What a response! It's slightly heartwarming to know that I'm not the only one with psychotic Facebook friends — but it's also frightening to realize just how many crazy people are out there. Thanks to the overwhelming number of entries for Most Ignorant Facebook User Ever, we've broken it down into sections. Enjoy (and weep for our country)!
Apparently this anti-Obama Facebook phenomenon is really getting out of control and, luckily, some ignorant crazies are being forced to pay the consequences. Meet Buck Burnette, a football player for the University of Texas and blatant racist. Shortly after the election, his status read: "all the hunters gather up, we have a #$%&er in the whitehouse." Classy guy, that Buck.
As you can imagine, coach Mack Brown kicked him off the team immediately. Buck then issued an apology that was obviously not written by him. CONTINUED »
KEEP SENDING IN YOUR CRAZY FACEBOOK FRIENDS' STATUSES There's still time! We'll do a round-up tomorrow, so if you have any disturbing Facebook statuses from your sad Republican friends, send them in: whitney@mollygood.com.
The most entertaining portion of last night's election coverage wasn't on CNN or FOX News — it was on Facebook, where all of the crazies congregated to update their statuses in rapid succession. As you may know, I spent the first 22 years of my life in Texas, so 90 percent of my friends on the networking site are Republicans. I did not know, however, that most of them are also clinically insane.
After the jump, my top 10 favorite (and by favorite I mean infuriating) statuses from the aftermath of Barack Obama's victory — and yes, the picture at left is someone's actual Facebook photo.
Oh, and the names have been hidden to protect the ignorant.
Update: E-mail me any appalling statuses you find on your friends' Facebook pages! E-mail to: whitney@mollygood.com.
Facebook has caught on to the Spaghetti Cat craze, which has officially legitimized the feline's celebrity. But unfortunately for SC, who is now featured in the SuperPoke application, he is being falsely represented by a Hello Kitty impostor (as accurately pointed out by rumour has it). Would it have killed the designers to at least make the cat black, if they weren't going to use the actual image of SC? This is an outrage.
You didn't think we had forgotten about the weekly advice dished out by Spencer Pratt, did you? America's favorite d-bag is back, and this time he's advising a gay man on how to manipulate and humiliate his straight friends. Spencer dispenses a golden nugget of wisdom in which he points out that, without evidence, you have no case. So that whole thing where you and Heidi went on every talk show imaginable and declared that there really was an LC sex tape but no proof — what was that about?
It's called taking your own advice. Try it.
MYSPACE DEFRIENDED BY FACEBOOK? "News Corp. executives worked Wednesday to bolster investor confidence for MySpace, the online social network it won praise for buying in 2005 but lately has attracted concern from Wall Street. Chief Operating Officer Peter Chernin acknowledged that Fox Interactive Media, which includes MySpace, would fall 10% short of revenue projections for the fiscal year."
• Say hello to the newest (and most likely fake) member of Facebook: Lindsay Ronson. [DListed]
• Beyonce and Jay-Z's marriage is official. Thank goodness, we were very concerned. [People]
• This should crush the two people who cared: Britney Spears' second How I Met Your Mother appearance is not yet set in stone. [PS]
• Evidently Harry Potter hasn't heard of Craig's List Missed Connections. [ICYDK]
• Eva Mendes didn't feel the need to brush her hair for the Metropolitan Opera opening night. [INO]
• Surprise, surprise: New photos have cropped up of Lindsay Lohan in a drunken coma. [CityRag]
Join the Mollygood Facebook group, so Whitney doesn't feel lonely.
And while you're at it, we want to hear about your celebrity encounters! We've been stalking your comments and know many of you have come across quite a few celebs. Mae worked with Jesse McCartney, NinjaPunk dealt with Hayden Panettiere and Ruby Jackson kinda tried to seduce Charlie Sheen. We know you all have more stories to share — even if it's just about a jerk like Tyson Beckford refusing to take a picture with you — so e-mail Whitney [whitney@mollygood.com] with your experiences, photos, videos, ramblings and what have you.
Sunday's 60 Minutes profile of FaceSpace wunderkind Mark Zuckerberg drew a season-low number of viewers, about five million less than average. Jossip's take on the downturn: "Young people don’t watch old people TV."
And that may be, but don't the numbers also indicate that old people don't like to watch young people on TV? Regardless of whether or not said young people are partially responsible for the phenomenon of cutely-named, oddly-hyped social-networking sites? And doesn't this in some way augur an eventual inverse relationship between the year and the membership of current social-networking sites; with aging twentysomethings finding them too juvenile and the young and technologically savvy finding them too passé?
Perhaps the billionaire investors staking claims on these sites should take their noses out of the Journal and spend some time with the idiot box.
You know how you've got all your favorite movies and music and boyfriends up on your FaceSpace page? Well all that minutia your "friends" gloss over on their way to new potluck pics (or whatever) can say a lot about you and what you want to buy, so much so that your likes and dislikes are a commodity to people who want you to buy what they sell.
So can you guess what happened today? Facebook introduced a service that will allow advertisers to mine your profile for information so that they might better indoctrinate you. Can you believe it? Of course you can. Now get ready for all the gun manufacturers advertising to everyone terrified of zombies. (Seriously, though, what's that zombie shit all about?)
• As they should be, MTV is now so self-loathing! [CR]
• Here's other's picks for the handsomest Affleck brother. I don't see it. [PS]
• Whoops! [HT]
• "Love It or Hate It: The Fringe"? Fringe! [INO]
• Comic book nerds click here! [ICYDK]
• Xanax: The Healthiest of Addictions. [Yeeeah]
• Ozzy-cats. [CityRag]
• Facebook survey results! Find out if you're as hurt by poke declines as everyone else! [Jossip]
While this cartoon accurately portrays my feelings about Facebook and other social networking sites, it doesn't accurately portray my behavior. Pathetic, indeed, but I'm trying to quit. How about you? Brother blog Jossip wants your take on the 'book and how deep your addiction runs. The answers you provide will be completely anonymous, meaning only you will know the shameful amount of importance you place on the "Relationship Status" setting. Take the survey here.
Editor
