JAYDEN JAMES RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL "Britney Spears' two-year-old son Jayden is out of hospital and back with his family, according to a post on the singer's Web site. 'A source close to the Spears family has told us that Britney and family have left the Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center,' says the update. 'Jayden is fine.'"
[Source]
AND BY 'MIGRAINES' SHE MEANS 'POOR TICKET SALES' "After much speculation, the cause of Janet Jackson's mystery illness — which caused her to cancel a string of tour dates — has been revealed. The 42-year-old was suffering from vestibular migraines, her rep said in a statement, an unusual condition that creates the sensation of vertigo."
KELSEY GRAMMER'S HEART TROUBLES CONTINUE "Television star Kelsey Grammer is back in hospital with an irregular heartbeat, two months after suffering a heart attack the actor has said nearly killed him, a celebrity news program reported Monday. The 53-year-old actor, best known from 'Cheers' and his sitcom 'Frasier,' has checked into a hospital in New York after feeling faint, 'Entertainment Tonight' said."
Do you ever have to stop reading an article just halfway into it for fear that you're going to begin weeping all over the keyboard (or the newsprint for you nanas and pop-pops)? It happens to us at least once a day, but this one we clicked away from in record time:
Dr. Donald Richey, a dermatologist in Chico, Calif., has two office telephone numbers: calls to the number for patients seeking an appointment for skin conditions like acne and psoriasis often go straight to voice mail, but a full-time staff member fields calls on the dedicated line for cosmetic patients seeking beauty treatments like Botox.
Dr. Richey has two waiting rooms. The medical patients’ waiting room is comfortable, but the lounge for cosmetic clients is luxurious, with soft music and flowers.
And he has two kinds of treatment rooms: clinical-looking for skin disease patients, soothing for cosmetic laser patients.
“Cosmetic patients have a much more private environment than general medical patients because they expect that,” said Dr. Richey, who estimated that he spent about 40 percent of his time treating cosmetic patients. “We are a little bit more sensitive to their needs.”
Like airlines that offer first-class and coach sections, dermatology is fast becoming a two-tier business in which higher-paying customers often receive greater pampering.
That's right: A growing trend in dermatology is to subjugate people with SKIN CANCER in favor of Botox recipients! And the doctors doing this apparently aren't at all ashamed of what disgusting voids they are!
Good morning and welcome back to your world.
Yesterday The New York Times spit out a very important, "fit to print" article whose entire point could have been summed up with a single throw pillow from your Nana's needlepoint days: money doesn't make people happy; in fact, sometimes it makes them sad and stubborn. Sure, you could have figured as much after watching a single Amy Winehouse meltdown video on any crap tabloid show, or after taking a good look at the hardened addict Corey Haim, former boy prince, has become, but then you wouldn't be spoon-fed, would you? And the Times always uses so many words!
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SICK IN MANY SENSES OF THE WORD "At its Worldwide Developers Conference on Monday, [Apple] announced a new 3G version of the iPhone in a push to target mainstream consumers. But a strong undercurrent at the event focused on the emaciated appearance of co-founder and CEO Steve Jobs. While Jobs looked especially gaunt in his trademark black turtleneck and faded jeans, other Apple executives spent more time on the stage during his keynote address — a notable move for an executive who typically spends much of his speech rallying the Mac faithful and introducing many products himself. This created a dilemma of sorts for those of us in the business and technology press, but it is also not the first time his appearance has caused concern. In 2004, Jobs successfully battled pancreatic cancer, and since then, there has been occasional speculation about his health after one of his public appearances. … Henry Blodget at Silicon Alley Insider apologized upfront for bringing up the personal subject, before wondering if Jobs has had a recurrence of the cancer that he successfully fought but kept hidden from investors until after his surgery."
Back in March, Patrick Swayze, that perfect marriage of a dancer's body and a ninja's fists, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told he had just five weeks to live. But now, approximately three months later, the Road House star is still alive, beating the odds like he did so many commies in the propagandistic classic Red Dawn. Doctors have even cleared him to begin work on a new A&E television series, The Beast. Huzzah!
After the jump, you want it so bad it's like acid in your mouth.
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Cameron Diaz, John Mayer's ex girlfriend, is now dating Paul Sculfor, Jennifer Aniston's ex boyfriend, and Aniston and Mayer are dating each other. Diaz is no longer said to be dating Diddy, who is Jennifer Lopez's ex, but that's neither here nor there. Got it? Good, now stay away from Hollywood. It's a goddamn disgusting petri dish.
FIVE YEARS CAN'T SQUELCH TRUE LOVE! "A Manhattan judge has sentenced a former mental patient to three years of probation for stalking and harassing actress Uma Thurman. Jack Jordan of Gaithersburg, Md., will serve the probation in his home state, with the condition that he receive outpatient psychiatric treatment. … State Supreme Court Justice Gregory Carro also imposed a five-year order of protection. If Jordan violates any of the court's terms, the judge says he'll be jailed."
Doctor's said today that a malignant brain tumor caused Massachusetts senior Senator Ted Kennedy's seizure over the weekend. Though he is said to be "in good spirits," most patients with the type of cancer Kennedy has live between one and five years after their diagnosis.
Remember when Patrick Swayze was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and given just five weeks to live? Well, either his situation has drastically improved or his television cop drama, The Beast, is going to prove to be misnamed and very, very short lived.
A&E Television Networks will spend $650 million on new programming across TV and new media in 2008, up $50 million from a year ago and up 30% compared with 2006.
…
A&E … said it will launch a second scripted series in early 2009; the top contenders are "The Beast," starring Patrick Swayze, and "Danny Fricke," starring Connie Nielsen. The new series will join the upcoming "The Cleaner," which will debut in the summer. "Cleaner" star Benjamin Bratt was at the upfront, where A&E screened the first two acts of the pilot.
Guess that miracle cure worked!
SADDER THAN 'MADAME BUTTERFLY' "Luciano Pavarotti, in severe pain months before his cancer diagnosis, lip-synched his last performance, according to the maestro who conducted the aria at the opening ceremony of the Turin Olympics."
Charlton Heston, whose career included over 100 films and a stint as the president of the National Rifle Association, passed away last night at his home in Beverly Hills. Though his family will not comment on Heston's cause of death, it is presumed the 84-year-old died of complications from Alzheimer's disease.
Jenny McCarthy believes common medical vaccinations cause autism in children. And you know what she thinks of your opinions if you disagree? Bullshit! At least that's what she yelled last night while berating three doctors trying to reason with her on Larry King Live. King, more ineffective than ever, was powerless to stop the ranting McCarthy, who, as the doctors were trying to tell her, doesn't know what the hell she's talking about.
Uncensored footage after the jump.
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The fading Amy Winehouse's blistered skin "[shocks] onlookers," reports the Sun. "Shocking" as it may be, though, physicians remain undisturbed: " … Doctor Carol Cooper said: 'The damage is quite severe, but not unusual with crack cocaine abuse.'"
Amy Winehouse, the world's most unbelievably alive human being, doffs her tattered, bloodstained clothes for a new ad intended to raise awareness about breast cancer. We don't know in what way this photo corresponds to breast cancer – perhaps someone with no artistic vision at all intends for that electrical tape to represent malignant tumors – but we support any and all campaigns against the deadly disease. And kudos to the makeup artist who got rid of all those track marks. Full image here.
GET WELL, COOP "CNN's Anderson Cooper was back at work Wednesday after minor surgery two days earlier to remove a cancerous mole from underneath his left eye. There was no indication the skin cancer had spread, spokeswoman Shimrit Sheetrit said."
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