ghost in Over Her Dead Body, not invited to the Oscars? [PS]

• Bones will break in a fourth Bourne installment. [ICYDK]

• The Academy’s snub of Whoopi brings the women of The View closer than they’ve ever been. Fight back your tears. [INO]

• Doesn’t that hurt? [HT]

• “Cher or Drag Cher?” [CityRag]

Forbes released a list of Hollywood’s most influential couples — and we have some issues with it.

Who shouldn’t be on the list: Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. Seriously? The only thing that couple influences is our desire to vomit. And then there’s Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, who we thought broke up three years ago.

Who should be on the list: Britney Spears and frappuccinos. If those two don’t go the distance, there’s no hope for any of us.

The full list, after the jump.

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• Original emo! Suck it, Wentz! [Queerty]

• Kirsten Dunst is in Cirque Lodge with Eva Mendes. It’s the newest hot spot! Put it in your BlackBerrys, biatches. [DListed]

• Those stems! [CityRag]

• Fall fashion rundown! Do you love it yet? Do you finally believe in it? [PS]

• Christina Aguilera voted. Diddy, a man of his word, said he will spare her. [HT]

• Desperate airbrushing. [INO]

• First pictures of the uncrazy Britney Spears. [ICYDK]

Eva Longoria, who is currently on a promotional tour for some new pile of garbage that inexplicably co-stars Paul Rudd, recently admitted that she and her biological family are a bunch of filthy bigots:

Longoria…said: “I was the darkest one of my family. I was the only one with black hair and the only one with dark skin. All my sisters were light blondes with hazel eyes. They used to call me ugly duckling…I grew up without being beautiful so I kind of relied on my personality and my character.”

Because God knows you can’t be beautiful with dark hair and skin.

Above: Longoria with her absolutely hideous father-in-law, himself a darkie.

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We thought that maybe Eva Longoria just had a lapse of judgment when she decided to star in Over Her Dead Body, which premiered last night in LA. But apparently she’s continuing to make bad decisions, like voicing her plans on haunting hubby Tony Parker after she dies:

I would sabotage every relationship he is in. I would not let him move on, I’d just lay in bed and watch him.

He’s not doing anything without me. I’d be like, ‘If I’m going to the afterlife, you’re coming with me.’

Listen, just because you’re Eva Longoria doesn’t mean you can spew the crazy and not creep everyone out.

[Source]