Heidi Montag, one of the only members of Young Hollywood brave — or foolish — enough to publicly support John McCain, is quickly inserting herself into the GOP. She and Spencer Pratt dined with (in the vicinity of) George Bush at this year’s White House Correspondents Dinner, and yesterday she grabbed lunch with McCain’s daughter Meghan, who runs that blog. They ate at The Ivy, a spot where many famous people go to avoid being photographed by the paparazzi. Except, egads, the paps found ‘em! And they were tres interested in what they were up to! Well, not so much Meghan, because they didn’t have a clue who she was.
• Sorry, ladies: Pat O’Brien is getting married. Let’s take a moment to honor one of the last good men with an encore presentation of his infamous voicemails. (YouTube audio NSFW) [DListed]
• Get this: Uma Thurman might be pregnant at the same time her ex-husband, Ethan Hawke, is preparing to marry a former nanny that she hired. The circle of life, Hollywood style! [Yeeeah]
• Barack Obama must be doing something right: His daughter isn’t hanging out with Heidi Montag. [HT]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal threatens to leave New York City. To be honest, we didn’t even know she lived here in the first place. [ICYDK]
• Alert the presses: Lindsay Lohan almost kisses Samantha Ronson. [PS]
• Eva Longoria got “ugly” for her role on Desperate Housewives. Except … she still looks pretty. [INO]
BUT WHAT ABOUT HEIDIWOOD? “L.A. boutique Kitson just dropped Lauren Conrad’s line. How surprising, right? ‘Sales were lackluster,’ Kitson owner Fraser Ross told us. ‘Initially it was great.’ Ross tried to get Conrad to do a personal appearance in the store but said her people couldn’t figure out a date.”
For all two of you waiting around for Hayden Panettiere’s debut single, here it is. The song is titled “Wake Up Call” and it sounds like something that should be played at a 7th grade dance. Vocally, she sounds better than Ali Lohan and Heidi Montag, so … that’s something?
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Why Heidi Montag was allowed to “create” a fall collection for her Heidiwood line is beyond us, especially considering this series is even worse than the last, a feat we once thought impossible. Not only are the clothes uninspired and cheaply made, but each outfit has the dumbest name imaginable (see “Hoodiewood”). And evidently the only pants in her collection are those awful “black skinnies,” which says a lot about the variety in her line.
And if you weren’t totally convinced that this is the worst collection in the history of clothing, here’s the description of one of her outfits, creatively titled “Signature Required”: “All you need is Heidi’s signature for your VIP entrance…in this black denim jacket and overdyed black skinnies.” If there is indeed a club that required Heidi’s signature for admission, we don’t want to be on the guest list. Ever.
Can someone introduce us to a Jeopardy contestant who actually watches The Hills?
WHAT A JOKE “Why were Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt at a firing range in L.A. Tuesday? ‘All the super soaker ranges were closed,’ Pratt joked to Usmagazine.com. ‘Seriously, we’re learning in honor of Heidi’s step-brother. … He loved guns and always wanted Heidi to become a great marksmen. We’re fulfilling his dream.’”
The hills are alive with the sound of M16 bursts! Yes, those are real guns Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are caressing like awed monkeys, and, apparently, there’s a lot more where those came from: “The Hills couple has been concerned about their protection and … recently spent $10,000 on weapons at the Martin B. Retting store in Culver City, Calif.” As if these two sad, strange people weren’t frightening enough!
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So Ali Lohan’s singing career is really happening, as evidenced by her first single, “All the Way Around.” Ali describes the song as having a “hip-hop vibe,” which leads us to wonder whether or not Ali has actually listened to hip-hop.
Heidi Montag just released yet another single to the masses, because we know everyone has been waiting on the edge of their seats for more “music” from the D-list loser. This one is called “One More Drink,” in which she talks about getting wasted and going home with a guy. This all makes sense, because she hopes to glorify God through her music and claims to never drink alcohol, ever.
The great (and by “great” we mean “annoying”) thing about Heidi Montag is that she’s a mystery: Does she really believe the stuff that comes out of her mouth or is it all a big joke? And if it’s a joke, why does she insist on being the punch line?
Lately, Horse Face has gone off on a Christianity tangent, claiming she reads the Bible every day and is a “kind of non-denominational Baptist.” Whatever that means. Also? She plans to insult God through the power of her terrible music by recording a Christian album.
I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God. … God knows the truth in all of [the Lauren Conrad sex tape rumors], and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know?
Because if there’s anyone who reminds us of Christ, it’s Heidi Montag. And to further prove her point, Heidi says she and Spencer Pratt plan to go be missionaries in Africa to “feed children and help build things.”
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You knew Spencer Pratt would have something to say after Mary-Kate Olsen and David Letterman discussed his weasel-like qualities, and boy is his response a doozy:
I don’t really get why she’d use my name to get press for her little indie film that no one’s going to see. She should probably focus more on not getting dressed in the dark than on me.
I know I’ve made it in Hollywood when a famous troll is talking about me on Letterman. I forgive her, though. She’s had to go through life as the less cute twin, which must be tough.
How big of you, Spence. It’s a shame nobody can forgive you for going through life as the biggest d-bag in America.
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I’m feeling honest today, so I’m about to do something therapeutic: I’m coming clean about some things I’m ashamed to admit that I enjoy. As part of my job, I have to be judgmental and critical — but sometimes I just want to confess my undying love for the celebrities and shows the public majority views as repulsive. So here’s my list of six things I’m embarrassed to reveal. Admitting my problem is the first step to recovery.
Good news, y’all! Heidi Montag has released yet another single, and, according to Spencer Pratt, it’s “the greatest song of [his] life.” The song is titled “Fashion,” and Heidi even throws in a little French to make the song even more high-class. A sample of the lyrics, for those too self-respecting to listen:
I’m too fabulous / I’m so fierce that it’s so nuts / I live to be model thin / Dress me, I’m your mannequin
Seriously, this has to be a joke. No sane person could listen to this travesty and actually say, “Hey, let’s put this out for public consumption.” Right? … Right?
OK, so this is another Hills post. But before you start shaking your fists and cursing my name, let me state for the record that I truly feel in my heart this is worthy of a posting, if only for the pure enjoyment of watching David Letterman make fun of Spencer Pratt for six minutes. To make matters worse, Dave gets so annoyed by Spencer that he resorts to visiting Heidi in the green room, where the interview grows 10 times more awkward than previously imagined. By the end of it all, I’m still left wondering: With The Hills on hiatus and no LC sex tape rumor to promote, what the hell was Spencer doing on Letterman in the first place? CONTINUED »
Despite a recent photo shoot gone wrong, Hills frenemies Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad stepped out and took a united stand in the name of alcohol last night at LA’s Crown Bar.
Across town, Stephanie Pratt was blabbing to Us Weekly about the feud in which she is not involved, saying she doesn’t think everything is OK between the two roommates: “But I’m sure they will work it out — they have been best friends for so long.” Just like LC and Heidi, right?
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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag ruined one of the most beloved children’s characters at an AIDS benefit yesterday in LA. Barney would have been infinitely cooler had he eaten the reality show losers, so now he’s kind of dead to me.
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We should have seen this coming: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt started a Web site titled — of course — speidiweb.com. Spencer promises daily blog posts, pictures and quizzes: “You can do everything here that you can do on facebook or myspace,” Mr. Pratt brags. Our favorite part, however, is Heidi’s blog full of inspirational Bible verses. We’re pretty sure God isn’t interested in any of this nonsense, but what do we know?
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