Look at how much they're trying to cover up his five o'clock shadow! Poor guy. Can you imagine having to do at 20 what you did at 12?
[Source]
$62.50 PER WORD "A short Harry Potter prequel written by JK Rowling has been sold at auction for £25,000 following a bidding frenzy. The 800-word story was sold at a charity auction in central London. The prequel comes almost a year after the last book in the boy wizard series, Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, hit shelves. The author said: 'I had great fun writing the card and I'm absolutely delighted that it has raised £25,000 for two such worthy causes.'"
Get this: magic isn't real. Neither is being a child actor. That's why Draco Malfoy, arch nemesis of Harry Potter (at least he was the last time I cared), is practicing to be a singer.
Malfoy's muggle name is Tom Felton and his muggle songs are too saccharine for this muggle-fucker to enjoy. What do you think?
• Say hello to the newest (and most likely fake) member of Facebook: Lindsay Ronson. [DListed]
• Beyonce and Jay-Z's marriage is official. Thank goodness, we were very concerned. [People]
• This should crush the two people who cared: Britney Spears' second How I Met Your Mother appearance is not yet set in stone. [PS]
• Evidently Harry Potter hasn't heard of Craig's List Missed Connections. [ICYDK]
• Eva Mendes didn't feel the need to brush her hair for the Metropolitan Opera opening night. [INO]
• Surprise, surprise: New photos have cropped up of Lindsay Lohan in a drunken coma. [CityRag]
ABRACAHOLYSHIT! "When Harry Potter actress Emma Watson turned 18 Tuesday, she received a birthday present fit for a wizard. For most teens, turning the big 18 and becoming a legal adult comes with a few small perks including voting rights. For Emma Watson, Hermione in the Harry Potter films, turning 18 grants her access to the $20 million she's amassed making the wildly popular film series."
THE POWER OF A BOY WIZARD "Publisher Bloomsbury says it is now in the 'post Harry Potter era', after it published the last in the series of the best-selling fantasy novels in 2007. Reporting its 2007 results, its pre-tax profit more than tripled to £17.86m - from £5.2m in 2006, a year when there was no book about the young wizard."
• Ha! [YouTube]
• Donald Trump leaves a $10,000 tip! "A buck for every pound of lard in Rosie's fat ass," he's heard to proclaim. [DListed]
•l Punk'd! [PS]
• Despite the rumors, after seeing these pictures we wager the implants have not been removed. [HT]
• With Harry Potter over and your 18th birthday approaching, get ready for the real sharks, young thing. [INO]
• Hollywood blackmail! [ICYDK]
• Maybe lots of surgery will solve life's woes. Worth a shot if one's a sad maniac, right? [Yeeeah]
• Welp, then there's this. [CityRag]
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is Sugar Magnolia:
Never saw the first.
Can someone please explain how
his back got broken?
To be perfectly honest, that haiku left a lot to be desired, but it was the best of the few that were not self-referential. Good effort, though.
New one after the jump.
CONTINUED »
• Zach Galifianakis + Will Oldham + Kanye West = Huh? That's funny. [BWE]
• I'd say the bottle is the least of her worries. [DListed]
• Here, Beyonce falls down a much smaller flight of stairs than Kelly Rowland would have liked. [HT]
• Turns out the Harry Potter flicks worked like a Givemeum Lootum spell. [ICYDK]
• Britney can't trust anyone. That should be good for her already damaged psyche. [Yeeeah]
• And the gay porn related to this flick begins. [CityRag]
Yesterday the Scholastic store in Manhattan's SoHo district shut down an entire city block to create a "Harry Potter Place" in celebration of the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The Place had a "Muggle Board" on which people could leave messages to their favorite kid wizards. And look what we spied: A proponent of our "No Shit" plea. That must be meant for Hermione.
Jesus, Details. Can we say "overkill"? There's better ways than this to make us understand he's not a kid wizard anymore. Now, not only do we know he's a man, we know he's a man who says tears are a turn-on.
• Harry Potter has groupies. Let's hope he uses a condom spell. [DListed]
• How to save face after License to Wed spit in it. [BWE]
• Methinks this dude's gotta drop a lot of his first name to keep her pleased. [ICYDK]
• She can't even steal good songs. [Yeeeah]
• Who's that holding that nasty camera? [CityRag]
• This model's everywhere. I think she likes sampling different local cuisines. [HT]
Look, even famous cheerleaders lead on nice nerds! Watch Lucas, guy. You'll learn. Say it with me: "Always a video gamer teacher, never a sex partner."
More under here from the Harry Potter video game release.
CONTINUED »
Right about now is when all those pricks at Slytherin are wishing that they had actually studied the "Rememberum Nothingum" spell. Then they could make Hermione forget about the time they put a toad in her knicker drawer.
Lots more from her W shoot.
CONTINUED »
• The Onion wins! [BWE]
• Akon is back to violating young people, and probably his parole. [DListed]
• Megan Fox: in. Lohan et al: fuckin' out! [HT]
• Celebrities with such little imagination they go to The Ivy in London, too. [ICYDK]
• Details once again loosens up its loafers and gets gay. [Jossip]
• Stop worrying about Gigli. Affleck's a mensch. [Glitterati]
• Heigl stabbing to death all your My Father the Hero crushes. [Yeeeah]
• LaChapelle is an oracle and a gimmicky artist! [CityRag]
• See, your honor? She's a saint. [DListed]
• I'm guessing Snoop Dogg was not captain of the debate team. [SH]
• Borat was supposed to look like Freddy Mercury? [Glitterati]
• No more kids means more bar time. Score! [ASL]
• The answer is five. Five movies until they start highlighting the girl's boobs. [BWE]
• Oprah's for Obama. I say put Oprah on the ticket and run a "Double O for '08" campaign. That can't lose. [Jossip]
First Daniel Radcliffe shocked his tweenie fan base by agreeing to appear nude on stage, and now he's gone and shocked his core Harry Potter-iacs by waving a condom around on television in Ricky Gervais' (of the original Office fame) show Extras. The Scoop reports:
Daniel Radcliffe isn’t the squeaky clean boy wizard some “Harry Potter” fans think he is.
The star of the flicks based on the wildly successful fantasy books appeared in an off-color skit, dressed as a Boy Scout, propositioning an older woman (played by Dame Diana Rigg) and playing with a condom.
The skit has been picked up by YouTube, where it’s drawing some outrage, but mostly amusement.
“[Oh my God], when I was watching it was like … I’ve never seen that side of Dan,” exclaimed one fan. “Normally I just see the sweet sort of well-mannered quirky Dan, not THAT!"
So here's the clip in question. And hopefully it won't spread misconceptions on condom use to those few 40-year-old Virgin-y HP fans. Tee hee.
[Source]
• Finally, Jessica Simpson takes charge of her latest PR mess…by distracting everyone with her hair. [Celebrity Nation]
• Julia Stiles and Zooey Deschanel, how indiedorable. [ICYDK]
• George Clooney talks about Darfur. [PopSugar]
• Something tells me that Carmine Gotti is on the 'roids. [CityRag]
• Some airport security dude has no idea how rich he almost was by trying to separate JK Rowling and her only copy of the last Harry Potter book. [Celebitchy]
• Scarlett Johansson doesn't like Hollywood women who are too skinny. She prefers everyone look perfect, like herself. [Junkiness]
• Tyra shows a pretty tanorexic girl what Tyra wants the pretty tanorexic to look like in 20 years. [BWE]
• A man from T-T-T-Torrence lied to get numerous jobs as a celeb security guard, most recently for Angelina Jolie. Yeah, so I just wanted to make a Bring It On joke, what of it? [A Socialite's Life]
• Celebrities auction off bags they don't really like for a good cause. Aw, how sweet. [I'm Not Obsessed]
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