Tim Curry speaks the truth: Anything can happen today! Your dog could turn into a cat, your sister into a bat and maybe, just maybe, you won't see any Sarah Palin costumes tonight.
I'm going as a liar, which requires I paint a bruise around my eye and scrape a backwards "J" onto my cheek in red lipstick. All night I'll produce fake tears when regaling everyone with the story of how I narrowly escaped death after being attacked by a big white man who wanted my money and was angry about my support of Barack Obama.
Considering the current economic crisis, don't be surprised if there's more 35-year-olds than usual knocking on your door, asking for cans of condensed soup. It's best just to give them the soup and get them off your porch before the wailing and moaning start.
Be safe out there.
Dear readers, while getting very, very drunk over this long, long weekend, remember whose time you're on. More than a break – and god knows he deserves a break – the working man deserves your respect and acknowledgment.
We're cutting it short today to get a head start on squeezing the last bit of summer out of this quickly chilling city. If you're in Brooklyn, come buy us a drink at Rosemary's RIGHT NOW! The rest of you: don't get hurt out there.
Here's hoping everyone has a safe and happy holiday. We'll be back with some weekend updates on Sunday, but until then, enjoy your Bale.
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• Here's Lindsay Lohan's new track, Bossy. Check it out before it's yanked off YouTube, then be all, "'Bossy'? More like sucky!" You genius, you. [INO]
• A Tyra Banks television show has prompted yet another act of violence. Nope, not kidding. [DListed]
• Lots of famous people drank tequila yesterday to celebrate the Mexicans beating the French 150 years ago. Very cultured, obvs. [PS]
• "There’s nothing cool about getting arrested for stupid stuff at my age." -Shia LaBeouf, who will be totally cool when he's arrested for stupid stuff at age 40. [ICYDK]
• Who keeps giving Paris Hilton all these dogs, and why? Doesn't everyone know she kills them by starving them to death? [CityRag]
We've heard religion can be a contentious subject, so, rather than tell you "Happy Easter" today, we'll just present you with the fuzzy rabbits and cute chicks in Rocket from the Crypt's video for "On a Rope". Have a good one.
For Roman Catholics in Ireland, St Patrick's Day, the holy day of obligation on which one remembers defeated snakes, has already come and gone. The Church moved the holiday to March 15 this year so that its observance wouldn't coincide with Holy Week. If you had planned on spending today kneeling in prayer with the Catholics of the Emerald Isle and contemplating what the life of St Patrick means to you, you're too late. But, if you're just out to wear green, get blitzed and pinch asses, today's your day. Have fun, heathen!
At right, in the shirt promoting murder, is Rihanna's brother, Rorrey. These photos were taken from Rorrey's Facebook profile, and they capture Rihanna with boyfriend Chris Brown at home in Barbados to enjoy a national holiday in her honor.
Aptly called Rihanna Day, it's a somber holiday for Barbadians, who on that day must come to terms with the fact that a 20-year-old girl's annoying song detailing a cheesy metaphor is their most exciting export in years.
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On an airplane today, we heard a woman tell her child that tonight was a holiday. She quickly qualified the statement with "but not a meaningful one." We've never heard it put more succinctly.
We're going to a party tonight. There, we will post up in a corner with a tall glass of bourbon and ginger ale and hopefully, against all odds, by midnight, run into some meaning .
We hope you'll join us on our mission to meet 2008 bleary-eyed, tired and drunkenly courageous.
If you're in Hollywood, ring in the New Year at the parties detailed after the jump. Or not. (For a New York guide, check out Jossip.)
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We hear you, Charlie.
Consumerism, greed, the exclusivity of religion, and all with a war on; what's to be merry about? Oh, to be Jewish on Christmas Eve. Those people have all the luck.
The holiday season is hard on the jaded, we know. Our recommendation for a tolerable late December? A whole lot of whiskey. (Knob Creek is a nice, easy choice.) But if having the shakes at Mass isn't for you, try remembering that the gifts and the stockings and the trees and the tinsel and the fake snow and the real snow and the bells and the credit debt are all meaningless compared to the people you love enough to not beat silent. Amid the madness, find your holiday miracles in the faces of your family members, not the mall.
If you don't have any family: whiskey, definitely. And sip with the knowledge that millions of others are choking down thick nog and polite conversation, quietly wishing for the solitude you're not sure you want.
Happy holidays, everyone.
We at Mollygood aren't very reverential when it comes to figures or traditions both past and present. Our job is to be critical, partial and skeptical, and we often practice our craft with an immovable rage some find shocking. (Unbelievable as it may be, sometimes even we are surprised at how fucking angry we can get.)
Though we rarely come up for air and sunlight, today we do. And in honor of that largely misinterpreted holiday, we'd like to give thanks. While we're thankful for many things (volunteers, Dickel, Gil Scott-Heron, the Iraq Veterans Against the War, Tucson, vegan turkey, etc), this venue is most appropriate to tell you we're thankful that you're stopping by and reading. Regardless of the thinly-veiled resentment we feel toward some of you every so often, we literally couldn't do it without you.
Happy holiday to you and yours.
Editor
