I agree, Friday's Headline on Your Shoulders was a hard one. However, Kimberly proved herself unfazed:

Angelina refuses to sign a fan's baseball stating: "It's just too American."

Very, very well done, Kimberly.

New HOYS is after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Again, Headline on Your Shoulders went very well, despite this rather tragic haunting.

Today's winner is Alycia:

The View Cans Rosie, Tyra Misunderstands

I love a good double entendre, and I also find calling breasts "cans" to be charmingly bawdy. Cheers, Alycia.

The new HOYS is after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Yesterday's Headline on Your Shoulders winner is bettylafea, who perfectly encapsulated the emotional distress of everyone at Anna Nicole Smith's tribute club night:

Anna Nicole Smith tribute goes off without a hitch, but plenty of bitch

Nicely played.

Today's HOYS is after the jump.

CONTINUED »

It was another nice round of Headline on Your Shoulders yesterday. There were many strong entries and a revelatory post assuring us that Johnny Knoxville's intentions were a bit more innocuous than we knew.

Today's winner is Laura, whose entry actually sent me to Google:

Knoxville sends well-wishes to Harry Oswald-Murray O'Toole

Congrats, Laura!

Focus your headlines today on last night's Anna Nicole Smith tribute in West Hollywood, a farcical affair full of drag queens, mashed breasts, Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite and Janice Dickinson. What a tribute!

Make sure your headline connotes the passionate bereavement of the mourners.

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Headline on Your Shoulders was fantastic again. Though it's difficult to make "kill yourself" jokes with tact, quite a few of you did so.

Today's winner is Cheryl:

Wahler's Suicide Attempt Just as Disappointing as His Sex Tape

Nice job, Cheryl. Extra points for remembering that this guy is a habitual flop.

Today's HOYS will be in response to Johnny Knoxville in the t-shirt above. Considering his status as an Out cover model, I don't think dude's homophobe, so what is he? Keep in mind that calling him a "jackass" would be woefully stupid and easy.

Headline it!

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Apologies for the site issues today. We're working (read: on the phone yelling at people) to remedy everything as soon as possible. Thanks for being patient.

The show must go on, of course, and I'm pleased to announce that bedbugsandballyhoo strikes again as winner of Friday's installment of Headline on Your Shoulders:

Cameron Switches Sides After a Night In Paris

It's tough to beat an entry that, in only eight words, hints at lesbianism, famous sex tapes and a wardrobe change. Well done!

Today's HOYS will once again address The Hills' most turbulent waste of skin, Jason Wahler, whom, as Us is reporting, was caught chugging vodka and pointing a revolver at his head. How troubled genius minus the genius!

Headline this!

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I do believe that yesterday's Headline on Your Shoulders was the best yet. The submissions were great, and it makes me think that perhaps wit is positively correlated to the temperature. I had no choice but to cop-out and pronounce it a three way tie between Stumpy, whatev and ms. conception, whose entries are below, respectively:

Report: LC Causes ED

This Conrad is definitely not a Hilton: Sex tape bombs

The Hills are alive with the sound of snoring!!

Well done, guys! Split the good vibes up three ways, or feel free to argue amongst yourselves over who should have been the sole winner.

Today's HOYS subject is the photo above. On the left is Cameron Diaz on her way into Paris Hilton's house. On the right is Cameron Diaz exiting Paris Hilton's house. Can you see a difference?

Let's make today's entries as good as yesterday's. Good luck!

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Yesterday's Headline on Your Shoulders got a mite indelicate, didn't it? But I suppose that's to be expected when cups runneth over with both breasts and liquor.

bedbugsandballyhoo wins with this mutedly ribald entry:

Selma Speaks Candidly About Events Leading Up to Her Pregnancy

Cheers, bedbugsandballyhoo!

Let's keep our minds in the gutter for today's HOYS. Headlines today should focus on the story that Hills lame-os LC and Jason Wahler have dodged a bullet and had their sex tape shelved by the company that had purchased it with the intent to distribute because it was hardly hardcore. A TMZ source called the tape "very vanilla." But isn't everything in The Hills?

Gawker ran "Lauren Conrad Sex Tape Deemed Flaccid" for this one. Top that!

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Yesterday's Headline on Your Shoulders was brilliant. Many fine entries, but this one from sexyback was a real standout:

Jay-Z Has Tongue Under Control; Shoes Still Working On It.

Well, well well; very witty, sexyback!

Today's HOYS will focus on Campari's new "Hotel Campari" campaign, starring Latin bombshell Salma Hayek. Knowing that the bitter aperitivo can be a fairly tough sell, it seems as if the ad execs at Campari have taken to selling something completely different: Hayek's large boobs and long cleavage. If you've never had Campari, I can assure you—were Salma's boobs for sale—they would move like hotcakes compared to that cringe-inducing red nightmare.

Show me your wits and headline this!

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The very first edition of Headline on Your Shoulders went very well. Participation was healthy and, as requested, interesting—there wasn't a hint of cheap toilet humor to be found; of course, highbrow toilet humor is still very much expected and enjoyed.

The very first winner of Headline on Your Shoulders is Cheryl, who took a common theme among the entries and boiled it down to succinct perfection:

Apparently, Dita's Definition of "Tease" Has Evolved Over Time.

Nice work! I couldn't stop focusing on the lips.

The new HOYS picture is that well-timed gem above of Jay getting an eye full of ass despite being in direct proximity to his lady friend. Beyonce, it looks like Jigga's actually ready for some new jelly. (<---- That one would be a 6; you can do better).

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In the wake of the success of Someone Haiku, we at MollyGood have decided to include another daily feature to enhance reader participation (guess we were a li'l late on the UGC kick, huh?). We want to get your creativity flowing even more, and help you better fill anywhere from one to four more minutes of your workday with procrastination.

"Headline on Your Shoulders" is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it's never preferable to share requests with Bill O'Reilly—we ask you to please, "keep it pithy." And also, try to keep it interesting. What's that mean? Well, let's say the headline up above was "Gimme Headlines." That's a pun, and it's succinct, but it's not very interesting. Y'know?

The very first Headline on Your Shoulders subject will be this dizzyingly revelatory picture Dita Von Teese, who, it appears, didn't come out of the womb knowing that she wanted to be a burlesque pinup model.

After this, let's pretend she's always been on point with the bustier stuff, kay?

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