Heidi Montag, one of the only members of Young Hollywood brave — or foolish — enough to publicly support John McCain, is quickly inserting herself into the GOP. She and Spencer Pratt dined with (in the vicinity of) George Bush at this year’s White House Correspondents Dinner, and yesterday she grabbed lunch with McCain’s daughter Meghan, who runs that blog. They ate at The Ivy, a spot where many famous people go to avoid being photographed by the paparazzi. Except, egads, the paps found ‘em! And they were tres interested in what they were up to! Well, not so much Meghan, because they didn’t have a clue who she was.
George W. Bush, seen here exchanging chest love with a young military man, will tour the nation to console the millions and millions of people who have suffered under his presidency, according to Onion News Network.
This past weekend’s Texas Republican state convention was a breeding ground for people who love their Bibles, guns and George W. Bush. I’m generalizing, but, coming from a small Texas town, I can assure you the stereotype holds true more often than not. These buttons, which were sold at the convention, prove my point (and remind me why I left the state to begin with).
• John McCain believes bringing troops from Iraq is “not too important.” But does he have a cute biking outfit? [SH]
• A plethora of celebrities took a break from being photographed outside LA nightclubs to be photographed at an LA sporting event. [PS]
• George Clooney reportedly broke up with Sarah Larson because she decided to get a boob job. Fair enough. [INO]
• Country singer Taylor Swift will attempt to steal the spotlight from Miley Cyrus in the upcoming Hannah Montana movie. [ICYDK]
• Donald Trump’s headpiece actually moves. [DListed]
American Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, explaining why he originally didn’t want George W. Bush to appear on the show’s charity episode:
We didn’t ask the President this year to say anything because we are all a bit embarrassed about him, and the office insisted that, because the [primary] candidates were on it, the President would like to come on and say ‘thank you.’
[Source]
THAT’S OUR SEANY BOY! “At the opening day jury press conference [at Cannes], Sean Penn made a pitch for the first-ever jury prexy’s choice screening of the tsunami doc ‘The Third Wave;’ called George W. Bush’s politics ‘evil,’ and said, ‘film is about art, and art is about love. The brain has a purpose in connecting with the heart. When someone works without a brain or a heart they kill thousands of people around the world.’ Admitting that he was ‘not comfortable in a group of people like this,’ Penn asked one journo, ‘can you get me a drink?’”
The polar bear was today recognized by the Bush administration as a “threatened” species. This means that, under the Endangered Species Act, the majestic, apex predator of the Arctic is just one step away from endangered and two steps away from extinction.
Indeed, scientists are concerned. But the Bush administration doesn’t give a fuck about scientists. Nor do they give a fuck about you, your kids or your kid’s kids. That’s why there’s this little addendum:
A threatened listing under the Endangered Species Act (ESA) is supposed to provide broad protection to polar bears. Greenpeace, however, noted an exemption (technically known as a 4d exemption) for global warming pollution contained in the ruling.
“Global warming is the biggest threat facing polar bears and this exemption eliminates any real protection the listing could have provided,” the group said. “It specifically says federal agencies don’t need to consider the impact of global warming pollution on the polar bear.
“This might look like a listing to protect the polar bear but it’s really just a way for the administration to protect the interests of the oil and gas industry, as well as get away without taking action on global warming.”
Here, President George W Bush poses with daughter Jenna at her Texas wedding on Saturday. Over 200 friends and relatives looked on as the bride, in a custom Oscar de la Renta gown, was married to Henry Hager, an MBA candidate and son of Virginia’s GOP head.
How these fucking people sleep at night is beyond us.
Here’s the first picture to surface of Josh Brolin and Elizabeth Banks as George W and Laura Bush in W.
Nice resemblance; too bad the Oliver Stone film’s script seems to have been written by a Freshman English major with a chip on his shoulder.
Tonight is huge in American Idol land, because the three contestants who survive Wednesday night’s elimination will get hometown visits. And after the awful weeks Jason Castro has endured (Andrew Lloyd Webber being disgusted by his dreadlocks, PaulaGate ‘08), it would be fabulous to send him back to Texas where he can receive a vindicated welcome from his fans. Jason’s fellow Texas A&M students are doing all they can to support him this week — issuing flyers, hosting watch parties and urging everyone to vote for a fellow Aggie in order to bring him back to College Station. But one cannot underestimate the cockroach-like survival skills of Syesha Mercado, who refuses to go away. And sure, she’s got a nice voice. But wouldn’t it be nice if someone made it to the finals who didn’t feel the need to screech glory notes week after week? Jason doesn’t look like he should be in a Disney movie. He sang in public only five times before he auditioned for Idol. He doesn’t lose his sense of self in an effort to please the judges or the Bush lovers of America who think, just because he has dreads, he is a stoner and therefore evil. Somehow, he has survived thus far.
So here’s my plea: Vote for Jason tonight. If you need any reminders of why he’s awesome, click through for one of his first public appearances ever. CONTINUED »
CUE THE CHIRPING CRICKETS “President Bush wants to send the ‘Jessica jinx’ to this summer’s Democratic National Convention in Denver. ‘We’re going to send Jessica Simpson to the Democrat National Convention,’ he joked in front of members of the Super Bowl-winning New York Giants who were visiting the White House Wednesday. Simpson was widely blamed for beau Tony Romo’s worst performance of his career as a Dallas Cowboys quarterback in December.”
While the leading candidates for president squared off last night in taped messages aired on WWE’s Monday Night Raw, the commander-in-chief himself appeared on an episode of Deal or No Deal to wish luck to Joe Kobes, a contestant who had done three tours of duty in Iraq. After making a joke about how everyone hates him because he’s pissed on the world, President Bush went back to brainstorming ways to stop Kobes’ peers from killing themselves.
Video of both shows after the jump.
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The Oliver Stone-helmed George W Bush movie had so much promise. Done correctly, it would be scathing, timely, brash and important, all the things that made Wall Street good and Platoon great. But we’ve just read part of the script and “wind from our sails” is an understatement—the ship has sunk. W is going to be paranoia-drenched hokum; Bush biographers are already saying it “really misses the mark.” Leave it up to liberals to ruin a sure thing.
Click through for a peek at some pages of script.
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American President George W Bush yesterday threw out the first pitch for DC major league team the Washington Nationals. The POTUS was loudly greeted as an occupier, not a liberator. That is to say that many in attendance “booed the shit out of him” (to quote a friend who was there).
According to a publicity stunt conjured by the New England Historic Genealogical Society, presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton can claim as cousins an odd assortment of famous people. For instance, Clinton is a cousin of permamommy actress Angelina Jolie. Interesting, but not implausible. That is, until you consider the NEHGS’s finding that Clinton’s rival, Senator Obama, is related to Jolie’s longtime partner, Brad Pitt.
Also said to have familial connections to Senator Clinton are Celine Dion, Madonna and Alanis Morissette. Perhaps fittingly, Barack can call six US presidents “cuz,” including James Madison and George W Bush. And maybe he gets his oratorical skills from another distant relative: Sir Winston Churchill.
Conclusions:
• Racists know very little about history.
• Politics has never mattered when the lights are off.
• The Obama camp needs to play up that Pitt connection.
• Demi Moore has a great new beauty treatment: Allowing leeches to prey on her. Which works out nicely, since she’s with Ashton Kutcher. [PS]
• Amy Winehouse cleaned up her act! Just kidding, she looks like hell. [DListed]
• Priscilla Presley’s face is all messed up because it was injected with “silicone used to lubricate auto parts.” We’re going to pretend that’s also what happened to Jocelyn Wildenstein. [TMZ]
• Genealogists believe Hillary Clinton is related to Angelina Jolie and Barack Obama is related to Brad Pitt. You know who else they say Barack is related to? George Bush. [Yahoo]
• Britney knows talent when she sees it: American Idol contestant Kristy Lee Cook, this season’s Sanjaya, was signed to Spears’ label many years ago and was even mentored by the pop star. We can see that worked out. [INO]
• Denise Richards legally dropped Sheen as her last name; still no word on what she did with her dignity. [Us]
Attendees of the most recent annual Gridiron Club press dinner got quite a surprise when President Bush donned a cowboy hat and a shit-eating grin before breaking into harmony with some other assholes. Literally a swan song, Dubya’s tune cracked wise about “Brownie,” the man who contributed greatly to the deaths of hundreds and hundreds of poor people, and about how it’s wonderful that the prosecutors are finally off Scooter Libby’s lying ass. Basically he crooned that he and his friends are total fuck-ups who have ruined the world. Funny, right?
If the song alone doesn’t fill you with rage, note that the POTUS performed this ditty in front of many of the most powerful people in journalism today; people whose job it is to inform you when our President is giggling about horrible tragedies behind our backs.
At the end of the performance, Bush received a standing ovation.
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today’s Someone Haiku winner is Lisa(#1):
Pride in being a
Family, not just for cats-
For pinnapeds too.
Yes, pinniped’s spelled wrong, but you can’t talk shit if you googled it. Well done!
New one after this.
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