It's a good year to have a fake job. First, all those Bigfoot researchers are getting some airtime. Then Jon Stewart gets fingered as the most trusted man in news. And now "Outstanding Reality Host" is a category at this year's Emmys. Taking this nonsense a step further, the nominees won't just have their names read off a teleprompter — the five contestants nominees will group-host the primetime ceremony. But as we all know in reality show hosting, one day you're in, the next day, you're out. So who's going to show up for the opening of an envelope and hear her own name called?
• One of the fattest cats in America, who was abandoned in New Jersey, found a home. Aww. [DListed]
• Pink has some harsh words — via song — for ex Corey Hart. [INO]
• Kim Kardashian takes a break from her hard life to be photographed at the beach. [Yeeeah]
• Denise Richards' reality show may not come back for a second season. We weren't even aware someone was stupid enough to consider it. [ICYDK]
• Who hasn't seen Lindsay Lohan's funbags? [HT]
• Seal and Heidi Klum's family vacation is cuter than yours. [PS]
THE EMMYS JUST LOST ALL STREET CRED "The five nominees for top reality show host are not just up for Emmy awards — they're also going to oversee the entire ceremony! American Idol's Ryan Seacrest, Project Runway's Heidi Klum, Dancing with the Stars' Tom Bergeron, Deal or No Deal's Howie Mandel and Survivor's Jeff Probst have all signed on to co-host the Sept. 21 awards show."
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Like, I really don't feel bad for homeless people." — Brittany, Queen Bees
• Did Charlize Theron get plastic surgery? People with too much time on their hands want to know. [CityRag]
• Top 10 things overheard at Pam Anderson's birthday party. [Yeeeah]
• Reality TV is about to get even worse: Paris Hilton wants to do a show with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. [INO]
• Heidi Klum should know better than to prance around town in her husband's jeans. [PS]
• Colin Farrell acts like a decent human being after hitting his neighbor's parked car. Taking notes, Brit? [ICYDK]
• Which one of the twerps from Home Improvement got tasered? [DListed]
• Auf Wiedersehen: "How else will the new non-Bravo Project Runway screw things up, aside from moving to Lifetime and possibly filming without Nina Garcia? By moving to Los Angeles, the city that pretends to be a fashion capital with its own fashion week but is really just a town where Victoria Beckham pushes her crappy jeans at Kitson." [Jossip]
• Dennis Rodman! Remember that guy? He got arrested last night for roughing up his girlfriend. Now, go back to forgetting about him. [DListed]
• Surprise: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were wed in a secluded island ceremony. Unfortunately, they did not stay there after the wedding. [PS]
• Whitney Houston's daughter, Bobbi Kristina, tried to stab her mother. No word yet as to how much of her rage Bobbi Kristina blames on her name. [INO]
• Forbes says Gisele Bundchen now makes more money annually than every other person who stands around and has their picture taken wearing clothes and make-up. [ICYDK]
• Pete Wentz is being sued for assault and, unfortunately, the case has nothing to do with his music and our ears. [Yeeeah]
• You want mayo and shrimp on that pizza slice? Why are puking everywhere? [CityRag]
• "He died for our sins; that's how awesome he is!" [DListed]
• Justin Timberlake has given $100,000 to a charity that supports music education. Hopefully Justin himself will benefit from the donation and learn a thing or two. [PS]
• JK Rowling used to be tremendously depressed and unable to conjure a happiness spell. [INO]
• Gwyneth Paltrow has been appointed as ambassador of the Save the Children charity, despite wickedly naming her kids Apple and Moses. [ICYDK]
• Heidi Klum, mother of three, is still allowing people to strip her down and paint her naked body. [HT]
• "4,000 Dead in Iraq: A Visual Reminder" [SH]
Who knew the husband of a pixie like Heidi Klum could be so damn mean? We're not saying that we disagree with Seal about the paparazzi being "scum," but he doesn't have to say it to their faces. A simple auf Wiedersehen would suffice.
We hear word that some oddly popular event happened last night in Los Angeles. We're not really sure what it was all about, but we've got pictures of some of the self-congratulatory, insular men and women in attendance after the jump.
CONTINUED »
When will art directors realize that overtly concealing nipples doesn't make for a purer public, just one wondering more than ever what color Heidi Klum's areolas are?
[Source]
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is Dana:
Big boobs, one pole
and a crazy horse?
Its like our
honeymoon, Tommy!
Very well done, Dana.
New one under here.
CONTINUED »
In an interview that will air tonight in Germany, Teutonic superwoman Heidi Klum extends an invitation into her and husband Seal's home to flagging pop star Britney Spears. "She can call me and come live in our house with us for a couple of months," said Klum in that cute-ass accent.
Because Britney probably won't be taking Klum up on her offer, we'd like to go on record to say we're free and we love sauerkraut.
[Source]
Don't worry, this isn't a spoiler: The five contestants who remained after Wednesday night's broadcast of Project Runway showed their collections at Bryant Park today so as not to give away the real final three.
After the break: The designer behind each outfit, along with more pictures. CONTINUED »
• Are we having fun yet? [DListed]
• The updated bowl cut is the haircut of '08. We love it. [PS]
• Billy Zane and his lady friend recently took a swim. Billy Zane is bald and not trying to hide his head. Kudos to Billy Zane. [HT]
• Jessica Simpson is recording a country album, once again making us thankful we don't listen to nu country. [INO]
• Does a Lancôme ambassador have diplomatic immunity? [ICYDK]
• Recent DUI charge recipient Mischa Barton banned Paris Hilton from a party she was hosting because she doesn't want to be associated with the "party-girl scene." Ha! [Yeeeah]
• We think that's a kid hoisting a champagne flute! Oh, Italy! [CityRag]
We've never wanted to fantasize that a woman's breasts are whisker-bearing animal eyes and her naval a pursed mouth, but obviously some people do. That's gross. But even more unappealing is the million-dollar carnival thrown in honor of a bunch of underwear. We know Victoria's secret: People are gullible.
We hate to sound like prudes, but come on, lady. That's your ass crack. Has "fashion" really spiraled so far that now we're in the realm of sequined hospital gowns?
Editor
