
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is Lily the Pink:
Subtle yonic forms?
There is nothing subtle here.
Look, a vagina.
Yonic! Beautiful.
New one after the jump.
CONTINUED »

• As they should be, MTV is now so self-loathing! [CR]
• Here's other's picks for the handsomest Affleck brother. I don't see it. [PS]
• Whoops! [HT]
• "Love It or Hate It: The Fringe"? Fringe! [INO]
• Comic book nerds click here! [ICYDK]
• Xanax: The Healthiest of Addictions. [Yeeeah]
• Ozzy-cats. [CityRag]
• Facebook survey results! Find out if you're as hurt by poke declines as everyone else! [Jossip]

Women who ride horses are usually a sure thing as far as keepers go. Not only is the act of riding horses a bit sexy in and of itself, but if a woman is regularly at the stables it means that she's not completely opposed to bad smells, puddles or situations that may result in her getting hurt/dirty, and that immediately makes her six times better than girls that go, "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!" if they get a spider web on their dress. If she rides horses and is as pretty as Nicole Kidman, you should immediately ask her to marry you, even if that means giving up drinking for the rest of your life.
Where the hell does Heidi Klum get all that energy? Watch this video montage of celebrities doing Karaoke on The Ellen Show (Hugh Jackman, Heidi, John Krasinski, Ellen and Joan Jett, in that order) and tell me how she is soooo freaking bouncy even when she's heavy pregs. Also, she has the voice of an 8 year-old girl. Which is a little bit creepy.
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Tara's got the knockers wrangled in, hair nicely did, make-up not-clowny. It even looks like there's pretty much no way her girls could fall out of that dress, despite it being a tube top which often lends itself to such disasters. I mean, something about the Reidster still completely terrifies me, but objectively she looks great. Now that she's back on track and attending fancy events like this premiere of The Fountain, hopefully she can stop self-medicating so much before going out. If she just pulls this off a few thousand more times, maybe we'll forget about the past few years. Maybe.
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• Kate Bosworth might actually be able to fold herself up and fit inside that shopping bag she's holding. [PopSugar]
• Sarah Jessica Parker interacts with one of her own as her son can only watch in confusion. [WWTDD]
• Wait a minute, what the hell is Rachel Weisz doing holding baby Shiloh?!? [JustJared]
• Hugh Jackman gives money to orphans, thereby winning over the final three percent of the straight female population. [A Socialite's Life]
• After this moment you will never be able to un-know about Carnie Wilson's vagina lift. [CityRag]
• Who the fuck does this Cristal dude think he is say he doesn't want hip hop press? He should not underestimate the intelligence that Jay-Z has. [DListed]
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• How much would you pay/have to be paid to kiss Axl Rose on the cheek? Rosario Dawson would slip him some tongue for a little publicity. [DListed]
• Pamela Anderson can wear short shorts all she wants, but I can't stop trying to figure out what is nestled in her chest. [Hollywood Rag]
• Tom Hank's hair has deserved grades from A to F throughout the years, but a C for Da Vinci Code? Sounds like grade inflation to me. [The Jay]
• Halle Berry and Hugh Jackman had a bit of a "racist incident" on a British radio show. Thankfully Halle wasn't actually in the studio to tear the wrongful DJ a new one. [Just Jared]
• Quentin Tarantino proves once and for all that he has the worst taste in women by choosing Fergie as his new muse. Sorry, did I say women, I meant the ambiguously gendered. [IDontLikeYouInThatWay]


