Lindsay Lohan's freak-sistah (not Ali) is getting a chance to tell her possibly-insightful story of growing up a real-life Tenenbaum. Samantha Ronson is in talks to pen a memoir about her life, and while everyone is freaking out that Samantha is using her relationship with LiLo to garner interest (she is), the DJ/club owner/child-of-a-socialite probably has some juicy niblets from her own life that don't involve Fire Crotch. Is Ronson a legitimate celebrity without Lindsay? No. But that's not usually a criteria for authors.
Best part of the whole book lead up?
Rumor has it that MSNBC newsman Chris Matthews will run for senate once his contract runs out.
Seizing on those rumors, Philadelphia Gay News publisher Mark Segal asked Matthews about his stance on gay marriage. After eschewing the question - what would Matthews do about the defense of marriage act - Matthews went into a valid tirade about freedom, which could come across as support.
Segal, however, wanted specifics. What he received were expletives:
Good god, we've just seen the worst blind item the New York Post has ever run:
Which hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital - and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut.
Now, if the Post is printing this, isn't it saying that it has good information about a brutal rape that's gone unpunished—information it's keeping secret in order to drive up Web traffic and sell papers? And if it's not saying that, isn't it instead saying it will print unfounded bullshit just as long as it's alarming and salacious? New lows every day, people!
Oh, it's rumored that the violent sexual predator the Post is protecting is Will Smith.
WEDDED BLISS Ellen DeGeneres on new bride Portia de Rossi: "She's officially off the market. No one else gets her. And now she'll cook and clean for me."
L-words Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi were wed this weekend at their home in Los Angeles. Because every celebrity is equally unworthy of privacy in the eyes of money hungry paparazzi, there's some sneaky photos of the nuptials after the jump.
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"Cracks" are beginning to show in Lindsay Lohan's lesbian veneer. Anonymous busy bodies tell OK! that the actress and her gal pal Sam Ronson have been bickering and Lohan's been getting close to the cock:
Transgender reality show contestants are all the rage these days, with a trans woman vying to win the dubious honor of waiting on Sean Combs hand and foot on VH1 and another on the latest cycle of America's Next Top Model.
Model-hopeful Isis, a 22-year-old Maryland native, describes herself as "a woman born physically male" who would "like to help people, but [is on the show] to follow [her] dreams."
Converted Christian ex-con Michael Lohan says that were his daughter, Lindsay, to marry her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, it would probably be without his blessing.
"I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Michael. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask."
Yay, sanctimoniousnesses! And hypocrisy! And religions supposedly based on love that simultaneously prevent fathers from truly expressing love for their daughters! Jesus Christ!
Tedious mantis woman Ann Coulter has done it again! She's called John Edwards "faggy" in a new interview and once again reminded us that we live in an America so shitty that its rich can consistently use hateful slurs in public and not be stripped of their privilege to blab nonsense on TV.
Yay! Time for another game of Guess That Bleep. Much like with Mad Libs, your job is to find the appropriate word or phrase to fill in the space left vacant by mass media's increasingly arbitrary standards of decency.
Today's is a doozy:
Which cocaine-loving actress is said to be relying on her closeted husband to meet guys? A source says that when they were at a party recently, the hubby asked a fellow guest, "Do you want to [bleep] my wife? Because you can.”
Gawd, how awful are famous people?
Anyway, our guess is, "Do you want to get a great blueberry muffin recipe from my wife? Because you can." Your turn; have fun with it.
Is your town big enough to get basic cable but small enough to alienate all the funny, flamboyant gays who would have made great friends had they not left for the coasts years ago? Well today's your lucky day, hayseed:
In a rare move for a cable network, Lifetime is looking to launch a daytime talk show, handing out a pilot order for a talker hosted by Carson Kressley.
It is part of an effort by the female-centered cable net to add original programming during the day, when it currently airs mostly off-net sitcoms.
Let's hope this one doesn't go the way of the ill-fated Christopher Lowell show.
HYSTERIA (HA!) AROUND 'PREGNANT MAN' CONTINUES "British independent TV producer and distributor DCD Media Plc said on Thursday it had won worldwide rights to produce a documentary on the 'pregnant man' for Britain's Channel Four. DCD's September Films unit beat four other production firms to win the commission, and will have exclusive access to Thomas Beatie, the first man in the world to give birth, for the hour-long documentary, the company said."
How does a hip, knife-wielding vixen like Katy Perry get such backwards ideas about gay people despite living in Hollywood, one of the gayest places in the entire world? We can't be certain, but we think it might have something to do with the fact that in 2001, Perry was a devout Christian releasing religious albums under her real name, Katy Hudson. Here's a lyrical sampling from Hudson's "Faith Won't Fail":
For His angels surround me
And You've poured out this blood covering
And I will walk and not fail
For time and time again my faith won't fail
Might some of Hudson's reverence for the Church – particularly its notorious unwillingness to accept alternative lifestyles – exist within Perry seven years later? Could be!
Either way, a little down home homophobia isn't enough to sate Perry's pious former fans, many of whom are pissed about the tarted-up floozy she's become. Says a YouTube commenter called rayray1808:
My very best friend turned away from jesus , she was the worship leader at my church , amazing singer , now she is goth and in a band called holophonic porno , but she will come back to jesus and so will Katy .
HA! We'll end this post there.
After the jump, "Faith Won't Fail."
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Above is the video for "UR So Gay," a new song from 23-year-old minister's daughter turned pop singer Katy Perry, in which she mocks an effeminate ex-boyfriend with the refrain, "You're so gay and you don't even like boys."
About the song, Perry notes, "I'm not stereotyping gay people, I'm making fun of myself. I always have my sense of humor." Hmmm, well, quite contrary, Katy Perry. Perhaps you didn't write it with the intention that it be a homophobic screed, but a song that says straight men with no balls are gay is indeed stereotyping. Got that, you doofus?
Amazing, now not even the pop stars themselves know what their shitty songs are about.
Jesse Helms, the conservative former senator who spoke loudly and often about things like gays being "revolting" and Martin Luther King Jr being un-American, died early Friday morning at the age of 86. One can't help but wonder if the God the fiery Baptist so loved was making a statement by squelching such an effusive bigot on America's most celebrated day of freedom and independent thinking. Good riddance, etc.
Pete Wentz may have knocked up Ashlee Simpson, but he still gets shit for being a homo. The Fall Out Boy bassist tells Out that he regularly gets called out on the street - and he’s all right with that. In fact, he’s basically embraced the abuse.
The gay media watchdogs over at GLAAD have been watching an upcoming episode of FX’s 30 Days - and they don’t like what they see.
A forthcoming episode of the series, which transplants people into new lives for a month, features an anti-gay woman who trade places with a child-rearing lesbian. Cue dramatic music…
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