Well, it’s only 2008 and the admen already think (know?) we’re this lazy and programmed to conform, so how long until they completely abandon their games and just start saying, “Give us your money because other people have”?

TAKING THE PLUNGE “Indiana Jones star Harrison Ford has proposed to long-term girlfriend Calista Flockhart of Ally McBeal fame.”

• Why did Dunkin Donuts pull this ad featuring Rachel Ray and her scarf? [HP]

• Patrick Swayze says he’s responding well to treatment. No jokes, just sending good vibes his way. [People]

• Fans of Indiana Jones have too much time on their hands if they’ve already pointed out 40 mistakes since the movie’s release last weekend. [ICYDK]

• Just as expected, Pete Doherty has killed one of his cats. Where the hell is PETA in all this? [DListed]

• Today’s portion of the R. Kelly trial will deal with threesomes that may or may not involve an underage child. Good clean fun. [SH]

The highly anticipated Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull premiered to a standing ovation and “enthusiastic” critics last evening at the Cannes Film Festival, assuaging fears that the movie was too long and mediocre. Not that everyone in the whole world wasn’t going to see it no matter what.

Despite early reports that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the newest film in the famous franchise, is a mediocre effort, Hollywood insiders are expecting the film to break box office records.

”Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” opens on Thursday, May 22 at 12:01 a.m. (midnight Wednesday), so this will make for a huge opening day, which I am projecting in the $41 million-$44 million range (that includes the post-midnight Wednesday screenings). Then Friday should be $32 million-$34 million, Saturday will likely tick up to $34 million-$36 million and the Sunday leading into the holiday will be on par with Friday. With a Memorial Day Monday of $22 million-$24 million, I am calling for a five-day gross in the $162 million-$172 million range.

As four-day Memorial Day weekend grosses go, “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull will likely be the all-time second- or third-best in history. If it reaches the high end of my five-day range, the new Indiana Jones movie has a chance to become the all-time No. 1 five-day opening in history …

Explain to us again why movie critics have jobs? Oh, that’s right, they don’t!

DISASTER! “[George] Lucas‘ public statements about downplaying expectations for the [new Indiana Jones] film didn’t exactly smack of confidence or enthusiasm. Numerous reports of tepid-to-zero reaction from audiences who saw CRYSTAL SKULL’s latest trailer in front of IRON MAN suggested the movie wasn’t energizing folks the way it should … And, multiple reports from sources on the shoot smelled…uneasy. They were always about what was happening, rather than how cool the movie looked, or how exciting it seemed to have Indy back in action. … There was definitely a screening of CRYSTAL SKULL within the last day or two … feedback has been ‘uniformly rough.’”