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Johnny Knoxville Gives Luke Wilson Worst Experience He’s Had Since The Premiere Of My Super Ex-Girlfriend

• Professional Jackass Johnny Knoxville didn’t take out a billboard with Luke Wilson’s private, unlisted phone number on it or anything. He just hired a plane to hover around some B-list party in Malibu with a flier.

• Did you hear? Lindsay is innocent of all charges and she was totally framed by the police! Like O.J.! Also, she has the excuse-making abilities of a thirteen year-old girl caught smoking ciggies in the girls’ lavatory.

• Next time, Paris feels like drugging Tyler Atkins, she may want to go with something more potent.

• Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupri went from rapping together on “Money Ain’t A Thing” to facing off in some bizarre mogul-to-mogul standoff over (you guessed it) money.

CONTINUED »

Jul 25, 2007 · Link · Respond

Rupert Murdoch isn’t the only one interested in taking over China. Playboy’s Hugh Hefner has his sights trained there, also, with plans to bring a Playboy Mansion to the country in 2009. Though, to be fair, it’s not like Hef is opening up in Shanghai, as he hoped for — but Hong Kong’s gambling mecca Macau, where you can pretty much sell 14-year-old brides off the back of a vegetable cart and not get a citation.

Jun 28, 2007 · Link · 1 Response

Amy Winehouse Blossoms Before Our Very Eyes

• Amy Winehouse’s hideous beehive hairdo momentarily distracts us from her lack of dental hygiene.

• Trannies and Madonna’s brother join forces to denounce Britney Spears’ comeback, ratty hair extensions.

• Mischa Barton is high on life. And, apparently, marijuana.

• Jessica Alba has a brush with the law. Unfortunately, she’s not a good enough actress to cry her way out of a ticket.

• The Sex and the City movie becomes a distinct possibility now that exec producer Michael King has agreed to direct it. And Kim Cattrall has agreed that she has no other career opportunities.

• Meanwhile, rumors abound that Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend is preggers! Hef has already taken the precaution of baby-proofing the “Orgy Room” in the mansion, and pre-ordering Hef Jr. a lifetime subscription to Playboy.

May 23, 2007 · Link · 2 Responses

• Food Network star Rachael Ray is possibly racist, definitely annoying.

• K-Fed’s worst nightmare is losing Britney’s fortune and ending up in the fast food industry. Related: the fast food industry’s worst nightmare is being portrayed by K-Fed in a commercial.

• Hugh Hefner shoots down Kelly Osbourne’s dreams of posing nude—and heavily airbrushed—in Playboy magazine.

• Jennifer Aniston gets plastic surgery, denies it; Ashlee Simpson welcomes her to the club.

• Mandy Moore is rumored to be dating DJ A.M. for the publicity; DJ A.M. is rumored to be dating Mandy Moore because she’s “really, really hot.”

• Scott Baio is shopping around a memoir about how he got dumped by most of Hollywood’s leading ladies.

Jan 24, 2007 · Link · Respond


Hey, ladies! Still stressing over that NYT article that says you’re going to die alone, be eaten by wolves, and never ever find a man? Well, the truth is, the Grey Lady is probably right. 51% of you have been so busy with your insignificant, Sex and the City inspired dalliances, that you’ve been ignoring a crucial segment of the population: really, really old guys.

Think Anna Nicole Smith, circa 1990’s. Think Sherman McCoy’s mistress in Bonfire of the Vanities. Think Bill Gates in another 30-40 years. Think Drew Barrymore grossly making out with Bruce Willis after the Golden Globes. And, of course, think first and foremost of Mr. Hugh Hefner.

If dating much younger women is a trend, Hef’s been “on top of it” for about 20 years now. The 80-year-old Playboy mogul has had one foot in the grave for the last ten years or so, and that still hasn’t stopped him from banging a bevvy of beautiful women who spend their days lamenting the fact that Viagra was ever invented.

And now Hugh, that lifetime bachelor, is thinking about procreating with one of his three girlfriends. He describes it as a very real “possibility,” never mind the fact that he’ll never make it past the kid’s fifth birthday.

So start your engines, girls. This one may be off the market, but there are plenty of geriatric fish in the sea.

Jan 18, 2007 · Link · Respond

• Courtney Love takes to the internet with an anonymous screenname…and still can’t find herself a date. And here you thought online dating was just for losers and crazies!

• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady possibly dating? Possibly to make beautiful, beautiful babies together??

• Hugh Hefner congratulates Pam Anderson on divorcing Kid Rock; Pam continues to fuel rumors that Borat was responsible for the split.

• In their continuing effort to befriend new and easily persuadable celebs, Tom and Katie spent the Globes after-party whispering conspiratorially with J.Lo and Marc Antony.

• Drew Barrymore grossly made out with Bruce Willis at Prince’s Golden Globes after-party, giving hope to men over 50 everywhere.

Jan 17, 2007 · Link · Respond



• Come on, people. Hugh Hefner didn????????t have a stroke! He just went to bed after Wheel of Fortune. Because he????????s 80 freakin???????? years old? [AP]

• Yes. We all know Colin Farrell is bad in bed. We saw the tape. [R&M]

• Normally we don’t make fun of sick people … but eww. Jared Leto has gout? OMG did he give to Lindsay Lohan? [Page Six]

Fabian Basabe tries to keep his existance meaningful by standing up for his friends and suing Bungalow 8. For the time being, however, you can all enjoy his absense from the club. [NYDN]

• Well, the gays for one, one watch Oprah over Ellen. Somehow, we’re sure the rest of you agree. [Queerty]

Aug 8, 2006 · Link · Respond

• Like, seriously guys, Lindsay Lohan wants us to take her acting seriously. We told you Linds, have a baby, and we’ll see your movie. [ET]

• Did you know Queen Elizabeth and Hugh Hefner are the same age? Too bad she can’t have six hot ripply boyfriends. [Vogue]

Paris Hilton decided to bet her Bentley away in a game of poker. Actually, it was a game of strip poker, but everyone at the table had already seen her naked, so they took the car instead. [Superficial]

Jamie Foxx knows how to spend money, sing, and most importantly, screw around [3am]

• Because Gem and Barbie weren’t dirty enough, we now have The Pussycat Dolls dolls. The perfect gift for that special little 11-year-old whore in your life. [TMZ]

Rached Sklar thinks being right is more important than being first. To which we say “psha!” [Mediabistro]

Apr 21, 2006 · Link · Respond

Elizabeth Spiers makes us feel special. [Fishbowl]

• The Time Inc. flee before fire parade begins, with Elizabeth Mayhew of Real Simple leading the pack. [Mediaweek]

Ashton Kutcher thinks adoption is ???????the new thing,??????? but Demi Moore????????s little Ashton spawn would be the ???????hot thing.??????? [Sky]

New York Times reporters may be smart, but they’re scared of tape recorders, bloggers, and, well, people in general. [Buzz Machine]

• There is life after death for Elle Girl staffers. [Fishbowl]

Jessica Alba is not a gold-digger. She totally checked the “no” box on Hugh Hefner’s “will you sue me?” note. [ET]

• The minds behind the Gawker Stalker craze get a shout out from their beloved Perez. [Perez Hilton]

Apr 5, 2006 · Link · Respond